158: When You Struggle With Consistency | Live Coaching Session

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 158.

Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four.  Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

 

Amber B  0:46  

Hey,hey, hey,  welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio, I'm your host, Amber, Brueseke and many of you know that doors to Macros 101 are now officially open. So big deal, we only open doors to the program twice a year and that's now, now is the time. So if you have been thinking about joining Macros 101 or you're interested or even a part of you is curious about the program and what it entails, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to the podcast episode just previous to this one where I talk a lot about the program and what makes it different and who it is for. And then head over to bicepsafterbabies.com/join. That's the information page that will give you all the details that you need to know about the program to answer any of your questions and that's where you can come sign up and join us. 

 

Amber B  1:36 

On Sunday, that podcast that I released on Sunday, I talked about what makes Macros 101 different. And one of the things that really makes the program different is the coaching that you receive in the program. And I outlined in that episode, some of the things that make the coaching that you'll see inside of Macros 101 from me and the Macros 101 coach is so different from so many other programs. And I think I can talk about it, I can describe it, I can talk about how it's a transformational deeper level coaching, but you can't really get a sense of it until you can see it and hear the coaching and hear how I help other women to step into their power how to help other women to ask themselves better questions, and how I teach and how it's different. And so in that vein, I thought it would be great to bring a free coaching Friday replay to you. So every once in a while on Fridays, hence the name free coaching Friday, I will bring a follower on and she can ask questions and we can go and have a coaching conversation. And you really can start to get a sense of the depth that we go with the coaching, it's not just super level, oh, here's the problem you're having Okay, well, here's the solution, it's really getting to the root of what is causing the problem. And I would say nine times out of 10 when a woman comes to me asking a question in her fitness journey, what she thinks is the problem that she thinks needs to be solved, isn't actually the root of the problem. She's, you know, seeing the manifestation of that problem and there's something deeper. And so a lot of the questions that I'm asking that you'll hear me ask in this coaching session are about getting to that deeper level, about helping, you know, whoever's in front of me, whoever I'm coaching to figure out what is actually keeping them stuck and then what are the next steps moving forward. Those are two things that I teach, my coaches and that I implement in my coaching is, I help my coaches learn how to get to the deeper root of the problem. And then how to help the client have a next step and have clarity in what that next step should be in their journey. And you're gonna hear that, as I take Ashley through a coaching interaction. 

 

Amber B  3:43 

As you listen, you're going to hear us talk about consistency, which I would say 80 to 90% of women struggle with, and how to improve that consistency over the weekend, which is a very common struggle again, that people have. We're going to talk about how perfection actually gives you worse results in your journey. We're going to talk about how to know if you're on the right track as you're taking steps forward. We're going to talk about what to expect during a reverse diet, which I think is a really valuable conversation that I have. And we are going to define what consistency means and evaluate if our definition is helping us to be able to reach it. So that's what you can expect as you listen to this coaching call. And let's dive in. 

 

Amber B  4:31

Okay, Ashley. So what's your question? What do you want to get coached on today?

 

Ashley  4:36  

I would love to talk about consistency. And I don't know if you want me to give you a quick blip about anything but it took me forever to find you and macros and I have been on a journey. You know working out was never negotiable for me. I was always good at working out but I was doing a lot of HIT and running and that was all fine, but I wasn't getting anywhere. And I was now learning to eat quite low calories and in the 1500-1600 range. I took the Build Your Own Workout too.  I'm in the middle of your 12 week program lifting love in life, reverse got myself up. And then you know, things just start to kind of slip. And, you know, one little slip isn't that big of a deal and it doesn't really hurt, you know, your progress. And I think what happens is, they, you know, they're kind of spread out at first and then they start to get closer together and they start to compound and I'm to a point where I'm like, man, I feel like I've just, you know, delayed my progress. 

 

Amber B  5:39  

Okay, cool. Yeah. And you know, one of the great things and those of you guys who are on here live or listening to me coach Ashley, one of the great things about this is, as we go through this coaching experience, I'm going to be asking Ashley questions, and she's going to be answering them. But I doubt that there is somebody who's listening to this, who hasn't at least struggled with consistency in some area of your life. Right? So this is going to be a very applicable topic to anybody, no matter what area of your journey you're in, because consistency is something that we struggle with. And sticking to something that is new is always a struggle. And so that's absolutely something that I can help coach you through. And so what I'm gonna be saying, for those of you guys who are listening is I'm going to be talking with Ashley, and I'm going to be asking her questions. But you would be very remiss to just sit here and be like, Oh, this isn't applicable to me, because this is all about Ashley. Because every single question that I'm asking Ashley, you can and should be asking yourself the same question. So that you can start to get to the bottom of you know what's going on with you and how you can start to apply these concepts to your dream. So let's start out because I always think it's really important to work backwards from whatever your goal is. So what currently is your goal?

 

Ashley  6:50  

My goal is, I'm working on building. I want to look like I work out. So I want to build muscle, I want to get dressed without second guessing myself. So I guess I have a few kinds of loose goals, kind of a feeling type of goal. And I want to look strong. Burn some fat, but I'm working on I'm kind of working more on muscle first. 

 

Amber B  7:13  

Okay, and what phase are you  in your journey? And when I say phase, I'm talking about nutritionally, where are you at.Are you in a deficit? So you're gonna cut? Are you in reverse? Are you at maintenance or in a surplus?

 

Ashley  7:27  

So I'm, I think I'm still reversing, I'm kind of hanging out at 1900 calories. I haven't added more yet. I think that I could. But I think because of this kind of inconsistency, I've just been like, okay, just stay here, because I'm still hitting these days where I'm just not, you know, 100% where I want to be. 

 

Amber B  7:47  

Okay, cool. So we talked about, you talked about having some inconsistency in that getting a little bit closer and feeling like that was keeping you from the results that you want. How do you know that?

 

Ashley  7:59  

So I don't know it immediately. I think that that's the thing with it is that, you know, one kind of, I don't even want to call it a misstep. But one one time of maybe not tracking a full meal, being out, even doing an estimate that doesn't immediately hurt your progress. But like I said, I think that that almost gives you like a call sense of like, oh, okay, well, I can do that, you know, and then they start to kind of add back in, I guess that's the main way that I know is that I dropped a little bit of weight in the beginning of my reverse. And now I've kind of swung back up to where I was. And, you know, hey, if I maintain it there, I'll be pretty happy. But I was immediately seeing and feeling a lot better in my skin. And I kind of don't know, and I think that that's where I can kind of tell my inconsistency is just not supporting my goals and not supporting all the work I'm doing in the gym either.

 

Amber B  8:55  

Okay, so you said you feel you don't feel quite as good in your skin? Can you tell me more about that?

 

Ashley  9:01  

Yeah, so I'm just, I feel like it for me, it's a struggle on where I find it is getting dressed, you know, putting something on taking it back off putting something on not liking and just, you know, we're on vacation right now, which is I'm in my bathing suit. And I had kind of a plan of feeling awesome. I feel good. I don't feel bad. I have really enjoyed my vacation and I feel good, but I think I could have felt better had my consistency been on track four weeks ago. You know what I mean? Had I not hit that blip, kind of before that.

 

Amber B  9:38  

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think it's, you know, if you're reading the comments, people are relating to this like you're not alone in this struggle. And I think something I want to really highlight something that you said beforehand and even push it a little bit further because I think it was really wise and I want to make sure everybody catches that. And that is this idea. Okay, so we talked a lot about consistency and about developing consistency because on some level, we know that the more consistent that we are, the more successful that we're going to be. But I think it's really important to acknowledge that that is not a linear causation. Okay, so have you ever heard, like, correlation does not equal causation? Right? You probably heard that. And oftentimes, we can take this idea that there can be a correlation between consistency and results and make it into a causation. So what we can do is say, if we have, you know, 80% consistency, and we're getting XYZ results, that if we had 100%, consistency, we would be getting, you know, 20%, better results, right, we make that the correlation between the two, when in fact, there is a, and what I found over and over and over with clients is that there is a drop off point where it's like 80%, consistency, you're getting results. And if you try to push yourself to 90-95-100% consistency, you actually fall off, you actually get worse results, because now you're focusing on that perfection. And perfection is unattainable and so then we fall off. 

 

Amber B  11:10 

And so I want everybody here listening and hearing this, because this is one of the secrets to being successful, is finding that fall off point for you. And it's going to be a little different for everybody, right, like, but with the way that I phrase it, and you'll hear me talk about this for those you guys who take the five day challenge or come join us in Macros 101, you'll hear me talk about a Venn diagram that has two overlapping circles that overlap in it in an area. And those two overlapping circles are effective, right, we want something that works, that's really important. And the other circle is enjoyability, we want to enjoy the process, okay. And most times women have separated those circles out in their minds, either it can be effective, and then it's probably going to suck to some level, right? Like, I'm not going to give up things and restrict and like it's not super fun, but it's going to be effective, and it's worth it. Or it can be enjoyable. And if it's enjoyable, then it's probably not very effective. Because it's like I'm living life and I'm enjoying what I'm doing. It's not hard enough, it needs to be harder, needs to suck a little bit more for it to be effective. And this is the two separate circles that a lot of women live in. And that's where we get a lot of this tension between ourselves of like, well, I want it to be effective. But then I want to give myself some grace, but then I want it to work like I want it to work. But then you know, I want to go out to eat and I don't want to track it. And we get this back and forth that a lot of women feel in their lives. 

 

Amber B  12:48 

And what I want to offer to you know, you, Ashley, and everyone else who's listening is that those circles are not separate circles, but there's actually an overlap. And what we're looking to find is that overlap for you is like how can we make this effective for you and reach the results that you want, while also being enjoyable. And what I'm saying is that's not going to be 100% consistent for most people, it's not going to be that overlap, that's going to shift the weight bar to one side. Okay. So that's a really important concept to understand. 

 

Amber B  13:09 

Now, I want to go back to what your goal is. Because I think this is always really important to always be going back to what is your goal, right? Where do I want to go, where am I now and what's getting in my way between reaching that. So when you told me your goal, I wrote down that you want to look like you workout, you want to build muscle, you want to look strong, and then you also want to lose fat. Is that accurate? Okay, cool. So what is telling you, from what I'm getting a part of you feels like you're not getting there as fast as possible, or you're not on maybe on the exact right track to be able to get to that goal. What tells you that you aren't on track to get to that goal? 

 

Ashley  13:49  

I would say feedback from the scale. Yeah, so I weighed myself every morning. Just I like the feedback, it doesn't mess with my head. So it's been an okay thing for me. I don't know if he recommends that or not, but I've just been doing it for a while and I you know, it doesn't ruin my day, I can kind of be like, Okay, I know exactly what that's about, you know, we're good. So like I, you know, when I reversed, I actually went down, my weight went down, and I was like, oh, check this out. This is pretty sweet, you know, meeting more, I'm, you know, seeing this change. And then I also felt like my waist measurement, not felt I knew my waist measurement was going down. And I was like, Okay, this is I am on track. And then when I felt like you know, that consistency when I felt like I fell off track a little bit with that, that goes back to where they had been and just have points that I've struggled to really get past and stay past.

 

Amber B  14:50  

So I want to make sure that we're really clear with what the goal is and what the expectation is of a reverse because I think this is really important is sometimes we're disappointed or we think that something's going wrong, when in reality, we just went in with expectations that weren't aligned with what is reality. So that's really important. If you see what I heard you say, You started a certain weight, as you started the reverse, you dropped and now you're back up to like that certain weight, correct?

 

Ashley  15:19  

Yeah, when I heard that to the inconsistency, so, you know,

 

Amber B  15:23  

you're seeing where I'm going. Okay, what would have happened, if you had stayed at that weight, and you started to reverse and you didn't move from that weight, and you were still the same weight?

 

Ashley  15:33  

I thought that was probably pretty cool. I guess that just kind of had me thinking, oh, we're going this way. Yeah, okay. 

 

Amber B  15:40  

So that's what I'm talking about. The expectation during the reverse is not to lose. The expectation during the reverse is not to have your weight go smaller. That's not the expectation. That's not the purpose of the reverse. Can it happen sometimes? Yes, but it's not the goal. It's not, it's really not what we want to have happen. And so that's what I'm trying to highlight is like, we went into this process and something happened, and we got excited about it, and then it went away. And you correlated that to the inconsistency, whereas it actually wasn't even the goal at all. So what I'm seeing is that you're right on track with what your goal is, which is to reverse to gain muscle to like, get your calories up to get your metabolism up. Like, there's no problem here. What if there's no problem? What if there's no problem here?

 

Ashley  16:32  

Well, there might not be and I'm okay with that. But I guess I still worry that it's my actions that are causing it. You know what I mean? Because I know that I've not been 100%, right? 

 

Amber B  16:45  

So we're going to get to that. And we're going to talk about consistency. We're gonna get there. But can we come there from a place where maybe there's not a problem that I thought there was? Okay, that's going to be a much more effective place to come to this conversation about consistency is like, there's not really a problem. But we're going to talk about consistency and how we can get better at it and how we can improve on that. Because I think that is a really important conversation. And one of the things that is really valuable, the longer that you stick around me, the more you'll start to learn that I talk a lot about fitness. And I talk a lot about weight loss and body composition changes. But those things that I teach you and that we talk about in that realm, extrapolate so much further to other areas of your life. And so when we talk about consistency in the realm of fitness, yeah, that's all well and cool, we can talk about that. But as you're more consistent in your fitness journey, don't you think you're going to be more consistent in your relationships? And don't you think you're going to be more consistent with other goals you set in other areas of your life? So I think there's a lot of value in having this conversation about consistency. And approaching it from the vantage point of like, you haven't done anything wrong, there's nothing wrong here. There's no emergency. and we can approach it from that perspective.   What is your definition of consistency?

 

Ashley  18:01  

I would say my definition would be tracking every day, all meals, all the way through. I will usually go on like a good, solid Monday to Thursday, or every single thing goes in. Friday starts to look a little bit Saturday is usually maybe breakfast and lunch. And then Sunday, probably the same. So I kind of have like, 100% through the first part of the week, and then I kind of trail off. So consistency for me would be getting everything in and making sure I'm close to my numbers.

 

Amber B  18:34  

Cool. And if you did that, what would that do for you?

 

Ashley  18:41  

I think it would. Well, I guess it would, I don't know, I guess it would make me feel like I was on the right track and doing everything within my reach to get myself towards my goals. 

 

Amber B  18:54  

Okay. So when we understand this graph that I was talking about how there is a point and consistency that if we are so focused on consistency and perfection, that it actually becomes demotivating and actually makes a lot of people not continue on and actually ends up quitting and putting your progress more so like more perfection is not always better, more perfection sometimes can actually be a lot worse. 

 

Amber B  19:18 

So knowing that and understanding that I think the first question that we always need to be asking ourselves is, is my definition of it the thing that needs to be changed? Or is my like reaching for that definition something that needs to be changed? And I think that's a really good question to ask ourselves is like, how will we know when we've gotten whatever we think it is that we need? And is that again, going back to expectations? Is that a realistic or even helpful expectation when we go into our journey? I feel the intent, right? The intent you tell me if I'm wrong, but the intent that I'm getting from you is that your intent is good. Like your intent is like I want to be successful. I want to put all of my effort into this process. I want to know that I didn't leave, I left everything on the table, right? I did everything in my power to be able to reach this goal. And that's the intent. But understanding, like with that intent that that intensity of like it has to be a certain way to be successful, again, can actually make you unsuccessful. Does that make sense? 

 

Ashley  20:23  

Yeah. 

 

Amber B  20:25  

Okay, cool. So we're gonna go because this is a really great topic, put a 1 in the comments, if you guys are listening. And you struggle over weekends, like, this is something that a ton of people struggle with. Or they're like, yes, I'm good Monday through Thursday, Fridays, like it and then Saturday, my Sunday is all falling apart. And then I restart Monday, right? That's a very, very common cycle that we see a lot of people go through. And so let's chat about that. So what happens on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, what prevents you, from tracking every day, all of your meals?

 

Ashley  21:05  

There's a couple of things, so some of the meals are out of my hands, right. So we have family dinner on Sunday, sometimes also on Fridays, especially during the summer. And then I'm also home, Saturday and Sunday. So instead of packing my stuff, and going about my day, everything's there. And, you know, I'm the snack hand router, and I'm doing you know, my hands are in the pantry quite a bit. And I wouldn't say that anything prevents me, but just I think I'm just out of the routine. So it's a lot easier to plan when it's just me. I'm packing my food, I'm off and doing my thing, I've measured everything and ready to rock and roll versus when we're kind of a little out of routine over the weekends and kind of you know, heading to a store or heading to a park or you know, doing different things. 

 

Amber B  21:54  

Okay, cool. So when I asked you for your definition of consistency use you told me tracking everyday all of your meals? Is that the definition of consistency?

 

Ashley  22:04  

In regards to this, I feel like that would be helpful. Yeah. 

 

Amber B  22:08  

Okay, so the gap that we're experiencing right now is that during the weekend, you're not tracking or not always? Okay, so what I'm gonna ask you the question again, what keeps you from even though the meals are out of your hands, even though you're not home, even though you're out of your routine, what keeps you from at the end of the day, going back through your day and just tracking it?

 

Ashley  22:35  

I will do that sometimes at the end of my day, but I don't believe I'm as accurate as I need to be. And I think that that's where that creeps in versus as I'm eating it during the week, it's going in, it's done check, we're good to then I'm kind of going backwards at the end of the day and trying to guess and remember and like good I grabbed some of those fruits mags that I eat that you know, whatever.

 

Amber B  23:00  

Okay, um, okay, so there's two things here, I'm gonna address them separately. Again, going back to your definition of consistency, because I want to tease this out and make sure you're really clear on what you want. Your definition was consistency, tracking every day all of your meals. But it sounds like even when you do that you still don't feel like it's consistent, because you don't feel like it's accurate. So is there a second half to that consistency definition?

 

Ashley  23:26  

Yes, I would say tracking all of them and being on my numbers.

 

Amber B  23:31  

How close?

 

Ashley  23:34  

I have struggled to get to the plus minus fives and the plus or minus twos. I'm happy if I'm in kind of a 10 window, and one of the other ones might sit down and I might provide myself some overlap. You know, my carbs might be lower, but I might have overshot my protein. But if I'm like, if I'm close, and if I've met protein, and then if I'm you know, within a pretty good window of like 10 I feel good. 

 

Amber B  24:01  

Okay, cool. So that was the first thing. I thought there was a second part of that, but I didn't want to put words into your mouth. So the next thing is you said you aren't as accurate? How do you know how accurate you have to be?

 

Ashley  24:14  

How do I know how accurate I have to be? I guess because I feel like I've kind of eroded some of my progress. So I would say I'm feeling like I need to be more accurate to get myself where I want to go. Is that a good answer? I don't know if I'm answering you the way you're looking. 

 

Amber B  24:35  

No, that's a great answer. But I would bring you back to the conversation. That's why we started with talking about what you're actually seeing and recognizing that there's no problem with the way things are going right now. You're trending beautifully. You're trending in exactly the way that I want you to trend on a reverse. Like this is the phase you're in. And have you ever done a reverse before? 

 

Ashley  25:02  

Nope.

 

Amber B  25:02  

Okay, cool. So  this is like, let's pretend that you had never gone to Greece before. Nobody ever told you about Greece, you didn't know anything about Greece, you should have been Greece. And all of a sudden, people around you are talking like this really weird language. And you're like, what is going on here? Nobody's talking English. Why isn't anyone talking in English? And someone that pulls you aside is like, this is Greece, in Greece, they speak a different language. Like they have different cultures, they have different customs, like, it's not gonna look the same as it is in the United States. And then you can be like, Oh, this is cool. This is super fun. Like I was, I wasn't expecting something different. But it's super fun. That's what I'm gonna do for you right now. Okay, you're in Greece, and you've never been in Greece before. And so you don't know what to expect, you have no idea what to expect. So I, as somebody who has been in Greece, i.e. reverse and maintenance is going to tell you what to expect. Because everything that you're telling me is totally normal, it's totally normal to second guess, this process, it's totally normal to sometimes see your weight go down and go back up, it's totally normal, there's nothing wrong there, it's totally normal to start to feel a little fluffy, or feel like, you're not quite as comfortable as you were at the end of your cut, that's totally normal. Some of that can be physical, a lot of that is psychological. Because we have this connection with eating more food means I'm going to gain weight. So even if you haven't gained weight, or even if you haven't been to that a lot of us will look in the mirror and be like I feel different. Or I feel fluffier, that's totally normal. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, or that you've learned anything, these are all very normal stages of a reverse. And you're rocking through them beautifully. 

 

Amber B  26:46

And when I asked you what your goals were, you told me four things you said: look like I workout, build muscle, look strong and lose fat. And three of those four, specifically focused on muscle and gaining muscle and adding muscle to your body, which is going to require you to eat more food, it's going to require you to maybe see the scale go up. It's going to require you to like, sometimes let go of that fear around eating more food means gaining fat, those are going to require those things of you. But you're on your way. You're doing it right. You're doing amazing.

 

Ashley  27:26  

That's wonderful. Because I felt like I was getting a little messed up since I said I had been on that track. And I'm like, Oh, you know, it was definitely a brain tease, you know, to kind of see if you're down. Well, I was adding and I was like, Oh, that's the way to go. You know? Yeah.

 

Amber B  27:44  

So we're gonna talk about what's next. Because that's always really important in a coaching conversation is for you to have a next step. Okay, yeah. And so one thing I really want to highlight, and this is for all of my friends everywhere, whether you're in reverse or not,  one of the reasons that many women struggle with inconsistency is because they're restricting on some level, okay. It's a way for our brain to rebel against the restriction. It's like, I don't know if you have teenagers, but I have a teenager. And if I told my teenager to not do something, they're much more likely to do it, because I've told them not to do it. And it's the same thing with our brain. When our brain feels restricted. Our brain finds ways, i.e. self sabotage, in order to not have to do it. And so weekends can often manifest in that way. It's like if we are feeling more restricted throughout the week, then it can manifest in a way not always. But that is a very common thing. And so a lot of times what I will find, especially with women who are going to reverse, is they're like, I'm going to stay at this calorie level until I nail it before I move to the next calorie level. Okay, but what if moving to the next calorie level is what's going to help you be consistent. So that's what I find a lot is that people get stuck in reverses because they aren’t the key to go to that next level, they aren't willing to, like, make that leap. But you're doing beautiful, you're doing everything right. And your next step is to add calories. Like your next step is to keep going, nothing's wrong here. It's to keep going. And what you may find is that as you continue to add those more calories, that consistency actually becomes easier. 

 

Amber B  29:28  

I also would like to suggest or offer to you that we can come up with a slightly more supportive and effective definition of consistency.  So, I think that again, when we say this is the definition and we're only ever able to get here we always feel like we're falling short, when sometimes we just need to change the definition a little bit. Okay, that field that gap of feeling like you're not there is more problem with the definition then a problem with the execution. And when we can close that a little bit, we can make it a little bit more realistic, a lot of times people can rise to that little jump. It's like, I can jump here, but I can't jump here. If you have a ladder, and you have the ones that are like this far apart, it's really hard to jump up there. But if you put little ladders, it's much easier to step up. So I think what we can do right now is we can say, Okay, what am I doing in terms of consistency? And how can I adjust my definition so that it's improving my consistency? I'm moving in that direction, but it's not so lofty that when I screw up on Friday, I feel like oh, well, I just might as well start Monday, how can we improve that definition? So it's pushing you towards where you want to go without demotivating you because it's too big of a jump.

 

Ashley  30:49  

Okay, so I guess if I reel that back in a little bit, and I would say, not 100% tracking is not failure, and that I would start tracking as I don't know if that's still striving for perfection. I would be really thrilled if I could track two out of my three meals Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Well, like  I feel like I knew, you know, if I was able to measure because the meals were within my control. You know, and all of that. So I would say if I could do two out of three meals Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I would feel pretty solid about that. And then more would be great. And if not, you know, estimate them. I still would like to log it and have an idea of what happened. But yeah…

 

Amber B  31:46  

That sounds wonderful. So how much are you doing right now?

 

Ashley  31:52  

 I am as far as tracking?

 

Amber B  31:54  

Yeah, so your goal is two to three meals Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm just wondering where you are at this point.

 

Ashley  32:00  

I make it through Friday. Usually dinner is not tracked on Friday. Breakfast on Saturday, maybe lunch? And then same for Sunday breakfast, maybe lunch.

 

Amber B  32:13  

Okay, so cool. So awesome. What I'm checking in with you about and this is something you guys should all be checking in is that when we set a goal, there's no reason to set a goal with what we're already doing. Right? A goal would be something that moves us beyond what we're already doing. A good goal does. And so this would be a movement in that direction, right? And getting to two out of three meals on all three of those days would be moving you in that direction. How confident are you on a scale of zero to 10, because today's Friday, how confident are you on a scale of zero to 10 that this Friday, this Saturday and the Sunday that you can fairly accurately track two out of your three meals.

 

Ashley  32:48  

I feel pretty good about it. Today is a little tricky because we're at a waterpark. But I feel like I could definitely get on track with that today, tomorrow and Sunday when we're back home. So I'll feel a little bit more like I've got my clothes all together and I'm ready to rock. 

 

Amber B  33:04  

Yeah, I mean, you only need two out of the three meals. Right? So I'm assuming you've already eaten breakfast. So we're really just talking about breakfast, lunch or dinner. Right? It's like focusing on that consistency for one and maybe letting go a little bit like that worry around consistency for the other. Okay, cool. And how would that feel if at the end of the weekend, you look back and you were like, Yes, I tracked pretty accurately two or three meals on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, how would that feel to you? 

 

Ashley  33:31  

I think that I feel pretty good. Because I wouldn't feel like, man, I don't even know. You know, I guess at the end of the day, and I hope I got there. You know, I think I would feel like if I really, I said solidly I knew a pretty good chunk of my day that I would feel a lot better about that.

 

Amber B  33:47  

Awesome, cool. And to put that in perspective, too. If we're talking three meals out of the week, we're talking three meals out of what seven times seven, seven times three is 21. So three meals out of 21 meals, you would be maybe a little bit less accurate. That seems pretty, it seems pretty reasonable to me in terms of reaching that consistency. Now, I'm going to offer you something else, Ashley because I think you're somebody who can understand this and take it and run with it. And that is that there is an option. If you would like to once you have achieved that move the goalposts a little bit and push yourself a little bit more. Yeah, I knew I was picking up that you would like you'd be one of those people, some people that's not very, like just sticking with this would be really, really helpful to them. Okay, but I can tell that you're someone who likes to push it a little bit, and that's awesome. And so what we can start to do is again, make another wrong. Right, so then the wrong again, we've pulled down the wrong and so now let's maybe I want to track all three meals on Friday and two on Saturday to on Sunday. But can you see how when you end the weekend and you're feeling confident and you're feeling like I did that now. Your brain starts to say, and I could do it again. And I could do a little bit more. 

 

Amber B  35:03  

And so you give yourself that confidence. Confidence comes from doing things and convincing ourselves that we can do them. And so doing that over and over and over again is going to allow you to maybe, I mean, you can do whatever you want, if you want to get 100% consistency, and you think that that's valuable for you, like you can get there. But you can't get there by jumping there, like, let's get there by stepping there. And at the same time, I'm still gonna push you and remind you that there is not a causation effect between consistency and results. And there tends to be a drop off, like you go past a certain point, it actually makes your results worse, okay? So we need to be really aware of that, and the way that you will start to know if that happens. Okay, this is the way that you're gonna start to know if you're gonna be asking yourself these questions as you go through it, if you're gonna remember the Venn diagram. Okay, so the Venn diagrams, you remember what the two things were? 

 

Ashley  35:58  

Enjoyable, and effective.

 

Amber B  36:00  

Awesome. So when we start feeling like we're moving out of that enjoyable, that's when you know that you're gone too far. Okay, so one of the questions I like, in fact, we just had a coaching call with our clients sudo, two days ago, and one of the things or yesterday, or one of the things we talked about was the question, Is it fun? Is this fun? And if it's not, if the answer is no, we need to change something. But that is a cutie, that's something that needs to be changed. So you can ask yourself that question. Is this still fun? Like, this is fun to me. And if we start to get to that place, and it's like, no, it's stressful, it's depressing. It's annoying. It's like all of these things. Well, you ‘ve moved too far. We move to that realm. Okay. So that's a way that you can know that.

 

Ashley  36:46  

And that's awesome. That sounds great. Yeah. 

 

Amber B  36:49  

Anything else? 

 

Ashley  36:52  

Yeah, I mean, I think that that's a fantastic I guess my next question, and maybe we'll cover this because I am 1,000% on board with Macros 101 when it opens up. Possibly, maybe we'll cover it there. It is about you know, I've been eating  pretty low for a long time. How long do you hang out in a reverse or once you get to maintenance? Like, how long do you hang there before you like, start to bring it back down and try to start to see some different results? 

 

Amber B  37:20  

Yeah, we absolutely talk about that in Macros 101. But I'm going to actually refer you to episode number 76 of the podcast, because I actually answered that question in that podcast. So it's Episode 76. It's called the cycle of weight loss. And that's going to be a really helpful one for you or anybody else who has questions about length of time and each of the phases and how they all kind of flow together.

 

Ashley  37:41  

Yeah, yeah. And I think I've listened to that. And if I remember, I think it's, you know, you stay in maintenance as long as you want to cut, right? But if I was low for a really long time, is that longer or is that what I then look forward to? And I think, Okay, well, I would like to do a cut for eight weeks. So I should at least hang here for another eight, or

 

Amber B  38:00  

you do not look forward. Okay. But I'm again, I answered that question in the podcast. So I'm going to push you to go and listen to the podcast and hear the answer. Plus, I think it's going to be really valuable for you to re-listen to that episode. Because you're in a different place right now than you were when you first listened to that episode, you're gonna get different things out of that episode by re-listening to it. It's gonna be really good for you at this point in your journey. But yeah, we cover all that stuff in Macros 101 as well. And I'm excited I get to get to hang out with you some more. 

 

Ashley  38:29  

Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm excited. I can't wait. This has been awesome. 

 

Amber B  38:34  

Cool. Well, thanks, Ashley, you've been amazing. 

 

Ashley  38:38  

Thank you.

 

Amber B  38:40  

I hope that you got a lot of value out of listening to me coach Ashley, and you're starting to see the differences in myself coaching, maybe then other styles of coaching that you've experienced in the past. A lot of coaches default for no fault of their own, mostly that you know, they've, they've never learned otherwise. But they default to telling you what to do. They default to giving you advice, they default to, you know, maybe education or teaching, or they default to cheerleading. And while none of those are inherently bad, and those can definitely play a part in coaching. That does not create a transformational coach, that's not what someone who is actually going to create an internal to external transformation. And so the coaches and I, I trained all of my coaches inside of Macros 101 in transformational coaching. They are also all certified in transformational coaching to be able to coach on a deeper level. And I think the best way to be able to experience that is to hear someone else get coached and to start to recognize also how much value there comes from listening to someone else get coached. My guess is as you were listening, even though I was not coaching you that you were able to apply some of the things that you have heard me ask Ashley to do on your own journey, and that is the power in listening to somebody else get coached. 

 

Amber B  38:40  

If you're interested in joining macros one on one, now is the time. We all have doors open until this Thursday September 2. If you have a question go ahead and DM me shoot us an email at support at bicepsafterbabies.com. Our job over the next couple of days is to help the right people join the program so that we can get started so that we can get into coaching so that we can help you to create the transformation that you want in your life both internally and externally. Head to bicepsafterbabies.com/join to come and join us and hopefully I'll see you on the inside. That wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber, now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do it.

 

Outro

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