314: “I’ve Tried Everything and Can’t Lose Weight” Isn’t True with Brad Bizjack

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 314.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and boy, do I have a fantastic podcast episode for you today. I’ve brought into the podcast my good friend Brad Bizjack, and as I mentioned, when I start interviewing him, he is one of very few males that I've had on the podcast today, but once you listen to this episode, you are going to know exactly why I wanted to bring him on today. His ability to be able to take seemingly ethereal concepts and really bring them down, make them concise and clear and actionable is unparalleled and he is so good at what he does in helping people to achieve whatever goals it is that they have set for themselves. And so we get into a conversation today talking about limiting beliefs, about what you're telling yourself and how that is impacting the results that you're getting.

And Brad does a fantastic job of really walking you through how do we start to recognize those beliefs, how are they showing up for us in our lives and then the most important part of the, the juiciest part that so many people want to understand and know is how do we shift them? How do we get into a place of possibility? How do we reach for our goals that are big and hairy and scary? And what are some tangible aspects of things that we can start doing today to be able to reach those, you know those goals that we've set for ourselves, whether they're money, goals, business goals, health and fitness goals, any type of goals. Things that you learn in this podcast are going to be incredibly helpful. And I just have to say, as someone who knows Brad personally, Brad absolutely walks the walk. He doesn't just talk the talk, he walks at himself and we make a joke that I call him a golden retriever because his ability to stay high vibe and his ability to be able to create in his life is amazing. I've been able to watch him be super successful and he shares a lot of those secrets today on the podcast. And so if you are somebody who wants something more out of life, if you are somebody who has goals or dreams or aspirations, and maybe there's a part of you that doesn't know if you can achieve it, that doesn't know if you are able to lose the weight or able to make the business or able to grow  in your company. The things that you’ll learn today are going to be so incredibly valuable. So without further ado, let's jump into this conversation with Brad.  

Amber B 03:19 

Welcome to the podcast, my good friend Brad Bizjack. Hey, Brad, how are you doing?  

Brad Bizjack 03:25 

What's up, my friend? How’re you doing here? I’m super excited to be here. 

Amber B 03:28 

I'm very excited to share you with my audience. Did you know that I have very few males on the podcast. 

Brad Bizjack 03:32 

It is a privilege. 

Amber B 03:34 

And actually think you're like the third male. I've had my husband on. I've had James on. And I think you’re the third guy I've ever had on. This will be a fun conversation, but I wanted to bring Brad on because he like while we're in different spaces, we talk about some of the similar things when it comes to mindset and he has such a great perspective and a great ability to be able to talk and teach on some of this stuff and so I wanted him on to come and kind of overlap our worlds a little bit and share his expertise. So, Brad, start us off. Do a little bit of an introduction and you know what's your story? What makes you an expert in what you talk about? 

Brad Bizjack 04:15 

Yeah, this is such a, it's fun to look back on this. I can imagine that anyone listening to this has limiting beliefs and fears that they're going through right now, and I had a lot myself, especially around money, myself worth, not being enough. All of those things. And I started off on this mindset journey when I was $92,000 in debt graduating college. That was where I was and I really wanted financial freedom. That was my personal goal at the time was financial freedom. And if I'm being totally honest, though, what I really wanted was to be the breaking point of mediocrity and my family history, right? I wanted to outrun my past that I found business that was my vehicle for transformational change and I was trying to go after it and nothing was working. I was getting in my head. Why isn't this happening for me? Like something must be wrong with me. Oh, it's easier for them. They have an easier situation. They have more time. Right now, I would start to get in my head and nothing seemed to work even though I was doing the right things right.  

And I think a lot of people can relate to that on their health and this journey is they're doing the right things, but doesn't seem to be working for them even though it's working for everyone else, but it took other people success to mean my failure. And I would get in my head and I'd find myself in this depressed states on the couch, binge eating microwave nachos and downing a bottle of wine at 2:00 PM feeling sorry for myself and then I would slip into this feeling of depression. And then I would get angry at myself for being depressed and it would just continue over and over again and my mentor told me, dude, you need a mindset coach because what you're doing right now, it's not working. I'm like, I can't afford a mindset coach, I'm $92,000 in debt. There's no way I can do that. And she said, Brad, if nothing changes, nothing changes. So I remember I put it all on a credit card. Hired a coach and on our very first call, she said something that transformed my life forever and it's guided me to this day. And I was telling her how I'm doing all the same things as everyone else. Why isn't it working for me? It's working for all of them. 

 I'm reading the books, I'm doing the strategies, I'm working hard at this, and she said, Brad, you're so attached to success that you're missing the whole point. You're under the impression that you shouldn't be where you are right now, she said. Success is not going to make you happy. It's your happiness and rewiring your mind to come from that place that will lead you to success, and at that stage of my life I was resenting all of these things around me that were secretly gifts, all the pain in my life, the challenges there were gifts that I was avoiding. And so I went on this journey of transforming all of this. And it's funny because in the life likes to test you, to see if you're for real on a transformational change, right. You start trying to count your macros. And then all of your friends want to go get chicken wings and overeat them and grab 1700 beers, right. And that's typically how it goes. And then you start trying to change your life touch you to see if you're for real. So I get, I get fired from my job. And this is right before a major personal development event where I was going to go to change some of the limiting belief systems going on.  

Luckily, I already had this ticket to the event. I remember landing in San Diego and going to the grocery store to buy peanut butter and Jelly because I couldn't afford eating out at the time and I overdrafted my bank account on peanut butter and Jelly, and then I walk into that conference and the tail with it. My tail between my legs and the topic that day was about rewiring your mind and changing your belief systems. How no matter what your definition of success is if you want it to come true, you need to change the beliefs going on behind the scenes and rewire your mind, because if you have a different roots, you have a different fruit and that transformed everything in my life and it led me to what I do today, which is helping people do the exact same thing, depending on whatever their definition of success is, whether it's in business and finance, in health and fitness, whatever its, there is a limiting belief in thought process going on behind the scenes that prevents you from using an amazing strategy that will help you to succeed and so that's what I'm an expert in and how I got into what I'm doing today. 

Amber B 08:13 

It's really good. Yeah. And you know, I wrote down a couple of things that you said and I think you know you use the word success and obviously success is relative to whatever that person wants to be successful in, but if we just took the things that you said, it, success and put in you know, weight loss or fitness transformation, you said you know other success was my failure. And I see that so often where it's like other people's weight loss or other people’s transformations, other people's fitness transformations is my failure. It's like this comparison is that we do, we're so attached to the weight loss or weight. We think the weight loss is going to make us happy, right? All these places where you said the word success and we just literally put in weight loss or you know, fitness transformation and it's the same thing, the same struggles that people have and really waking up to that. It's not going to make you happy. Like, whatever it, whatever it is, it's not going to make you happy. How attached are you to thinking that that's going to be the thing that's going to solve their problems? I just think it's so fascinating that this applies to so many areas of life. 

Brad Bizjack 09:16 

I completely agree, and I think one of the biggest points to understand is that no amount of weight loss, no amount of fitness and health is ever going to make you more worthy than you already are.  

Amber B 09:26 

Yes. 

Brad Bizjack 09:27 

And it's so important to realize that that you are worthy right now. You've been worthy since the moment you were born. And once you accept that and own that, all of a sudden, taking the correct actions and strategies to either lose weight or to be more fit and healthy, whatever it is becomes so much more easy because you're not attached to the outcome, saying I am my results or my worth is dependent on this. Our mutual mentor taught us that detachment is not that you should own nothing. It's that nothing should own you. And so if you are putting your happiness at a result of weight loss of fitness, that's saying I will be worthy when which is self punishment and success is not built on self punishment, it's built on celebrating yourself. It's built on honoring yourself and so if you think about what actually will make you happy, there's one word, progress. Progress is what makes you happy. It's not hitting the weight loss goal, it's I exercise today. I move towards it. That's when you feel the most alive, and once we take a big picture view of that and see all of our action steps towards our big dreams as progress, then we can be happy along the way because that goal, that outcome will never make us happy. It's happy now that will lead us to the outcome. 

Amber B 10:41 

Yeah, and tell me if this is what you are saying. Because I think sometimes people hear progress and they think physical progress or they think the scale is changing or they think I'm making more money, right, that the external progress and I think what you're saying is like, no, no, no, no. When you have kept your commitments, when you have gone to the gym, when you have done the things that are within your control to do, that's the progress you're talking about. And yes, is it gonna hopefully create an external transformation? Are you gonna make more money? Are you gonna lose more weight? Are you gonna, you know, have the apps, whatever it is? Yes, but what you're saying is what makes you happy is not that it's the progress you make in your own commitments and follow through. 

Brad Bizjack 11:20 

That's exactly right. I mean, think about what brings you the most pride, right? It's if you let me backtrack. If you think about the greatest goal you've ever achieved like, that's something you've worked hard for in your career or fitness or whatever it is, if you think about how long the happiness lasted, was it three weeks, was it 3 days? Was it 3 months? It right, it didn't last. But if you think about doing something courageous, something uncertain, something new, something challenging, that test, the limits and pushes you past what you're comfortable with, doing 13 reps instead of 10, right? Pushing yourself past what you thought you could do, that builds self esteem. Self-esteem is not from an external result, self esteem, esteem for yourself comes from doing the hard thing that you previously thought was either impossible or incredibly challenging. But most people crave certainty so much that they only do what they know how they do, and so they don't ever venture outside of that. And to the degree in which you can handle uncertainty in your life, is the degree in which will be successful in your life. And so always pushing those limits, that's where you're gonna feel the most pride. That's where gonna feel the most happiness. It's I think about I'm training for Spartan Ultra right now. It's a 30 mile, 60 obstacle race that will take 10 hours plus, and it's if I say in June, I'm going to be happy that I finished the Spartan ultra. That doesn't make sense, but when I run 15 miles or do a great lifting workout or whatever it is and push myself. I feel alive in that moment. I celebrate myself like every day. It's if you had a camera on me, it would actually be pretty funny to watch because I literally give myself a pat on the back and say nice job, man. Like, every time I do a great workout cause it's about the actions towards the goal. 

Amber B 13:03 

That's so good. I mean, you and I both have a love of lifting and I mean, this is one of the things that I love so much about wanting to get more women in the weigh room. It's like, yes, I love building muscle. Yes, but what it is to me is like the ability of something I couldn't do before and walking up to the bar and being like, I don't know if I can do this and then doing it and that the like, the self esteem that comes from doing the hard things and pushing yourself and achieving more than you thought was possible like, I mean it's one of the reasons I want to get more women lifting weights because that in and of itself is so powerful. 

Brad Bizjack 13:34 

Yes, absolutely. It's. And there's a lot of fears around that like I'm going to get bulky and all this stuff, that's a whole other topic but it's like. 

Amber B 13:42 

We have podcast on that. Yeah, so good. OK. So you mentioned and kind of kicked off talking a little bit about limiting beliefs and some people may be familiar with that, you know, verbiage, but can you kind of explain what limiting beliefs are and specifically, how it might be impacting the listeners who are listening it might be impacting their journey without them even knowing it. 

Brad Bizjack 14:04 

Yes. Here's the fun thing about limiting beliefs, 2 crappy things about them. Number one is you believe them and #2 is you can't see them, right? It's very hard to see that they're controlling our entire life. So what is a belief? A belief is nothing more than a feeling of certainty. That's all a belief is like, for example, is the sky blue? But most will say yes, the sky is blue. The question what about during a sunset? What about during a sunrise? What about at night? What about when it's raining? When that one is about to storm? What about the scientific reason that there is no color? It's actually like being reflected, right? So there's. All I'm trying to do is show a very simple example of how we believe the sky is blue. But it's a feeling of certainty, and so a belief is a feeling of certainty, right? I am big boned. I can't lose weight. That's a belief. And there's two types. One is a generalized global belief, like a large. Like men are life is the other is a rule or an if then belief and if then belief or a rule is if I lose weight, then I can't ever enjoy my life, right? I can't enjoy, you know, fun treats and things like that. Right, that would be a a limiting belief, but they control everything. If you think about our entire lives, our entire lives are controlled by invisible forces. Think about gravity. If you have too much of it, you're crushed. If you're too little of it, you float away, love, invisible wars have been started over love. And when you are feeling with your intimate relationship that things are off, everything's off. And if you, when you feel deeply in love and passionately in love, there's no problems. Even if the world is burning around you. There’s no problem when you're deeply, passionately loved. That is an invisible force.  

Beliefs are the same way, because think about this. What's the potential of human beings? It's unlimited, right? And we're taught to just take more action, just do more things, but what controls the level of potential we tap into? Our beliefs. So if I have a belief, let's say that it's I've tried everything. Right, let's use that. That's such a common one. I've tried everything. It won't work for me. Well, scale of one to 10. What level of potential do you tap into? Zero or one out of 10. And from a zero or one out of 10, what level of inspired action and choices do you make or take 0 out of 10 or one out of 10 and therefore, what results do you get? Zero or one out of 10. And then what happens to the existing belief that I've tried everything and I can't lose weight? It gets reinforced and you confirm it through confirmation bias, and then you surround yourself, other people believe the same thing and if you believe that of course I can do this. Then your potential goes to a 10 out of 10. Your action goes to a 10 out of 10. You start doing things differently. You start actually using like macro counting and stuff like that, you get much better results and it reinforces the belief that of course, you can have success with this.  

So, it's an invisible force that is that you believe that is unseen, and it typically takes some questions to ask to find out what those beliefs are. Right. So what do you believe about weight loss? How do you complete the sentence? Weight loss is or my health and fitness journey is. Is that empowering or disempowering? What do you think the consequences are of investing time and effort into health and fitness journey? Will you lose something? That is where some of your beliefs exist and the crappy thing about them is that you believe these beliefs, they feel certain to you. So when they are challenged, it feels like a survival threat. This is why when someone people call this a trigger, right? Well, a trigger. It's just a piece of your heart that hasn't healed yet. That's all the trigger is. And so people always go through their life trying not to be triggered. When it someone triggers you, it's just triggering an old belief. That's it. It's triggering an old belief and this is why whenever those beliefs that we have are threatened, it feels like a threat to our survival. And then we double down on defending it. And so that's a little bit about what limiting beliefs are. But to make this applicable to the listeners, ask yourself, what do you think health and wellness will take away from you and what are you gaining by not being consistent on the journey. Because a lot of people say I'm getting nothing. I'm not getting anything out of progress and not getting anything out of not doing this.  

You're getting a reward. You're getting something from it is everything we do as human beings is driven by our need to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. And so if you're doing a behavior or an action that you don't understand why it's giving you something, it might be a feeling of certainty because that's how you know how to navigate things. It's what you dealt with before, and this thing being a survival mechanism would rather be certain and in pain than uncertain and growing, right. Or it might be meeting your need for significance. If you have trouble losing weight, you get connection sympathy, significance if you're the I know I'm kind of rambling here, but I think this is relevant, if you are the person that is consistently hitting your goals consistently, happy and fulfilled. Most people think you're nuts. Most people think you're crazy, but if you're the person that has problems consistently and has hardship consistently in society, you get rewarded for that, you get connection sympathy and significance. Right. And so it could be giving you that it could be giving you a feeling of certainty, of proving a limiting story. True. It also could be giving you a feeling of significance to have this belief. And we can go into how to break beliefs. If we want to but start to ask yourself, what do you believe about health and wellness? What do you believe about your journey? What would you be losing from it? What are you gaining from staying in the same place? And you'll start to find what are the beliefs holding you back from actually taking the action that's right in front of you.  

Amber B 19:47 

That's really good. Really good. What would you say to someone who's like, OK, Brad. But so basically you're telling me to just, like, gaslight myself and tell myself, like something that's not true. Right. Like, what do you say to someone who's like, I'm basically lying to myself and trying to believe it. 

Brad Bizjack 20:06 

Remind yourself, when you shift, when you're saying you're shifting a belief system. 

Amber B 20:10 

Yes, because I just have a lot of people. I, they're so entrenched in their beliefs that, like you said, they're very certain about them. And so when you start to introduce those new belief, and they start to tell themselves it doesn't feel true. It doesn't feel real. And they're like, I'm just gaslighting myself. I'm just trying to, like, tell myself enough times that I can lose weight. Then I'll believe it. And that's it. Doesn't feel true to them use what I'm saying. 

Brad Bizjack 20:33 

Yeah, absolutely.  

Amber B 20:34 

What do you say to that? 

Brad Bizjack 20:35 

So there's two directions that. I want to take with this. And I feel very strongly about this cause I see this all the time in the business space. I see this in health and fitness space. See this the financial space all the time. How is that serving you? Ten to one, right? I just should gaslight myself, right? That is not what's being said in any way, shape or form. That's just you trying to feel important by having a harder story than everyone else, and by the way, if you think about, let's say, affirmation cards right, these things that you pull, it says I am worthy or I am healthy. What does your brain do? Kiss. Swear on this podcast? 

Amber B 21:03 

Okay.

Brad Bizjack 21:17 

I won't tell everybody, you guys says you are worth your baby goes BS no. You're not, yeah. Like, how do we convince our brain to believe this. Well, imagine you have a record that's playing have you ever been to Disney World and you get on a ride called It's a small world ,small world after all. Or. Whatever.  

Amber B 21:36 

Yeah. We do Disneyland, I live 10 minutes from Disneyland so. 

Brad Bizjack 21:39 

There you go. You spin and you, it’s a small world after all, right? 

Amber B 21:43 

Yeah, over and over and over and over again. 

Brad Bizjack 21:45 

And what plays in your mind for weeks? 

Amber B 21:48 

Yeah. It's playing in my mind right now that you said it. 

Brad Bizjack 21:52 

It drives your freaking bananas. Well, this is what happens with the belief. A belief starts off as a thought, a feeling of certainty. It's just like a question. And then you've asked enough times it becomes a conviction, right? So an exam and I'll come back around to this. But have you ever been at a party and to sound cooler than you actually are you exaggerate the details of a story you're telling at a party and then people laugh and they give you more feedback or more connection, more love so you go back to the party and tell that same exaggerated story again a couple weeks later. Next thing you know, it's five years into the future and you're sharing that story at a party and you don't even know what part of that story is true or not, you just say it because you're convicted. That's how belief works. It's reinforced over and over that it's a thought, habit. That's what a belief is, and so if you think about this record that's playing or a CD that's playing. And this CD plays one track and it's your limiting belief about weight loss. And it's all you listen to all day long. What most people make this mistake of doing is try to put in new CD in and they don't take the old one out, they just try to put in I'm healthy, I'm vigrant. I'm alive. Right. That will never work. Nothing. It just it just doesn't go into the CD drive.  

But what would happen if you took the CD out and you scratched the CD all over the place? Even if you put the same CD in, it wouldn't play the same music. And you would have to take it out and then you have an opportunity to put a new one in and so if you think about what will actually create an opportunity for you to want to listen to the new belief is that you need to start associating pain to the old one, and this is very uncomfortable. Most people don't want to do this. Why? Because we want to avoid pain. Your brain is a survival mechanism. It's looking for ways to stay, stay safe, not to succeed, to stay safe until you rewire it. And so if you think about the existing belief that you have, right, whatever that is, the one that you're afraid of, gaslighting yourself for they give the existing belief that you have. And I want you to start asking yourself a very important question. Who has this belief hurt? Who was this let down in the past? What does this cost you in the past? What's not present in your life, whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, whatever it is. And then, what will be missing in your life in the future if you don't change this? What will it cost you two years, five years, 10 years from now, if you don't shift this belief, who will it let down? Who will no longer be in your life? Who will you hurt? How will you hurt yourself? What words will you say to yourself when you look in the mirror if you keep this BS up? And then when you allow yourself to feel the pain of this belief. You're not going to want to listen to it anymore.  

It's like every time you hear it's a small world. It's like getting stabbed. You don't want to do it. And a great example of this is the movie A Christmas Carol. You ever seen the movie A Christmas Carol with Scrooge. He's a total bughead until one night three neuro associative conditioning specialist. Sure. What did they do? They have unbearable pain to the way he was living. The way that he is living and the way that he his life will be if he continues living,  

Amber B 25:09 

That's interesting, yeah.  

Brad Bizjack 25:10 

Box them infernal endlessly has to change, and so if you create enough leverage in your life, then there's room for an empowering belief so I could go on and on and on about that. But instead of looking at it like gaslighting yourself, you are just becoming your own practical psychologist. That’s what I'm trying to say. 

Amber B 25:30 

Yeah, I really love that. But that was fascinating. Thanks for sharing that. Sometimes I think people learn best from, like, personal experiences. So I'm wondering if you have a personal experience of like, how you went through this process of, you know, one I think sometimes the hardest part is identifying what is the current belief, right. Because, like you said, the really the hard to spot. So it's like, how did you figure out one of these like self limiting beliefs and then two, how did you reprogram it? How did you get to the other side and what was the result of that? 

Brad Bizjack 25:59 

Yeah. So the belief that I was dealing with was I'm not worthy of feeling good. And that I didn't realize it was there until one day I was looking in the mirror and I was judging my body. And keep in mind, I'm in fantastic shape and I was looking in the mirror and judging my body. And I did this when I was not in great shape and I was still doing this when I was in great shape. But I realized in that moment had nothing to do with the way my body looked. It was an old belief, saying I'm not worthy of feeling great and so when I started looking at this, keep in mind that it comes to creating leverage in your life. What's a lever? A lever is something that allows you with little effort to use them to move a massive amount of weight, right? Well, you want to create leverage within yourself. And so I started asking myself, what is it costing me to view my body this way? How is it hurting me? That would go through all the normal stuff of like. Well, you know, I'm not really going to hit my health and Wellness goals. I'm not going to have a six pack. I'm going to have all this stuff and I was like really changing anything. I started asking myself well, what are the consequences in the future?  

I started thinking about my daughter and what it would cost her. Her dad didn't love what she saw in the mirror. And here's the thing with leverage, if you want to create consequence around a belief, you have to allow yourself to get deep and dark and make up a nightmare, that's what will be painful enough for you to actually change and in full transparency. I close my eyes and I pictured how she would look at herself in the mirror when she was 13. And I pictured what it would feel like as a dad if my daughter hated what she saw. And how I was failing her and letting her down. And how she and the stories that were playing in her head about her desire to even be here. When I created that story in my mind of that's what this belief is costing me. I was like screw that, I'm done with it. Out from now on, I treat my body with respect. I love myself. I take care of myself and ever since then I have never looked at my body the same. And here's the thing. Once you create leverage, a change of belief, you have an opening, a window to plant a new belief right then and there. And it's typically the antithesis. It's typically the opposite. And so I plugged in. I love my body. I love my body no matter what. And by the way, when you love your body, no matter what, you treat it better than if you don't love what you see and ever since then it has not been hard to eat a vegetable, hasn't been hard to exercise, hasn't been hard to treat myself when I want to enjoy something. Because the root is different and if you have a different root you have a different fruit. 

Amber B 29:00 

That's really, really good. A question that I get a lot that relates specifically you know when we're talking about health and fitness goals is differentiating between a genuine physical limitation and a limiting belief. You know, how do we differentiate between that? How do people recognize that this is a genuine physical limitation that I have, whether it's age or medical conditions or you know genetic potential or whatever it is versus the limiting belief and how do we separate those two? 

Brad Bizjack 29:30 

Great question. So I am in no way shape or form denying that there are physical limitations out there. Absolutely there are and I have seen people overcome the most ridiculous things like I've seen people that have, I've literally in front of my own eyes, seen people that have been in wheelchairs for decades, stand up and walk and dance. I have seen it, which means that I know that the mind is so incredibly powerful. That being said, I still honor someone’s existing limitation. Now I'll take this in a different direction to actually answer the question. If you explore possibility through the lens of anything is possible, won't you feel more alive than if you just accept this limitation as is? Even if you never accomplish what you wanted to accomplish, you did everything you could to try to find a way and you see this after, like tragic car accidents. When someone’s told that they're never going to walk again, right. And then and most people just accept it, right? They accept that this is my physical limitation. This is what it is. But then you see the very rare set of people that say I will find a way to walk again. That will make the way and not all of them do, but there are some stories, many stories, people that find a way to do it. Because here's the thing, whatever you focus on, you create more of and if you focus on your, a great example, have you ever been in the market for a car. The moment you decide what make and model you want to buy, you see it everywhere. So, let's say you want to buy a Honda CR-V. Cool. You see it every stoplight, every street corner, every parking lot, everywhere, because you told your brain that's important, right.  

Well, if you look around the room you're in right now and count up all the things that you can find that are red, like try it right now count, look the thing, look the things that are red, look for red. Look for red. Look for red. Look for red like red, count the things that are red. Keep looking for red, look for red, look for red. How many things you find that red? Whatever that number is fantastic. And how many things do you find that were purple or blue or green. You have no idea because you weren't looking for it. But if you look around the room now and count up all the things you can find that are blue. Ready. Go look for blue. Look for blue. Look for blue. Look for blue. Look for blue. Look for blue. How many more things did you find that were blue? It was always there. You just weren't looking for it because this piece of your brain called the reticular activating system is fizzling out all the stuff that you're deeming unimportant. And so if you are focused on, well, I have a physical limitation. I can't. That's looking for red. You won't see the blue, the possibility, and so even if the result never comes to fruition, the self esteem and pride from going after possibility and looking for blue, how can I walk again? Or how can I heal my shoulder? Or how can I do XY and Z? Or how can I overcome this disease or challenge. The self esteem and pride that comes from trying to find an answer is so much greater than the safety you find in your current limitation. 

Amber B 32:51 

Yeah. And I think you hit on it. It's like the reason more people aren't willing to do that is because they're not willing to be disappointed. They're not willing to say I want this big, crazy thing. I want to walk again and then the back of their brain is like what if I can't? What if I do all of those things and you can't. And I see this so often with people with weight losses. Like they don't want to set a big goal because they don't want to be disappointed if they don't reach it. And I think you're so, you're limiting your possibilities based off of just not wanting to be disappointed. 

Brad Bizjack 33:24 

Can I share story about that?  

Amber B 33:25 

Of course. 

Brad Bizjack 33:28 

I miss almost every single goal that I set in the last decade of being on my own, having my own business, I should say. And this relates to weight loss. I'll bring it back around to weight loss. Or health and fitness in any way shape or form. I have maybe hit 1% of any goal I've ever set. I miss almost every single one and the reason for that is because I'll share a business story and we'll relate it back to health and fitness in just a moment. About I don't know, five years ago something like that. I was talking to a mentor and our business was doing really well at the time it was doing, we were doing like $25,000 a month in revenue, right? Great. Fantastic. A lot of people would love, love to have that income, right? And I was talking to my mentor and he was like, so what are your goals? And I was like, you know, I think if I really work hard, I can probably get to $30,000 a month. Right, really think and probably get there. And it was a realistic, safe, attainable goal, right? And he started laughing at me. And I was like dude, what the heck? And I was like that's a great income, so people would be blessed and honored to have that. Why are you laughing? And he said, why would you ever set a goal you know you can hit and it just kind of stuck with me. And he said he followed up and he said, you do not set goals for the certainty of attainment. You set them to become a new person that's capable of achieving those things that's what you're going to care about. He said, Brad, what do you really want? What does your heart really want and it came out of me $100,000 a month, this completely unattainable, unrealistic, crazy goal, right? And I just felt the passion sweats. I'm talking about what I actually wanted because I was living in the feelings of my actual wishes, not societally conditioned being as that keeps us safe.  

And there was just one problem we had just had our daughter. And it was a traumatic childbirth. All this stuff. And both my girls were in the hospital, both of them almost died. All this stuff. Plus there's newborn life. It's crazy. You have 4 kids. You know how that goes. It's crazy, all this stuff. But I kept remembering what John said. Live in the feelings of your wishes. Right. Picture them as true and I picture it, picture $100,000, a $100,000 a month and about two months later, I finally figured out what or came up with this idea. I was in the shower, had nothing to write with, but I got this crazy idea and that ended up leading to literally millions of dollars in sales the following couple of years, all because I had the courage to dream unrealistically. It would have taken me 15 years to hit my realistic, safe goal. It took me two to do multiples of that and so when it comes to health and fitness. If you're trying to be realistic, you're missing the whole point. It's not about being realistic, it's let me give you a new perspective on goals. The purpose of a goal is never to hit it. The purpose of a goal is to elevate your energy. It's to elevate your energy so you have something to get excited and creative and move towards. And then I guarantee even if you miss the outcome you're looking for, you'll be so much further. Along than you ever would have if you chose a safe, realistic, attainable goal. 

Amber B 36:50 

Super good. Have you read the book 10X is better than 2X. 10X is easier than 2X. You would love it, I mean. It's very similar to this whole idea of like 10X schools are actually easier to attain than 2X schools because they require you to think like outside of the box. There's only one way that you can do it versus like a bajillion ways that you could get to 30 came on. Anyway. It's. I'm reading it right now and it's a lot along this lines and so I feel like I'm hearing this from multiple angles and I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something  

Brad Bizjack 37:20 

Dream big my friend.  

Amber B 37:21 

Dream big like make those dreams a little bit bigger. 

Brad Bizjack 37:25 

So can I add one more sentence to this? 

Amber B 37:27 

Of course, yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 37:28 

So to everyone listening, we just heard that business story apply this to health and fitness. What is it your heart really wants? Is it that you just want to lose 15 lbs, or is it that you want to run around and play with your kids at the trampoline park and have more energy than them? Like what is it that your heart really wants? If there was no limitation and there was only excitement and passion and possibility, what does your heart actually want? And just claim that and own that and you will find you have way more energy to bring to your health and fitness journey. 

Amber B 37:59 

Yeah, I think, I mean, I think that's so good that what you said. I wrote out energy, excitement and possible. That was excitement, passion and possibility. And I think the key for this is like if you have a goal that brings that energy to you like this is what you're saying. If you have a goal that makes you feel that way, how much more are you going to show up in your life with that same energy? And so often we set goals out of fear, and I think that's why we set these little goals, right? Like part of you said I want 30K months instead of like 100K months, because there's that fear associated with it and we were operating from that fear. You're never going to be creative. You're never going to come up with the great ideas and it's like that energy. I love what you said. Goal. The goal's purpose is to elevate your energy. That, I mean, mic drop right there. So good. OK, for somebody who is listening to this and it's like that sounds really great. Brad. I'm driving with what you're saying, but I struggle to take this and apply it to like OK. What do I do today or what does this look like? How does the principles look like in your day to day life? Are there practices or things that you do to kind of bring you back into this space? You guys don't know Brad. I know Brad and Brad is like always in this space. It's like green big life is great. We're so happy. Like you're like a golden retriever. It's like, oh, my gosh. Like, it's so true. So Brad is all like, I feel like you are so high vibe. You're so high. Like. Life is great. Is there, for someone who maybe that isn't their natural disposition. Is there anything that you do or implement on a daily basis that helps you to continue to maintain that, those high vibes. 

Brad Bizjack 39:40 

Yes. Absolutely. Can I start with what not to do? 

Amber B 39:45 

Yes. 

Brad Bizjack 39:46

OK. Most people try to create a breakthrough in their life backwards right, most people start with what do I do? Right. And so notice. So most people do, they start with. But there's three keys to breaking through anything in your life, and I'll tell you what they are in reverse order of importance. #3 is the strategy, the how. Now, the how is important. If you head east looking for a sunset, you're going to be very disappointed, right? If you let's say binge eat 12 times a day you will not hit your health and Wellness goals, right? There's some science to it. There is an important how the how matters. But when most people start with how the strategy where they automatically feel is disempowerment because it feels overwhelming and chaotic and they don't even know where to begin because there's so much coming at them. And so the stories playing in their heads, that's never going to happen, how will it ever work for me and their emotions are super low. And when your emotions are super low and the stories playing in your head are really, really negative and disempowering, it doesn't even matter. If you have the right strategy right? Like if you think about Amber's program, it's the best, you could have the program, the best strategy on the planet. But if your energy and limitations and stories playing in your head are saying that level work, you could have the right strategy and not apply it or halfway apply it. It won't work.

So the second most important key to a breakthrough is the story. The story playing in your mind right? If you start with the strategy, the story is very negative, but if you have a more empowering story saying it's maybe it's of course I can do this right? Or I love my body or I love myself. Whatever it is that if the empowering story is there, you will then apply the correct strategy the right way. But then the question comes OK, how do I get the right stories to play in my mind? Well, if you ever noticed when you're in depressed or overwhelmed or anxious states, these stories are automatically negative. But when you're in the live state, say you're at a Taylor Swift concert right, when you're at no in a live state, we’re Swifties in this household, a live state the stories automatically play differently. You automatically have more empowering story. And so when you have more empowering stories you then apply the right strategy. 

So the most important key to a breakthrough #1 is the state you are in, the emotional state you are in and there is a recipe for it. Most people don't realize they do their emotions instead of just feel. This changed my life because every single thing I show I'll tell you how to do it. Specifically, just a moment. But every single day, there's 18,000,000 things that are going wrong. And if I show up with, well, how am I going to fix that as the default setting. The story typically flows out of it pretty negative, but if I start with my states, my energy, my emotions and I elevate those first, then the story plays differently and I find so many more solutions, and especially as you become more successful in life more things go wrong. More frequent you deal with more problems. And so if you bring a low energy, that's not going to happen. So you need to flip it like successful people do.  

Number one is they start with their states, then the right stories play and they apply the right strategy. So how do you get into the right state each day? How do you become a golden retriever and three things that directly impact this that you 100% are in control of #1 are the words that you use. It's called spelling because it casts a spell on you. Right. If I say the word booty versus the word butt versus the word ass,  

Amber B 43:27 

Or glute. 

Brad Bizjack 43:28 

Or glutes. There you go. Each of them have a very different emotion associated with them, right? They're the exact same freaking thing. They all different emotions associated with them. So the first strategy is take a look at the words you use to describe your challenge, if those words are disempowering, you just found why it feels so heavy. For example, am I so overwhelmed and so anxious, or am I just a wee bit perturbed, right? Either way, if you choose a more empowering word, you'll feel very, very, very different outcome. That's the first one.  

The second one is what do you focus on? You do not experience your life, you experience the life you focus on. That's what you experience. So for example, there's three patterns that everyone has when it comes to focus pattern #1, you tend to focus on what's missing from your life and what you appreciate in your life. Where do you tend to live? Everyone does both, but where do you tend to live. Pattern #2 do you tend to focus more on what you can't control or what you can control? Everyone does both. Where do you tend to live with your center of gravity. Pattern #3 do you tend to focus most on the past, present or future? We all do all three. But there's one where you have a center of gravity, it's a recipe. Watch this if you focus on what's missing from your life, what you cannot control in the past, that's the recipe for depression. If you focus on what you cannot control, what's missing from your life and the future, that's the recipe for anxiety. If you focus on what you have that you appreciate what you can control in the future, that's excitement. And there's endless recipes with this.  

But the point I'm trying to make is that whatever you focus on, you create more of. If your spouse is late coming to dinner and they're one minute late, what story plays in your head. What if it's 30 minutes and they haven't texted, they haven't called, their phone is dead. You're either really angry or you're really worried because of what you are focused on. It feels real. They're either in a ditch or cheating on you. What are the 2 Or they're prioritizing work one of the three, right? And it it feels real even. Though it might be totally not true so. #2 is where are you placing your focus and #3 and the most empowering way to get into an emotional state that serves you. Is a radical change in your Physiology. And this is great for health and fitness This is why 5 minutes into lifting you feel outstanding. Because you literally have a different biochemistry in those five minutes and most people are like, OK, I just need to get up and stretch, you know. A radical change in your Physiology if you think about the emotion of anxiety or overwhelmed, it's typically you're curled in shoulders down, you're rounded. You're breathing really shallow. If you think about the emotion of excitement. You're up. Your shoulders are back. You're breathing more fully, right? And so the more radical the change in your Physiology, the better you automatically feel. And if you change one of those three things, you have a very different life. You change all three of those things at once, you have your whole world changes in an instant. So before every podcast, every zoom call, every speaking engagement. I literally do burpees. I do burpees and I focus on my wife and daughter to get into a state of gratitude and I just. I just try to serve. And then I end up saying something that is, I got to write down, it's quotable, and I didn't even know it was coming right because you're in an elevated state. So I start with my state first and I trust the stories and the strategy will figure themselves out from the right states. You'll find or apply the right strategy. 

Amber B 46:53 

That's fantastic, I love that every single, every single bit of that. I do push-ups before I go live. They may need to do some burpees too, like mix it up a little bit. 

Brad Bizjack 47:03 

There we go. 

Amber B 47:04 

That's fantastic. Brad, this has been phenomenal and it's so valuable for my audience. If they are wanting to connect with you after this, where should they go? 

Brad Bizjack 47:14 

Well, there's two places, if you want to hang out, number one is on the gram, just Brad Bizjack on the gram, the 2nd and probably the most impactful place is that if you're trying to discover what your limiting beliefs are and you don't quite know what they are and they're preventing you, maybe in health and fitness, but also in other areas of your life. I've worked with 50,000 people at this stage and I've recognized 4 main patterns of belief systems that keep people stuck in their own way, no matter what their goals are. I call these archetypes and I have a free quiz. It's called What's Your Unique Success Archetype? And you can find it at quizzes.bradbizjak.com quizzes.bradbizjak.com and it's an amazing place to get an idea of what's your current starting point, what is your belief structure right now, and what exactly needs to happen to change it now would be probably the most impactful way to find out more and stuff like that. 

Amber B 48:07 

Awesome. And of course, we'll link that up in the show notes of this episode so that people can easily find it. Thanks so much, Brad. This has been awesome. Thanks for coming and sharing with my audience. 

Wasn't that awesome? Don't you feel, I just feel higher vibe, just like being around Brad and hearing him. I he. Like I said, he just has such an ability to be able to walk the walk. He is not just telling me to do these things. He implements them his own life and has made a vast difference in the things that he's been able to achieve. And now he's able to help you to be able to do the same thing. So I'm hoping that as you listen to this, you started to notice some of the ways that maybe you're holding yourself back and if you would like to get help with that, that is something that we do inside of MACROS 101. I take a lot of the stuff that Brad talks about and I apply it to your health and fitness goals and it's what makes MACROS 101 so different than so many other health and fitness programs. Because like Brad said, you can have the best strategy in the world but if you're approaching it with the wrong stories and the wrong state and nothing's going to change and we marry those two things inside of MACROS 101. We marry the science, we marry the strategy, which is very important, teach you the tool of macro counting. But we marry it with the stories and the state and the inner shifts that need to happen for that transformation to occur from the inside out and for it to be long term and permanent. And that's what makes MACROS 101 so different. So if you're not on the wait list yet, I highly encourage you get on the wait list. Doors are going to open on March 4th, so go to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist and hopefully I'll see you on the inside of MACROS 101. That wraps up this episode of Biceps after Babies Radio. I'm Amber, now go on and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.  

Outro

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