334: Nutrition Tips For Postpartum Moms with Laura Schoenfeld, RD

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 334.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host Amber Brueseke and today I have my friend on the podcast, Lauren Schoenfeld, and she is talking about the transition that she made from being a business owner, not having any kids. And then the huge shift that happens when you then choose to have a child and how that really overhauled her life, overhauled her nutrition, overhauled her fitness. And you know, it just changes your life when you have a kid and have a baby. And I invited her on because I think a lot of women go through this shift of, um, changing in priorities of, you know, now having less time for themselves and talking about it and having some ideas of some tips and tricks to make it a little bit easier, I hope will be helpful for listeners. And Laura specifically talks about some of the nutrition tips that helped her to be able to heal in the postpartum period.  She talked about the shift from, away from changing our bodies into healing and nourishing our bodies. And I think all of us can learn a little bit from that and that shift of perspective of how can I nourish my body? How can I give it what it needs? How can I take really good care of it? And when we take really good care of our bodies, they take really good care of us. And so, I think this episode is going to be a great one, especially if you are in the pregnancy period, in the postpartum period, there's a lot of applicable things that I think will be helpful in helping you navigate those really important timeframes. Let's jump in the episode with Laura.  

Amber B 02:18 

All right. Welcome to the podcast, Laura. Thanks for being here.  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 02:21 

Thanks Amber, so happy to be here. I know I asked you, I was like, I'd love to be on your podcast like six months ago. And I'm really glad we were finally making it.  

Amber B 02:30 

At least. And I did tell you, I was, I was like, Hey, we have some stuff going on the podcast. I will circle back to you. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 02:36  

Yeah, no, honestly, I, you, when you circle back. I was like, Oh, she's, she's serious about us,  

Amber B 02:40 

I mean it. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD  02:42 

Big in integrity to her word. I was like, I even forgot I asked you,  

Amber B 02:46 

I meant it. Okay, cool. But I am excited about this, this interview. And we, we started talking before we hit recording. I was like, wait, save it for the episode. Cause this is going to be good. I can already tell because we're going to be talking about, uh, some important things and being a mom, being an entrepreneur, having a toddler, your own fitness stuff and your fitness journey and how all of those intermix together. And so I think it's going to be really good episode. But before we dive into any of the juicy content, just give my audience a little bit of an introduction to you and your work. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 03:16 

Yeah. Well, I'm Laura Schoenfeld. I'm sure you guys have heard that from the intro. And, um, I, my business historically was focused on nutrition, functional medicine, more of the health and primarily women's health, fertility, that kind of thing. And then I started dabbling in mentoring other business owners just for fun. Cause you know, I built a multi six figure nutrition business without having to work, you know, bazillion hours and, um, was able to charge high ticket for the programs I was selling. 

I think the highest I got before I switched to business coaching was like $4,500 for an initial program with me. So, um, that was something that I had built starting in. Like I technically got online in 2011 and then started actually seeing clients when I graduated with my master's degree and my registered dietitian license in early 2014. Um, and this was kind of back when like Instagram wasn't really a thing for business and nobody understood Facebook Ads. And a lot of the stuff you were doing was like blogging and podcasting and really that like long form content creation. And so, um, so I started mentoring a handful of other dietitians who had been following me for a while that were like, I just want to learn how to build a business and you know, you're the person that I want to learn from. 

So, in 2020, that was when I pretty much made the big pivot to focus on business coaching as my main focus, primarily because there was this huge opportunity to help so many people who no longer just wanted online businesses. It was like, Oh, I literally have to have an online business now because my in-person office just shut down or I lost my job or I'm furloughed or whatever. And so there was this massive demand for tell me how to do an online business. And so I switched over, um, officially closed my nutrition business in 2021 and have been doing, um, really business in general. It's, it's, as far as niching is concerned, I would say I mostly help people who are starting businesses, create high ticket one-on-one programs so that they can earn six figures with as few as six clients a week. So they have more of that like work life balance and they can sell those high-ticket programs. 

And then for the people who want to scale, um, helping them build the delivery and sales systems that help pull them out of the day-to-day operations of those business, um, needs and to really be able to operate as a CEO in their business and to design programs and sales mechanisms that work without them being on the computer 24/7. So I would say the theme of my work is that I help people create successful businesses that don't take over their lives. And, um, to really help them find that balance between having the financial success and having the impact they want to have and being able to have the life balance that they want, whatever that looks like for them. 

Amber B 05:59 

Yeah. And then you had this great idea to have a kid a couple of years ago. And how did that change everything?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 06:06 

Great idea. I will say in hindsight, I can say it was a great idea when it first happened. Uh, it was not necessarily super stoked about the, uh, the impending transition of motherhood. Um, I, so I had my daughter, I guess I had been in business out maybe for like eight years at that point. And so that I think the biggest challenge I ran into honestly was the fact that my business wasn't just a side hustle that I could take a break from, if that makes sense. I have, um, well, really my husband had left his teaching job in 2021, um, with the intention of helping as, you know, whether it's a full-time parent or, you know, large amount of time parenting so I could do my work. Um, so I was then the sole breadwinner. And then we also had team members, that we are paying as well as other expenses. And so, when I became a mom, I wasn't able to just be like, I'm just going to put my business on hold. And, you know, if nobody gets paid or we don't have any income, it's fine. Right. Yeah. So, um, so it is something where I think my experience was a little different, even, even if we're looking at people who have businesses that then have children in the sense that I built it to a level that it wasn't really something that could just pause for that long. 

I was able to take, I think like an eight-week maternity leave where I was just totally off, which I was actually really proud of myself for being able to, to accomplish that. Um, but having, having a daughter and like going through that baby to toddler transition, especially last year, she went from six months to 18 months last year. Like I think the hardest thing for me was really trying to balance all of the new stuff that I had to learn to be a mom, to just take care of this little human and learn all the things that changed like every month or two. Right. It's like, Oh, she's not sleeping. It's a sleep regression. Now I have to figure this out. And Oh, now she needs to be starting solids. And now we need to like potty train and all of the things that happen. And I think trying to balance all of that newness with also the industry I'm in, there's a lot of changes that happen. There's a lot of stuff that it seems like it moves really fast sometimes. And trying to keep up with that and trying to stay current with all the trends in marketing and business and everything that was probably the hardest part for me. Um, I feel like I'm really good at creating systems. I'm really great at designing things that can work without me. But I think the, I think the hardest transitional part was really just one being on this constant like trial by fire, fire learning experience. And then two, even just trying to like figure out who I was after becoming a mom, I'm sure most moms go through this where even if they don't work when they become a mom, you, you basically have to go through the motherhood transition and learn who you are now as a mother. And it's a big identity change for most women. And I think being a personal brand business and trying to do that without it being this like, Oh, I have to put everything on social media. I have to tell everybody what I'm going through. That, that was something that was a big challenge for me over the last year or two was just that, like, I feel like I'm becoming somebody different and I don't necessarily want to be bringing everybody in and telling everybody what's going on all the time. I kind of want to have a little bit of this like separation between my personal journey and this public business and persona, I guess is maybe what we call it. 

Um, so those, those things, what, what were, I think some of the harder challenges that I experienced becoming a mom, um, you know, other than just like, you know, the not sleeping and the postpartum recovery and all the things that like the breastfeeding and the mastitis and all this stuff that happens postpartum. Um, I think a lot of the mental changes and things that suddenly became a lot harder for me were, uh, things that I, I feel like I'm on the other side of now my daughter's almost two, but it really did take like a year and a half, almost two years to start feeling like, okay, I feel a little bit more grounded in who I am, what we're doing, how my brain works, what my time is like, how I need to take care of myself and all of that. So I don't even know what your original question was. I hope I answered it. This is the mom brain on display.  

Amber B 10:26 

That's really good. Um, one of the things that we were talking about before we hit record was the difference of, I started my business after I had my four kids, my youngest was two when I started my business. And so I've never had a business without kids, right? Like that's, I've always had to work around my kids’ schedule and I've always had that dual identity of like mom and entrepreneur. And you came up from a different perspective of like being an entrepreneur and being the full-time breadwinner of your family for, you know, years, years before you had a kid. And I just wonder what that transition was like for you as an entrepreneur, as someone who has this business and has had a lot of time to be able to build it without a kid. And then what that transition was like to then adding a kid to the mix.  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 11:08 

Yeah. I mean, I think the biggest thing that I've realized looking back that was a weird experience for me was when I started my business, I didn't even know my husband when I started my business. So I was single. I like lived in a townhouse in a city and you know, I basically had my entire schedule to do whatever I wanted with. Um, which, you know, for better or worse, that's nice. But I'm also, I would never trade what I have now for a free schedule. Um, but a lot of the stuff I was able to do came from the fact that I had plenty of time, energy and attention to put into it.  

Amber B 11:44 

Sure. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 11:45 

Um, so there was that. And then there was also the fact that I don't think I was anticipating how I was going to feel about my child. I, before I had her, I was very concerned. Like I never really was that into other people's children, babies in general. I was just like, eh, whatever, you know, I was kind of a little ambivalent about becoming a mom, but I knew, I kind of did that exercise where you look ahead to age like 70 and to think about what do I want my life to look like? And I was like, that would really suck to not have kids. At least for me, that's my personal experience. So I was like, okay, well I'm, you know, at the time I was 34 when I got pregnant and I was like, I got to start doing this soon because it's not like I have indefinite amount of time to have a child, you know, biological clock and all that. Um, but I think what I didn't really expect was when, when you don't have children, when you're running a business, I think that idea that your business is your baby is very true. You're like, my business is my baby. It's the thing that's most important to me. It's, you know, like, and I know people say that all the time, but then when I had an actual baby, I kind of had this weird feeling of like my business is not my baby. My business is just a business and not that I don't love my clients. I don't, you know, it's not like I all of a sudden started phoning it in or something or not caring. It was just kind of this, this experience of going from my main focus outside of my marriage and friendships is this business. And it's the thing I put the most time and energy into basically throughout the week. And I really felt like it was my baby. And so having that, that shift and having that huge emotional redirection of being like, no, this is my baby. And this is actually the thing that's most important to me in my life right now. 

I did have to kind of re reorient myself to how do I keep showing up for this business the way that the business needs me to when I don't have this like natural burning, like I gotta do it. I'm so passionate about it. Right. It was kind of like, yeah, I like this, but like, it's not, but it's not the same anymore because now I know what an actual baby feels like. And so that was something that I think I'm still figuring out exactly what that looks like. I think right now it's a little harder because I'm starting to feel more normal again and I'm starting to like get more excited about the business. But we do plan to have more children. So it's one of these things where I'm like, all right, how is this going to look when we have more because I've heard some things about going from one to two or two to three. But all of that to say that was just, it was, it was basically trying to figure out how do you keep showing up for something, whether it's my own personal wellbeing, my business, the things that I used to be so focused on when I am just like, even when I'm not with my child, like thinking about her or if I hear her cry, like my brain literally immediately starts thinking, is she okay? Maybe I should go to her. And so, um, I don't, I don't know how many people have that experience because again, if you have your, your baby's first, maybe you never have that experience where you feel like your business is your baby. Right. And so I think there is this feeling of, I need to learn how to run this business without it, without having to feel like I have to mother it. Right. And so, um, which I think over the long run will actually be really valuable. It's just, it is a, that's honestly one of the biggest changes that happened for me is this feeling of like, Oh no, I don't, I don't have this just burning desire to be doing my business all day anymore. And you know, and it's hard because as a business coach, you see other business coaches who don't have children and you're like, wow, they're, they're really prolific. They're doing a lot of stuff for their business and you kind of have to be okay with the fact that they're in a different life situation. And, um, and for me, I just always think, okay, well, how do I do it with my business not being my number one, um, focus. 

Amber B 15:46 

Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of women can relate. And a lot of mothers can relate to that shift in priorities and really feeling that shift. And what was quite, what was really important in your twenties, maybe not being as important in your thirties. It was, you know, when you start having kids and that, that shift is, is, is important and, and can be, you know, uprooting as well on someone. Um, so you're a dietitian. And so I love to talk to you a little bit about nutrition and about how you experience the changes through pregnancy with your nutrition. And then also now having a toddler and having less time probably to be able to focus on those things. It's like, how have you been able to balance some of the knowledge that you have as, as being a dietitian, and healthy eating? And then the reality of what it actually looks like as you went through pregnancy, postpartum and, and now, because I think sometimes, uh, it's really easy to like, be like, yes, you should always just like eat super healthy. And then you get into the trenches and you're like, okay, this is actually harder than I thought it was going to be. What was your experience? 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 16:48 

Well, I will say the good news for me as I broke that, uh, maybe tendency towards orthorexic behavior well before I had a child. So, um, I think, and not to say that wanting to eat healthy is necessarily orthorexic, but I was definitely, um, way more obsessed about it when I was in my early to mid twenties. And so. 

Amber B 17:08 

Will you define orthorexia for someone who's listening? Who has no idea?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 17:13 

Yeah. Orthorexia is, I don't think it's an official eating disorder diagnosis, but it is a, it's basically an unhealthy obsession with, uh, correct eating. So ortho in Latin, I think means correct. So it's not, it's yes, it's healthy, but it's almost becomes this, like I have to eat the right way and there's a wrong way. And if I eat this, I'm bad. And if I don't eat this, I'm good. You know? So it becomes way more than just wanting to take care of your body. It actually becomes very much like, uh, disruptive to your life. 

And again, I don't think I ever got to a point where I was like an actual eating disorder, but I definitely was, um, into things like paleo or whole 30 or, and not, and again, no shame. If that's what you do. But for me, it was very much, um, role based. And it was like, oh, I'm hungry, but I can't have dairy. So, I'm going to eat almonds, but I'm going to eat like a bag of almonds and then have a stomachache because I'm not allowed to eat anything else cause I'm doing paleo right now. So that's the kind of thing that I was experiencing in my early twenties. 

So, um, and also the fact that I really focused on fertility in my later few years of business, a big part of what I helped people with was actually getting them out of that food obsession and, um, overly restrictive eating so that they could actually get pregnant and that they could have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy postpartum. So, in a weird way, I think a lot of what could have caused problems in my pregnancy was dealt with before I even remotely got pregnant. Um, my big focus for pregnancy and postpartum was healing or like nourishing my baby and healing my body postpartum. So, I never was worried about, oh, I have to eat perfectly. I have to eat so healthy. A lot of times it was like, am I getting enough to eat? Am I getting the protein that I need? Am I getting generally nutrient dense foods? Do you know, am I taking my prenatal vitamins consistently doing that kind of stuff? Um, getting the minerals in fluids, all the stuff that I knew my body needed to create this human inside of me. 

Um, and then postpartum really being very mindful that, um, it's, even if you have a natural childbirth, which is what I had, you're still recovering as if it's like a major surgery, right? Like you literally lose an entire organ when you give birth. So, it is something where I always looked at postpartum as I need to heal and restore my body and recover postpartum. So, mindset wise for taking care of myself, it was never about, oh, I'm like, I have to eat perfectly. And if I don't, then I'm screwing up. It was all about how do I help my body recover as quickly as possible while also letting it have its time that it needs. Um, and I think a big reason for that on top of just the nutrition knowledge is the fact that I wanted to be able to show up for my business without totally like burning myself out and trashing my mental health. 

And so, I'm focusing on food like nutrient density and adequate intake and not being stressed about food was something that I had intended on since before I had children. So, um, so for me, it's I definitely have a very different approach to nutrition than some other nutritionists or dietitians might. But, um, but I think it's served me well as far as, you know, even if I am a little heavier than I was pre baby or I'm not as in shape as I used to be, I used to be, you know, a little fitter as far as strength and stuff is concerned. 

I am very happy with how I have recovered and the fact that I don't have a lot of the problems that a lot of women run into postpartum, um, because I would, I was very intentional about not overdoing it, not trying to get back into exercise too fast, focusing on rehab type of stuff and really looking at nutrition as my body needs to actually rebuild itself and not, Oh, I need to like lose my baby weight right away.  

Amber B 21:14 

Were you, if you're willing to like get into any specifics for someone who is like, yes, that sounds exactly what I want to do. I want to take that time. I want to make sure I'm nourishing my body, especially in that postpartum period. Do you have any specifics for things that you really focused on that really helped you feel like you were able to heal yourself and able to get back to feeling more normal postpartum?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 21:34 

Mm hmm. Yeah. So, um, coming from more of that like paleo ancestral health background, a lot of what I focused on was, um, a lot of animal foods, honestly, a lot of full fat, like very, uh, tend the knee collagenous, I guess is the word type of animal food. So things like, um, oxtail as an example, I did this like big batch cooking of oxtail stew before, uh, getting or giving birth so that I could just like have that when I was, um, eating meals after having the baby. Um, so, you know, looking at, okay, if I want to repair connective tissue, literally eating connective tissue, um, there are a few nutrients that are especially important for healing from wounds in general. 

But, you know, I think people forget that when your placenta is delivered, you have literally an open wound, the size of a dinner plate in your uterus that has to close up. And so, um, you know, things like vitamin A, um, vitamin C, like all of those vitamins that actually affect wound healing and, and, uh, cell turnover, that kind of stuff was, whether it was food or supplements, um, really important to me that I was having that kind of stuff, um, fluids, but not just water, but making sure I was doing, um, a lot of electrolytes and minerals. So, uh, I think especially with breastfeeding, there's so much of an increased demand for fluids, both in pregnancy and postpartum. 

And I think a lot of women get very dehydrated because they either are not drinking water or they're drinking plain water, which does not hydrate you the same as, um, electrolyte and mineral rich water does. So, you know, just making sure I was keeping up with both volume and, uh, electrolyte content of fluids, um, doing a lot of broths, which my daughter was born literally on the first day of summer. So a lot of these like stews and broths and stuff wouldn't have been stuff that I was naturally interested in eating, but I made it a point to include them postpartum. 

Um, and just like eating when I was hungry, which was a lot, I think I was really more hungry postpartum than it was during pregnancy. Um, and not having any sort of like, Oh, I just ate, I shouldn't be eating now. It was just being like, if I'm hungry, I'm eating. And it wasn't like I was going and having a candy bar necessarily. But, um, even if it was just like a cheese stick or something where it was a convenience food, but it was calories, that would be something that I would make sure I was doing because it does take energy not only to breastfeed, but also to repair the organs from the actual birthing experience. So, um, so the, I mean, there's probably other stuff that I did. 

I mean, even before having the actual delivery, uh, there's some herbal stuff that can help a lot with, um, hormones and uterine toning and all of that. So I did a lot of these like herbal tinctures and stuff that were safe for pregnancy and everything leading up to the birth process. So a lot of these herbal, um, infusions or tinctures have a lot of minerals in them and all of that. So really just looking for nutrient density as well as adequate calories and macros to focus on healing and recovering my body versus trying to change it postpartum.  

Amber B 24:59 

I think it's such a, I mean, it's such a paradigm shift, right? I'm like healing your body versus changing your body. I mean, it's like, it was like one is like caring for nourishing, like making sure it has everything it needs versus like trying to constrict or restrict or shift it into what you want it to be. I see that shift is such a beautiful one for that postpartum period, especially, although I would argue we probably should always be like if we,  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 25:23 

Yeah. 

Amber B 25:24 

That, that mentality all the time, it probably would be better for us as well.  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 25:27 

Yeah. Well, and it was funny cause I know a lot of women will just like drop a lot of weight while breastfeeding. I did not lose much weight. I think I might've lost like, I think I gained 40 pounds during pregnancy ish and I might've lost like 20 of that within the first few months postpartum, but it really wasn't until I stopped breastfeeding that I got closer to what my pre pregnancy weight was, which I'm still not even there. And I don't know if I even care at this moment to try to get back there until we're done having kids. Um, but it is something where I do think women are constantly told that they should go back to the way they were or bounce back or, you know, and all that. 

And it's like, yeah, I mean, I, I want to recover postpartum, but it's not, Oh, I should have the same body I had before I got pregnant. It's, you know, what does my body need now in this new phase of life with very different needs and, um, you know, not trying to rush the process because even with the fitness piece, just the amount of time it took to even be able to work out in a comfortable way again was like months. And so I had to just be okay with the fact that this is going to take time and it will go back to some level of normal, maybe not exactly what it was pre baby, but, um, I really just had to trust that my body would restore its normal functioning. Um, as long as I was giving it the building blocks and the rest that it needed to do that.  

Amber B 26:50 

Yeah. So good. I would love to dive into this idea of a busy working mom trying to figure out how to make it all happen, right? You have the, you have the work, you have your kid, then you also have self-care, your own, you know, nutrition and fitness and trying to have all those balls stay up in the air can feel really daunting to a lot of women. And so are there any tips or strategies or tricks that you have found that have worked for you to be able to keep the balls for the business up in the air, keep the balls for the parenting up in the air, and then also have that time for Laura, like that self-care time, as well as, you know, healthy nutrition and that exercise. Like how are you finding a way to be able to balance those?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 27:33 

Yeah. So, I mean, I have to admit that the biggest thing I think is my husband and our relationship and how we act as partners in parenthood. I think unfortunately a lot of women are doing a lot a hundred percent on their own or like 90% on their own. I've seen some horror stories in like the mom groups I'm in on Facebook where it's like, my husband won't even change a diaper.  

So my husband has been very much a partner in having a child since day one. So I really, since pregnancy day one. So it's, um, I don't, I don't think I can talk about what I do without that context because I think having an involved and very much like partner, partner, and not just a, Oh yeah, I'm here for you. But like you got it. Right. Um, and I will say I'm pretty aggressive about advocating for myself. So, um, I don't, a lot of the stuff my husband does isn't necessarily stuff that he just did on his own accord. A lot of it has come from a lot of conversations and a lot of me asking for what I need.  

So I think, you know, with a marriage or a partnership when you have another person who's in the picture with the parenting situation, not being afraid to actually have conversations with your partner about what you need, even if it's just, Hey, I need one, one morning a week to sleep in or I need you to like hang out with the kids while I go to the gym or whatever. Right. It's just asking for that. Um, and I've even noticed sometimes I have a hard time asking for more than I think I really need as far as things like time to work out or time to socialize, that kind of thing. 

Um, and my husband is, he'll be like, you know, I would be happy to, to do the baby care stuff. If you wanted to go out with friends or if you wanted to like add a yoga class or something. So sometimes I, even though I'm very focused on making sure I'm getting my needs met when it comes to anything that I feel like is like beyond what I need, sometimes that can feel a little hard for me. So, um, so I say this to say our marriage is not perfect or anything, but I know that if my husband was not supportive, this would be a totally different conversation. Um, I think something that I've really learned as an entrepreneur that's, I think applied very well to being a toddler or baby mom, um, is the concept of minimum viable product  

Amber B 29:53 

Oh yeah. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 29:54 

And this, this idea of like, what's the least amount I can do to get what I need. So even right now, I, right now I'm lifting once a week. I go, I have a personal trainer I've worked with for like eight plus years now. I drive 35 minutes each way to get there cause he is in a where we used to live. So, you know, it's like a two hour, two and a half, maybe even three-hour chunk of time. But it's my once a week very intentional workout where, um, I feel like because of the way I train, it is actually working really well even with just that once per week frequency. I think ideally I'd like to do two to three, but again, minimum viable product. I'm actually really surprised to see how much strength, uh, how much strength I've recovered compared to how strong I was before getting pregnant, just training once a week. 

So I think sometimes people think, Oh, I have to train like four or five, six, seven days a week to be fit. And I'm kind of in this experimental phase to say how, what's the least amount.  

Amber B 31:00 

So least amount to do. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 31:01 

I can like, yeah, can I get away with once a week? I think so. Like maybe twice a week would be optimal, but like once a week is working pretty well. Um, and then I also look for ways to combine activity with the things that need to be done. So we, we take our daughter out on walks, like ideally once a day, sometimes twice, sometimes we've done three times a day where, you know, we're taking her and the dog out. Um, so being able to just get outside and walk, walking is something that I'm pretty consistent about doing as long as the weather is conducive. 

Amber B 31:33 

Yeah. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 31:34 

Um, and then, you know, even just being a mom of a, she's pretty rambunctious toddler, half the time, like just playing with her as a workout, right? Like lifting her up. She's, she's quite a large, almost two-year-old. She's like 99 percentile for height and like 89 for weight. So, um, so she's, she's definitely a progressive overload is what we're doing with lifting her. So I think like also just looking at that kind of stuff as that is exercise. It's not like I have to go work out formally to get exercise. 

It can be running around with my daughter in the backyard or, you know, doing some rough housing with her where I'm picking her up or, you know, carrying her up the stairs is like a pretty significant load. So, um, so I think just letting myself, first of all, let enough be enough and not putting these arbitrary standards on what I should be doing or shouldn't be doing, but then also seeing different ways that healthy activity or, you know, just healthy like personal care and that kind of stuff can actually just be integrated into day-to-day life as opposed to feeling like it has to be this carved out time where it's like, this is my workout. This is my self-care time. Like half the time my self-care time is just like watching a cartoon with my daughter. You know, it's like, we're just sitting on the couch, snuggling a little bit and it's like, that fills my cup. And so, it's not like I have to remove myself from parenting to take care of myself every single day. I think looking for, um, ways to incorporate it.  

And then the flip side of that is also aiming to create a lifestyle that doesn't need so much self-care, which maybe sounds a little weird, but the business model that I run is something that is so different than what I think a lot of, if you work a lot of what, um, like a nine to five job would create where you're like getting out of the house at 7:30 in the morning and you're rushing your kids to daycare and you have like 30 minutes for a lunch and you get home at five and now you have to go straight to dinner. Like I've created a schedule where, like I typically don't work on Fridays very much. If at all, Friday mornings are my, my three-hour block of going to the gym. Um, and then I also will take like an hour off in the middle of the day or I'll have like an hour lunch break and then go on a walk or something. And so that's another big piece is aiming to create responsibilities and day to day lifestyle habits that don't require this like elaborate, massive self-care routine to recover from. 

So that's a big part of it as well. And that's, you know, I've, I've made the conscious decision to not necessarily try to grow my business at all costs because I know that there are certain things that if I were to go do that, it would create burnout. It would create overwhelm. It would create not enough bandwidth for me to feel good on a day-to-day basis. So, I've been intentional about not adding more work to my plate or not like working long hours or anything like that. Because again, if that was how I was setting up my business, I would probably need a lot more self-care to function. And I just don't want to create a lifestyle that then requires all of this extra time to recover from it.  

Amber B 35:00 

Recover from. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard it say like, you know, create a life that you don't need a break from. It's like, that's the ideal. It's like if you can just enjoy your life and it's not something that where you're go, go, go and hard, hard, hard. And have to have a recovery from, like that's kind of the ideal of both worlds. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 35:18 

Yeah.  

Amber B 35:19 

Which is really good. Um, has there been anything that you have realized in the last couple of years? I just think about that transition from like not having a kid to having a kid and how so many of us were like way smarter about parenthood and childhood and like having a kid and doing a business before we have that. And then you get into it like, Oh crap. I, I didn't really realize some of these things. Was there anything that you feel like you have learned, um, that was different from what you expected when you got pregnant and went through that process?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 35:52 

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of expectations around what I think things should look like that don't end up always matching that for better or worse. Honestly, I think I can think of at least a number of things that I had in my mind that this is the way it's going to be. And then it wasn't that way, but both on a positive and a negative side of the spectrum. So as an example, I was like, I am going to breastfeed for 12 months. And if she wants to go longer than that, we'll go longer than that. And I just had this belief that that would be, of course, like that's what we'll do. And my daughter self-weaned at nine months. She just like lost interest. And so I, and this is probably something I'll do differently in the future. I had it in my head that I said I was going to go to 12 months, and you know, we have a mutual coach that is very big into, uh, integrity. So I was like, I'm going to be an integrity to my word. I said I was going to do this. So then I ended up pumping for the last three months. And by the end of it, I think I was pumping like an ounce ounces a day, not even per pump session. So, in the future, I think I would probably be a lot less, um, rigid about that kind of stuff because you know, if my daughter doesn't want to breastfeed, do I have to like try to just drag it out because I made some arbitrary decision. Um, but I also think there is benefit to having intentionality about stuff, right? So I'm not saying don't be intentional, but I think like being willing to change your plan, if stuff isn't going the way that you expected, um, that was really important. 

And then I also definitely did not expect to love being a mom so much. I had a lot of apprehension about becoming a mom. I really didn't know how I would like it. I was like, you know, just how I felt about other people's children. I know it sounds terrible, but I just wasn't like not that into other people's children. Um, I just wasn't sure. And so that was a big surprise to me.  

Amber B 37:50 

Yeah. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 37:50 

I wasn't like instantly in love with my baby the minute she came out, but over time it grew into something where I was like, wow, I'm actually really surprised how much I love being a mom and how happy I am that I did this. And so that was kind of the other side of things where I was so worried about how this was going to affect my business and the things that really, like I cared about along, you know, that, that side of things. 

And I was pleasantly surprised to see that first of all, how I feel about my daughter is a lot of motivation for being able to show up when I'm tired and being able to do things, even when, you know, I didn't sleep well or, um, I, you know, I have to breastfeed or whatever, but I think it's, it's kind of going back to that thing I said before about, I used to feel like my business was my baby. I think that change that I wasn't necessarily able to conceptualize. Um, it's just really changed how I show up day to day and what I, what I think is important to spend my time doing. 

So what I think that allows me to do is not take the business so seriously. Of course I want to serve my clients.  

Amber B 39:00 

Yeah. Of course. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 39:00 

Of course I want to deliver on the things I promise. Like, you know, I'm very, I'm very committed to excellent service provision. Um, but I think I just, I don't know. I think I just like don't care as much about all of these huge goals and you know, Oh, I got to get to this revenue amount and all of that because it's like, you know what? Yeah, that would be cool. But it doesn't matter that much. Like it really doesn't matter. And I would much rather look back on this time in my life and say, I got to spend so much quality time with my daughter and I actually got to show up and be in a healthy mental state with her because I wasn't stressed out on my mind about my business or constantly feeling FOMO because, Oh my gosh, look at all these other people doing so much more money than me. 

And so that's something that I think, um, definitely wasn't expected, but I'm glad that that's how it's playing out because I think, um, there could have been a different direction I took where adding a child to the business mix could have actually really been, um, pretty damaging. And so, you know, I'm sure things will look different in a few years. I know kids change a lot and a two year old is very different than a five year old, which is very different than a 10 year old. But, um, I'm hoping that I can consistently maintain this feeling of, okay, I know what my priorities are. I know my minimum viable product when it comes to the things I need to do and the things that are required for me to take care of myself, my family, my business. And if I want to do more, great, but I don't have to put this like arbitrary pressure on myself to do more in any of those areas, just because that's what other people think is important or that's what other people are presenting on social media as the dream. 

Amber B 40:42 

Yeah. Yeah. I think motherhood gives you a new perspective and a new idea about priorities. And I think that, I think most of us feel that of like, what was important pre-kids maybe is not quite as important than the size of business or the whatever is maybe not as important as like spending this time with, with your kid. And I think, um, having that shift is, is really an awesome, an awesome way to live a whole life, right. A whole life. And maybe not just what, where we define success by one little measure, uh, when it comes to your business, what advice do you have for moms who are in it right now, whether that's like the postpartum period or a hard pregnancy or the toddler phase, right. Some of these phases that you've gone through, like, and they are struggling and they are in it. Do you have any advice or tips that have maybe helped you kind of make it through some of those hard phases that you've been through?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 41:35 

Hmm. I mean, I definitely think getting help as much as possible. I know everyone's in different circumstances when it comes to what's available for them, but I am very unashamed to hire a housekeeper or to ask my husband to take over cooking dinner or, you know, to ask my parents to come babysit when we need a break, even if we just need to like have some quiet time, you know? So, um, whatever that looks like being very, uh, unapologetic about asking for help. Um, and sometimes it it's literally the physical help because I was mentioning before a lot of what I did to prepare for postpartum and during postpartum was because I saw so many people in my nutrition practice having that total, like just breakdown of physical and mental wellbeing because they were not actually taking care of themselves. And there's so many hormone changes. There's so many things that happen that it's very easy to not take care of yourself. 

So honestly, the way that our society is set up, it's actually set up so that women are not being taken care of postpartum like at all. So this isn't to be like wagging my finger at anyone. This is literally saying like, you're actually set up for failure in our society as a mom postpartum. So really if you know how to do it yourself, like I did then like make the priority. And if you don't know how to do it yourself, then get help with it because I am very, I'm a very big believer that the way we take care of our bodies actually massively affects the way that our brains and our emotions function.  

Amber B 43:11 

Sure. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 43:12 

Um, so, you know, that's kind of like square one, just make sure your body is actually being taken care of. And if you need help with that, like ask for help. Um, and then I think, I mean, I, I feel a little silly saying this cause like, I guess technically I'm still in it and it's not like I've been doing this so long. So I don't want to come across as being like, I know what I'm doing.  

Amber B 43:33 

Yeah. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 43:34 

Um, but I think for me, I think a lot of it comes down to being intentional about my choices. And if I'm choosing to do something, really owning it. So even just the fact that I chose to have children, that was a choice that I made. And owning that choice is, you know, just something that helps keep me focused on, okay, what, what did I make the decision to do? And what did I, what trade-offs did I choose alongside that choice? So rather than falling into that like victim mentality of like, Oh, everything's terrible and it's all happening to me and all of that. Um, but then even moving forward, choosing what's important. So again, that's kind of that goes back to what I was saying before about maybe looking at my business and saying, you know what, maybe this isn't the time that I need to be focused on growing right now. 

And that intentional choice then creates a lot more breathing room for me to not be losing my ish when, uh, you know, stuff's happening because you don't have any control over toddlers, right. Or babies. Like if a baby is going through a sleep regression, you can't control that. If a toddler is toddler-ing, like my daughter is getting into that kind of like two year old, um, vibe. And so I can't control that. So the things I can control, like how much work I'm doing in my business or how much I'm pushing myself to reach these goals, like fitness goals or money goals or anything like that, that's what I have control over. 

So I get to choose what, where I put my attention and my energy. And I also get to choose to not feel guilty or feel less than if I make a decision, that means I'm not competing with other people or, you know, maybe hitting the things that I see other people hitting as far as like, you know, I know people that are very fit postpartum, they have like their six pack abs again. And I'm like, you know what? Cool for them. That's not something I'm working on right now. You know, or the people who are like, Oh, when I had my baby, my business finally hit seven figures. And it's like, that's awesome. I'm so glad that that happened. And it's okay that it's not something that is happening for me. So I think for me, um, I think, I think a lot of women beyond just the physical recovery postpartum, that is so hard when you're just doing it the way that our society has women do it. 

I think it's also all of this pressure that women put on themselves to like do it all and to compete. And I say compete, like keep up with the Joneses, like compete with their mom friends as far as like, Oh my, my friend got back into CrossFit six weeks after she had her baby. Like, I should be doing that. Right. It's that like, I need to keep up with other people kind of, um, belief system that then ends up causing us to override our own intuition about what, what we actually need in this season of life. And so that honestly would be my best advice is to kind of like, just shut off any sort of external pressures that you're feeling about what your life should look like, what your time should be spent doing, how you should be working out, how you should be eating, how you should be approaching your career, all of that. And just really tap into like, what do you want and need right now and trust that other things can come later and that your life is not going to be this way forever. Like the kids will get older, they'll get the diapers off, they'll sleep in their own bed. Right. 

Like that will happen and just being okay with doing what you need to do in this season of life for you to be happy and well taken care of. And to be able to actually enjoy what I think as somebody who has older kids, is probably in hindsight, a short phase of life and one that sometimes I don't know if you ever, I know we've talked about this before. I don't know if you miss any of your children being toddlers, but. 

Amber B 47:22 

I don’t. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 47:23 

All like occasionally all occasion you had four. So I would imagine four is a little different than one, but I sometimes I'll have this moment where I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm probably going to miss this when this is over. So it's making sure I'm not just trying to like bulldoze my way through a hard season of life because there are parts of it that I think will be things that I miss in the future. And I don't want to, I don't want to feel like I missed it because I was so focused on what I thought other people wanted me to be doing in my life. 

Amber B 47:53 

So good. Yeah. There are great things about the toddler phase and I would not go back. I just like older kids. I just have realized this about myself. I think everybody has the phase of like kid childhood that they like love and some people love the baby stage. I just like teenagers. Just give me someone who can like talk to me and like have a conversation and like tell me what they want.  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 48:14 

Yeah. Well, I have no experience to say what I will like, but it is the, uh, the mispronunciation of words and, uh, you know, just the wonder of, Oh my gosh, it's a bird. It's a bird. Like just how exciting life is. 

Amber B 48:28 

Yes. Well, and I think what is really great is there are great things about every stage, right? And just like, and there are hard things about every stage. Both are true. Uh, can you find the good things about whatever stage it is that you're in? You know, there are good things about every single stage, even the baby stage when you're being woken up, you know, those baby snuggles or there's nothing like it. So I think that's a good, a good life lesson. All right. This has been fun. Laura, where can people find you if they're wanting to connect and learn from you?  

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 48:57 

Yeah. Well, I have Instagram as my main, like where I show up regularly on the internet. So, uh, that's Laura Schoenfeld RD. And, um, I guess technically I have two websites, but if you go to Laura Schoenfeld RD.com, that's where a lot of my blogs and podcasts and different ways of working with me are hosted.  

Amber B 49:18 

Awesome. We'll link all of that up in the show notes as well, so that you can go and connect out with, with Laura and, um, go follow her on Instagram. Awesome. This has been so fun. Thanks Laura for coming on. 

Laura Schoenfeld, RD 49:28 

Yeah. Thank you for having me, Amber.  

Amber B 49:30 

I hope that was a helpful episode, especially if you are a new mom in that postpartum period, or maybe you're pregnant and you're getting ready for that postpartum period. It is, it is something to prepare for. And a lot of the things that Laura said, I think will hit home for women in that, in that phase of life. And hopefully some of her tips and advice give you some insight and things to think on and chew on and get ready for either what's to come or maybe what you're currently going through. 

That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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