260: What I Did Right (And Wrong) in 2022

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies radio episode 260.  

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode. 

Welcoming 2023 00:47 

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I am your host Amber Brueseke and welcome to 2023! This is the first episode of the new year, and honestly the first episode I recorded in, in quite a while. Last year we started for the first time taking, I took the month of December off and we replayed some of our biggest, biggest hits from the year in terms of podcast downloads and I loved it so much that I did it again this year. So it's been a hot second since I've recorded a podcast episode, but one of the things that I love about taking the month of December off is that when I come back in January I'm excited and I'm like ready to dive back into recording and providing new content for you guys. So we have some amazing episodes that are planned and scheduled for 2023. 

2022 review: How I love goals and its importance 01:38

But to kick off this year, I wanted to do a review of my first podcast episode of 2022, which was around the goals that I had set for the year. So if you have been listening to the podcast or you been following me for a while, you probably have seen that I love goals. I love setting goals. I love what setting goals does for me and and pushes me in the direction of growth that I want to go and I'm really big on my client setting goals. I think that when we set goals we achieve more than when we just kind of let life take us where it will. Now, that's not to say that letting go and letting go of control can't be a really important part of the process. Oftentimes, like kinda like against the grain of what we may think. Sometimes achieving our goals isn't about our muscling, our way, our effort in our way, and sometimes it's about letting go. But I still think the goal sets the destination. It sets the trajectory for where we want to go, and that's why I think goals are so important. 

Common mistakes in setting a goal 02:41

In fact, if you aren't too keen on goals or you haven't really integrated goal setting into your life for whatever reason, there's lots of reasons people haven't, haven't done it. I haven't gotten around to it. I don't really think that goals do anything for them, are afraid of what will happen if they don't reach their goals, or what that will mean about them. I highly, highly recommend going back and listening to Episode 92. This is one of my favorite podcast episodes that I've ever done, but it's called “Are You Making These Mistakes With Your Goals?” Because I find that the people who don't set goals are very, very often making some of very similar mistakes, very common mistakes. And when we can address those mistakes, you can come to goal setting from a really whole excited place instead of bringing a bunch of fear into goal setting, which is what a lot of people do, and one of the biggest mistakes. And I talked about this on the episodes, so I'll mention it here. But if you wanna dive deeper into this topic, I really highly recommend going back and listening to Episode 92. But one of the biggest mistakes that I see people making is that they have like dumbed down goal setting to only set goals of things that they feel like are achievable and I totally get why people do this. It's because it, they feel like if they set a big goal and then they don't hit it, then they'll have, they'll be disappointed, they'll be sad, they'll be discouraged, they'll be frustrated, and so to prevent them from themselves from feeling that negative emotion, disappointment or discouragement or anything like that, they end up setting goals that are smaller and you know, they're pretty sure that they can hit them. And so I get. I get why people do that, but I think it's a huge mistake because if you're setting goals for things that are realistic or things that you're pretty sure that you can achieve. The goal itself doesn't really motivate you to anything bigger than you would have already done had you not set the goal. If something is super realistic, it probably would have happened if you didn't even set the goal. So then, what is the purpose of setting that goal? And so one of the things I teach in that episode is I talk about this concept of setting big scary audacious goals, setting goals that you're not sure that you can achieve, that are, that may feel like a stretch, and the purpose of that is actually to stretch you like if it feels like a stretch. That's awesome because it means you have to show up. You have to be. You have to do things differently than you've done in the past, when you set big goals, it stretches you and challenges you and pushes you towards being and being and developing into something better than you would have, had you not set the goal.

Outcome Goals vs Process Goals 5:14

And now I always counter this with when I teach goals, I always distinguish between outcome goals and process goals, so I think there is very much a time and a place for you to set realistic, achievable goals that are measurable that you can check off and and all of those good things. I think that there is a really important part, time and place for that. And I call those process goals so they're not the goals that you want to achieve, but they are the goals that you set along the way to achieving the big goal. The outcome goal is where you wanna go. It's the lighthouse for where you're you know the direction in which you are growing, and then along the way we set process goals to be able to babies up our way towards the bigger outcome goal. And yes, process goals I teach should be achievable. They should be measurable. They should be something that you're pretty sure that you can accomplish, so there's a time and a place for those like realistic goals. But when we're talking about creating direction in our life, creating an avenue for growth, setting goals that are big and audacious and scary, and we don't know how we're going to, to reach them is how we enhance and push our growth a little bit faster. And I was, I was recently listening to, my husband and I have loved the TV show the Queen on Netflix and they recently came out with a new season and as we were listening to some of the new episodes, one of the characters, I don't even remember which character said it, but they said it and I grabbed my phone immediately and wrote it down because it rang so true in this context and talk about goals, and the quote was, “It's only when we risk reaching too far that we find how far it is possible to go.” We read it again, “It's only when we risk reaching too far that we find how far it is possible to go.” 

The purpose of a goal 06:57

And that's just this idea that when we set those big goals that, again, we're like I don't know if maybe to accomplish this, but I'm gonna give it a shot. We, we are able to push ourselves probably a little bit further than even we thought was possible ‘coz most of us underestimate what is possible. Most of us undersell ourselves in what we can actually accomplish, and so when I go into a new year and I'm setting goals and I'm setting New Year's resolutions, I'm dreaming big and you're gonna hear as I go through 2020, sorry, 2022’s goal list, I didn't hit most of the goals. I'm like looking at them right now. I didn't hit most of them, but that doesn't mean that 2022 was a failure because I grew, I set those goals and I did new things and I tried new experiments and I pushed myself in ways that I would not have pushed myself had I not set those goals. So for me that's the purpose of a goal. The purpose of a goal is not just to hit it, it's hey, I'm setting this, this benchmark that I want to achieve and now I have to show up differently. I have to grow as an individual. I have to do try new things that I've never done before to see if I can achieve this new goal and that for me is a win whether or not I actually, you know, check the box on the goal itself. 

Putting your goal on a Vision Board 08:12

OK so if you wanna listen to me talk about my goals for this year before I do this review, you can go back and listen to Episode 179 “Do You Struggle With Goals? Listen To This + My Goals for 2022”, so that's a good podcast episode to listen to. Just if you're someone who does struggle with goals, I talk a little bit about goals in that podcast episode and then I talk about the goals that I've set for this year. So, I am sitting up in my room, my husband took the kids to the dentist. I pulled my vision board off of my wall because after I set my goals for the year, I always like to create a vision board with visuals and, and check boxes and things that I can do that I put next to my workstation. So I pulled my vision board off of the wall and up in my room and we're just gonna kind of walk through the goals that I set this year. And we're gonna kind of do a review and see, and see how I did. 

First achieved goal in 2022: Double Podcast Downloads 09:03

OK, so we're gonna start with some of the goals that I achieved and this and like I was checked off, right? This list is shorter than the list of goals that I didn't achieve, so we're going to start with this one. So first one was we wanted to double the podcast downloads for the year. We ended 2021 at about 1.7 million downloads. And so the big, crazy, audacious goal was to double that in 2022 to hit 3.4 million downloads. And I will probably tell you that we surpassed 3.4 million downloads total overall downloads for the podcast. I think we, we passed it like in the middle of November and so that was a huge milestone, to be able to get and hit. And it just means that the podcast is getting into the hands of more people, that you guys are finding value in it, that people are going back and listening to old episodes, that the content is somewhat evergreen, meaning we don't just put out content that is only time sensitive and is only helpful or beneficial for a short period of time. But I'm really looking to put out content that stands the test of time and that someone could come upon you know, 2-3 years later and find value in going back and listening to old episodes. And so that's what that number represents to me, is that you are getting value out of this podcast, and that's exactly what I want. So that was a huge win in 2022, to double our downloads in a year when it took us what like 4 years to get to 1.7 million downloads and you know, now we're well on our way into the mid 3,000,000 downloads and we only have more exciting things about growing the podcast in 2023. So, thank you for being here. Thanks for being a loyal listener. Thank you for those of you who have left ratings and reviews on iTunes and Spotify and whatever platform it is that you're listening to. You help grow the podcast every time you share an episode. Every time you tell your friend about the podcast, every time you go on stories and say, “Oh my gosh, this podcast made me think differently.” Every time you'd like leave a rating or review those things add up and they matter and they help the podcast to grow. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being here and thank you for sharing the podcast and loving it as much as I do. 

Second achieved goal in 2022:Retirement Plan  11:13

OK, I think, oh another one that I did accomplish, one of the goals that my husband and I have had is developing some sort of, you know long term investment strategy. We are not getting any younger and we're kind of getting into that phase of life where we want to be serious about preparing and saving for our future and retirement and getting all of those ducks in a row. And that's been something that we've wanted to get implemented and in place. For a while now it's been something we've talked about for a lot of long time and haven't actually, did taking any action on and so that was one of my goals for this year was to actually move forward and get some groundwork in place so that we felt like OK, we have a plan for when we want to retire. We have a plan for are we going to be able to do that? Are we going to be able to save enough and I will say we actually just got back from a meeting with our financial adviser today and I'm feeling really good about where we're at. So we finally made that happen even though it is here the end of December, as I'm recording this podcast, but we did make that happen in 2022 and I'm excited about where we're going. 

Rekindle and build deep friendships 12:20

OK, I think. Oh no, there's one more. There is one more that I did, and so one of my goals at the beginning of the year was to rekindle a friendship. And I've had the pleasure of meeting lots and lots of people across the United States. We have moved almost every two years for most of our marriage, we've now been in our house in California for 5 1/2 years, but this is the longest we've ever lived anywhere for most of our married lives. My husband was in training and doing medical school and residency and fellowship and moving for attending ship and all these things. And we moved a lot across the United States, lived in a lot of different houses, apartments, States, places. We got to meet a lot of different people and one of the things I have not been very good at in the past is keeping in touch with some of those friends that we've made. And so one of my goals this year was to rekindle at least one of those friendships, to reach out and, and build the intentional, about building friendships. My husband was talking to one of his old friends and they sent him an article that was talking about how, as adults, sometimes we feel like friendships just happen. And if we don't have friendships, it's maybe just cuz it just hasn't happened to us yet. And it's, it's kind of this passive view of friendship. And they were making the argument that, especially as adults, it has to be an active, you have to be an active participant in it, like good friendships. Good deep friendships don't just happen, but it's something that you have to want and you have to work at and you have to put effort into making these deep friendships with other adults. And I mean, I think that is so true and I think it's really easy to not do that and then wonder, why don't I have the friendships that I want I would like to have, and that was kind of the place that I was getting to is looking at my life and saying, you know I have a lot of things, but one of the things I feel like I could have more of and that would bring more joy into my life would be more deep friendships with people and, and that's not just like hey, how's it going? But like those deep friendships where you feel like you can be real with someone and you can talk about what you're struggling with and you can actually, they can be there for you in those tough moments and I have a couple of people who I feel like are that for me and I wanted to add at least one more this year.

Third goal achieved in 2022: Deepen Friendships 14:38

And so that was kind of the impetus for me setting that goal, and I'm happy to say that I reached out to some people and started that process with a couple of people who I admire and, and have been, you know friends with in the past and and wanted to deepen that friendship with them further, and that's been a beautiful thing in, in my relationships, in being able to like I said be real with people and not have to dance around hard topics or feel like you can't show the real side of you because what will they think? And it's been, it's been really awesome and I, I am so grateful for the advent of so much technology that's you know able to connect people who are in different states in different time zones. And I've been relying on that technology to help me to strengthen those friendships. So anyway, I feel like that is a, is a really big check for me. And something that has deepened my, the joy that I have in my life. And that's something I want to bring into 2023 is to continue that effort, because I think it does require effort to make and develop and deepen those friendships because I think it just that's what makes us happy as those relationships that we have with other people. 

Don’t worry if you didn’t hit the goal 15:57

OK, so I think that's it on the goals that I actually like checked off of my list this year, so let's go to the some of the ones that I did not fulfill or check off my list. Now again, I don't feel any shame or I don't feel bad about not hitting these goals and, and we'll go through and talk about every single one of these goals that I set, caused me to do something different. It caused me to push myself. It caused me to, to make different choices. It caused me to push myself outside of my comfort zone and to me, that's the purpose of the goal. So as I go through these and I list the ones that I did not accomplish, none of these are a bust, none of these are like Oh my gosh, I'm so mad at myself for setting that goal. Or I'm such a loser because I didn't hit that goal. Every single one of them was like yeah I can you know I set that goal. I did some things differently, some of it worked, some of it didn't, and I'm proud of myself for pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. That is the purpose of goals in my opinion. 

Podcast Interview 16:50

OK, one of my goals for the year was to get interviewed on 24 podcasts and that was a big goal and I knew it was going to be a big goal and I was interviewed on 9 podcasts this year, which is not anywhere near the number that I would have liked it to be. But one of the things that I'm the most proud of, and I would like to carry into 2023 was that I pitched myself for two podcasts and was turned down. And the reason that that is a big deal to me, and the reason I'm looking at that as a win, is because oftentimes I'm somewhat intimidated to put myself out there. So I go, I will pitch myself a podcast. I'm pretty sure like they'll want to have me on versus pitching myself for a podcast where I'm like, I don't know if this person is going to, if they're gonna like me, or if they're gonna want me on or maybe it's a bigger platform or you know me over here with my 3,000,000 downloads. Feels like a lot to some, but it's like, you know, really small amount to other people so. So that was a big win for me is I was really proud of myself that I pitched to two people that turned me down and I think going into 2023 that's gonna be one of my goals. Like I, I should be getting turned down for podcasts pitches that should be part of the process. Now I don't wanna just like pitch to anybody, right? This is, there's some integrity with who you're pitching to. But I want to release some of that fear of like what if they don't? What if they say no? What if they don't? What if they don't want me? What if they don't like me and just go out and you know, say what I have to offer and if someone doesn't want it, then, then they can leave it. So, I did get interviewed for 9 podcasts. I was pitched two others that wasn't, that I wasn't on. So basically I did like 11 out of 24. So we're talking like under 50%. There's a lot of room for growth, but I'm proud of myself for the ones that I did get on and that will be something that I will continue in 2023 is trying to pitch myself for more things which you know how it feels. It feels scary to put yourself out there, but I always say that there's no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone. So if we want to grow, it means getting a little bit uncomfortable. And I'm willing to do that. 

Instagram 18:56

OK, in the realm of social media as well, one of my goals was to surpass 100,000 followers on Instagram and to get verified to get the little blue check mark. Neither of those things happened. We're in the realm of like almost 94,000 followers and no blue check mark is insight. And that's OK. That's something that I believe will happen at some point, and I'm not, I'm not pushing it, that's one of those ones just like I'm just going to keep showing up, I'm going to be putting my content out there and doing the best that I can to be able to serve. And you know those kind of things follow when you lead with service. That's what I, that's my, that's my view of things. OK, so, so did not do that. 

Hand-stand push ups 19:41

Other things that I did not do was five strict hand-stand-push-ups. I really should just this one needs to be like one-hand-stand-push-up because it is so hard for me that I like I worked a lot of the year on getting one-hand-stand-push-up and we are not two-one-stand-push-up, so 5 was probably a little bit lofty. But I did work at it. I did improve at it. I feel like my technique is better. I did some hand-stand push up programming to be able to work up to this, I'm not there yet. But I did work on it, so we'll consider that a, a work in progress. 

Coaching Certification 20:20

Another thing that I did not do, I wanted to take a, I wanted to be able to uplevel my coaching by taking some sort of coaching certification and I did not do that. I didn't do it. I thought about it. I thought about a couple of programs. Nothing felt quite right. Or like the timing was quite right and so I pushed it off. I'm looking back I don't know if that was just an easy way out. If that was just an excuse or if it wasn't really right. I don't know. Sometimes we can trick ourselves into being like, oh, it's just not the right time when in reality that's just an excuse for giving ourselves. So I will own that that I did not do it. It is something that I am, I am curious about in 2023, so maybe that will go on my 2023 goals. Not committing to it yet, but that is something that I did not accomplish this year. 

150 Coaches in Coaching Academy 21:07

Another goal that I, we had set was to train 150 coaches in Coaching Academy. So we have our Biceps After Babies Transformational Coach Certification and my goal was to have 150 coaches go through that program. We did not get 150 but we did get close to 100 so I feel really excited about that and honestly like, here's something that I always remind myself of, especially, and this is, this is really for some of those business owners out there when you're setting business schools like this, is that one of the most important things for me to remember is that I'm setting these things as metrics, as numbers, because what you don't measure can't grow, but I always remind myself like those are people, those are humans, those are individuals. Those are women who are coming and going through this process and getting transformed and then going out and transforming other people. And so I never, never want to forget that ripple effect that is created. These are not just numbers, these are humans. These are lives. These are people. And I had the privilege of being able to serve almost 100 women and teach them how to coach so that they can coach themselves better so that they can go and coach their friends and family and their clients better. And that is a huge impact on the world. And while again we set metrics because metrics are helpful in growth. I never want to lose sight of the fact that those metrics represent something and that is a person, and so for all of my Coaching Academy graduates, those of you who are coaching, who are not coaching, who are using it for yourself, your loved ones, your clients that I got to train in 2022, thank you for allowing me to be able to be a part of your journey and to be able to help support you to be a more effective coach. And I will put a little plug if you are interested in doing Coaching Academy in 2023, I highly recommend getting on the interest list. You can go to bicepsafterbabies.com/cert C-E-R-T and that's our interest list, where we maintain a list of people who are interested in Coaching Academy when we open it up again.

“Do less, do better.” 23:09

OK, the last thing that I have on my board that I haven't talked about yet and I thought I would kind of wrap up with this one because it was more of an overarching theme for the year. So some people said words for the year those are kind of really been my thing. I'm much more of like a concrete thinker like we need metrics, we need numbers, we need measuring and things like that. But one of the things that we did set in the business as one of our focuses for the year was the phrase “Do less, do better.” That was our goal going into 2022 was it's not always about doing more. It's not always about making it harder or doing more things. In fact, some of the best ways to elevate to grow is to focus your attention on only the essential things. Only the most important things, and so our goal going into 2022 was to do less and to do it better and I feel like in a lot of ways we have been able to step into that. There were a couple of things in the business that we ended up intentionally pulling back on and saying, hey, we're not gonna focus on that right now so that we can put our attention and focus over here. We did that very intentionally of saying we can't have our attention on everything, so this is gonna take a back burner for a little while. And we're going to put our attention over here. And you know, those are always hard to like kind of let go of some of the things and I'll, let me be more specific because I think for me specificity helps. One of the decisions that we made and, and this is in conflict with one of my earlier goals. So one of my goals I told you was to hit 100,000 on Instagram. But we saw an opportunity in growing on a new platform and so later a couple of months ago we got on TikTok and have been testing out that platform and, and building a community and putting content over on TikTok. And I realized we couldn't do it all. So we made the decision of even though I had set this goal for Instagram that we were gonna hit 100K, that we were gonna set that aside. And the purpose of Instagram would be to continue to show up. But that growth was no longer our goal. Our goal was really maintenance that was showing up for people who were already there engaging with those people, but it wasn't. Our push wasn't really like to gain more followers. Our push what to gain more followers was on TikTok and so that was an example of where we had to. I made a choice to divert our attention to one thing and to put something else on the back burner. Even though I had that goal right, I was able to say I had this goal. It's OK, things change. We're gonna put them on back burner. You know Instagram is kind of like on maintenance mode right now and we're gonna put some time and effort into TikTok and just see how it goes and see how that platform goes. 

Putting the time, energy and effort in the right direction 25:40

For those of you who are content creators or you want to peek behind the screen of a content creator, there's a lot that goes into creating free content for people. I think if you're not a content creator yourself, it can be really, it seems really easy. I don't know, you just put up some posts and you like, I don't know, do some stories and that's super easy, but there's a lot that goes into it, behind the scenes of coming up with ideas of filming those ideas, of editing those ideas, of creating copy or writing for those ideas, putting them up, engaging with people, answering questions, DM’s, right. It is a whole thing to be able to create free content for people on the Internet and it takes a lot of time and energy and effort, and so being really intentional about where we're putting that time and energy and effort is really important so that we don't burn everybody out. I don't burn out. My team doesn't burn out, my social media manager doesn't burn out, and being able to put our attention on the things you know, have a focus for the time, and that's not to say that TikTok is going to be our focus forever. But we took it for a quarter. We said for this quarter, our goal really is TikTok. It really is TikTok growth, we're gonna go all in. we're gonna see what we can do here and then we're gonna reevaluate and see where our time is best well spent. 

So that's just a really, you know, broken down example of this concept in action of doing less and doing better. And it's not the only example where we did this in the business. There were many times. Well, I shouldn't say many, but there are a couple of times I can think of specifically where as we were planning for different events or launches or experiences where we ask ourselves this question what what can we do without? You know, what have we maybe added in over the years that didn't really move the needle, that didn't really support people, that didn't really make a difference for people, but we're putting effort into it just because that's how we've always done it. And I always want to be reevaluating those things to make sure that I'm putting my effort towards things that actually move the needle, I think that's a great lesson for any of you guys to be taking home to be applying to your life is, “Am I doing these things just cuz it's way I've always done it or is it actually moving the needle? And how much of the time are you spending on things that make you feel like you're moving the needle versus things that are actually moving the needle. That's really applicable to any fitness goal at any goal that you're trying to achieve. A lot of times we get really caught up in the busy work. The things that aren't actually moving the needle but make us feel like we're being productive because we're busy and when we can pull back and say no what is actually moving the needle and how can I spend the majority of my time doing those things? That's when, when growth really starts to happen.

Let’s wrap up 28:18

OK, so that wraps up the review of 2022 and my goals. The things that went well, the things that didn't went well. Notice again the number of goals that I like checked off and the number of goals where I didn't hit my mark and that that's my goal. I I always feel like if I hit every single goal that I hit, that I set. I didn't set big enough goals. And so if you're doing a review of last year and you're looking at the goals that you set and you didn't hit all of them, it's OK. It doesn't mean you did terrible. It doesn't mean that you're a horrible, awful person and you're going to be successful. It can simply mean, hey, I set really big goals and then the question that you can ask after that is did I show up differently? And to me, that's, that's where the value of goals comes from. Is the push to have you show up differently, to have you become someone different, to have you reach a little bit higher and harder. I don't know that I would have reached out to those other those people, the podcast people that turn me down. I don't know if I would reach out to them if I hadn't set this goal. I actually probably would not have reached out to them, but I said this goal and I was like, hey, I'm committed to this so I'm gonna do something different and that, that to me is a win regardless of anybody says yes to me because I showed up differently and I did my part and that's all I can ever do is my part. 

Goals for 2023? 29:39

So what do we have coming up for 2023? I'm actually not going to record a goal episode right now about my 2023 goals for a couple reasons. One, I haven't sent them yet. I haven't. I haven't really thought about them, that's something I'll be doing in the, in the next you know upcoming weeks. But two, I'm considering doing something a little different with my goals this year and having one goal a month instead of setting them for the entire year. I haven't decided if that's how I'm going to do it and if I do, I'll maybe I'll do update podcast episode about that, but that's kind of what I'm thinking I might. I'm just gonna change it up a little bit this year, you know, try something new. So for that reason I'm not recording anything right now about those goals. I'll be thinking about them and kind of structuring how I want to do goals this next year, over the next couple of weeks and I will keep you updated on Instagram if you follow me over there. It's @bicepsafterbabies or on TikTok where I'm also bicepsafterbabies. I'm sure I'll be sharing it all the places so, that's it, that's that is 2022 my goals wrapped up some of the places where I achieved my goal, Some of the places where I didn't achieve my goals, but overall I'm super happy that I set goals. I think goals helped me to be able to grow, and that's what I'm here for and I have to imagine that's what you're here for as well. So that wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now, go out and be strong because remember, my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro 

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