280: How To Successfully Count Macros On Vacation | Live Coaching Session

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 280. 

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And today I have another coaching conversation with you. Now the reason that I put these on the podcast, one is because we talk about topics that are really relevant. The topic today is about how do I, how am I successful on a vacation? which I think anybody who has ever counted macros has that question because guess what? Life is not cut and dry. Life is not always predictable. We have vacations, we have parties, we have events we have going out to eat. We have going over to friend’s house and each of those moments is a moment to kind of question, you know, how can I do this the most successfully? So this topic about how to be successful on a vacation is a really pertinent one to anybody who's going to use the tool of macro counting. The other reason that I put this on the podcast is because we get into some coaching and some, some shifts in how you think about vacationing and how you think about these, these moments that go a lot deeper than just giving you recommendations about how to estimate or how to, you know, figure out what you're going to eat or how to plan ahead, right. Those are, those are all, there's nothing wrong with tips and tricks. But they don't ever get to the root of what is actually going on, or the root of why you haven't been successful on vacations in the past. And that’s what we do during this coaching call, so this is a coaching call taken from our current round of MACROS 101, we have a fantastic group of women. It's been really, really fun to coach them and Camille comes on and asks a really great question about how, how am I gonna be successful on this trip to Chicago. And so we get in some, to some really great coaching around that. I do talk about the FEED plan, which if you're a MACROS 101 alumni, you know this concept. It's in Module 2. I teach you about exactly how to create the FEED plan. I'm not going to go into detail into it in the episode. I do teach a little bit on it. So you're gonna hear a little bit of that, but what I really want you listening for is the shift that I'm having Camille make in her mind about how she is making decisions and that's really, that's really a game changer when it comes to feeling like you can be successful in lots of different circumstances in your life and feeling really empowered to make your own choices.  

Now doors to MACROS 101 are currently closed, but if you wanna get on the wait list so that you are the first in line, the next time that we open doors to MACROS 101, you can go to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist and put your name and e-mail there and you'll know when we open up doors next inside of MACROS 101. This is the type of coaching, the deep transformational style of coaching that you will receive in the program and it's what really sets it apart, what sets my coaching, my program apart is that we don't just stick with basic tips and tricks that you can get off Pinterest or get off Instagram. But we actually dive deep into a lot of this deeper work that is really going to make the long-term change for you. So, let's dive into the coaching that I did with Camille. 

Camille 03:40 

So I've been doing really great in tracking and it's been going really well. I'm proud of myself. In a couple of weeks I have to go to Chicago to see my family, visit family for a couple weeks, and I'm starting to get a little nervous because I've been doing so well and I don't want to go backwards. 

Amber B 04:03

OK. Cool. Awesome. Have you gone through Module 2 yet?

Camille 04:08 

Yes. 

Amber B 04:08 

OK, so you know about the FEED plan. 

Camille 04:12 

I don't remember now. I did it like, like a long time ago so. 

Amber B 04:16

OK. So I'm going to direct you, definitely go back to Module 2 because I teach what's called the FEED Plan and the FEED Plan is going to be very helpful for any time that you have some sort of unplanned, spontaneous out of your norm event. And so it's going to be a really great framework for you to get, to get in the right headspace, to create a plan of attack, to create metrics for success, for something that's coming up. So the first thing, and we can kind of walk, walk through it a little bit today because I think it actually would be beneficial for everybody to kind of experience this live. The first question, the F stands for Feel. How do you want to feel ? So, if I ask you the question, OK, you're going to go on this trip in a couple weeks. It's, I don’t know, let's pretend it's two weeks long so let's, let's take you on to the future. It's two weeks, you've just finished with your family, you get home and you're, like I am, that, that was great,  like that was a great trip, I’m really happy with how it went. What feeling are you, are, are you feeling in your body? What emotions do you have that, that would, that you're trying to create at the end of your experience?

Camille 05:30 

Yeah. So I want to feel as though I didn't lose control.  

Amber B 05:34

OK. Great.

Camille 05:36 

I want to feel as though I didn't succumb to any pressure to eat too much, eat out too much. 

Amber B 05:47 

OK, you basically made your own decisions.  

Camille 05:50 

Yeah. 

Amber B 05:51

OK. The more specific we can get, the more successful you're going to be. So how, how will you know when you've made your own decisions? Like, what is going to tell you when you're doing something because somebody, you're succumbing or versus making your own decisions?

Camille 06:09 

So you know, so it's in Chicago, amazing restaurants, amazing food. I always want to go to my favorite restaurants. I always want to go to the newest restaurants, right, so I guess it's hard because for example, my mom would be like, do you want to go to whatever some, you know, some, like, a cheeseburger place? It's like, I do want to go, not going to be here again for six months, but I don't want to go and then I feel there's this weird sense of, like, obligation almost. 

Amber B 06:45 

To whom? 

Camille 06:46 

To my mom, who go to these restaurants or. 

Amber B 06:48  

OK. Talk to me more about this obligation.

Camille 06:57 

Uhm. It’s like.. 

Amber B 07:00 

Let me help you. If I don't go to this restaurant, then what? 

Camille 07:07 

If I don't go to this restaurant, I'll feel like I missed out on some great meal. If I don't go to this restaurant, I'll feel like I've missed an opportunity to be with family, I don't know when I'm going to be, like going to be back here again. It's just a missing out, I guess feeling. 

Amber B 07:25

OK. So it's interesting to me. So those are very different experiences because you said that as an obligation to your mom. But the first thing that you gave me was a missing out and that was like, that, that's for you, right? That's like, you're missing out, right, thing that you're dealing with and then the second thing that you gave was like, the you know, missing out on time with your family. OK. So those, those are two different experiences. Those are two different things and they kind of need to be dealt with differently. Which of those would you say is more of a pull for you of feeling like you're, you're getting pressured into something you don't want to do?

Camille 07:59 

I'd say the missing out for me is more so than the family. 

Amber B 08:03 

So like missing out on, like, hey, I won't be in Chicago. I can't have this cheeseburger because it's the only place I have it. And if I don't have it now, I'm gonna be missing out.  

Camille 08:11 

Right. 

Amber B 08:13

OK. Cool.  Awesome. So that's, that's going to take us in a different direction than the, than the family thing. So we often have this experience where we and you guys all know this experience where it's like I want this thing, but then I can't because this thing and it becomes this push and pull between two parts of yourself that's like I want results but I also want a cheeseburger, and feeling like you have to decide between them. And there's a push-pull between those two parts of yourselves, like the devil of the Angel. It's like, which one's going to win? Because you are both of those, parts you can't ever win. When we get in the battle with ourselves, you will always lose. OK, so we got to change the game because it's an unwinnable game that you've put yourself in, which is why you feel like, ham will do, but I want cheeseburger but I also want results and now I'm in an unwinnable game because if I choose one over the other, then I, a part of me loses and it's ugly. OK. So we're gonna change the game. One of the best ways that I like to change the game is to ask myself, how can I have both? Because so often our minds go to this binary. It has to be one or the other and when we expand our mind a little bit and ask ourselves the question, how could I have both? Then that becomes a very powerful framework to start to work from so. And we're going to start really broad and we'll get more specific. But if I ask your brain that question and I said, hey, Camille, you want to enjoy the cheeseburger that you could only have in Chicago and you want to have results, how could you have both?

Camille 09:47 

The first thing that popped into my mind when you said that having both is like have less of it, have half. 

Amber B 09:54 

True. 

Camille 09:55 

Have the burger, don't have the fries, have the, you know pick, pick one or the other or just don't eat the whole thing. 

Amber B 10:04 

And how does that feel? 

Camille 10:07 

It feels great now until the cheeseburger is sitting in front of me. 

Amber B 10:10 

What do you think will happen when the cheeseburger’s sitting in front of you, that will be different? 

Camille 10:14 

I might eat the whole thing. 

Amber B 10:15

OK. So, but would that be a choice that you're making in the moment?

Camille 10:19 

Yes. 

Amber B 10:20 

So I think another thing that's really important and we do this a lot to ourselves where, and this is why as you go through the MACROS 101 content, I talk so much about, like intentionality and choice because a lot of us have had the experience in the past where we don't feel like we get to, we don't have power in our life like things happen to us. The, the hamburger just gets eaten rather than turning it around and really understanding our power and being able to affect change in, in our behavior and in how we do things and owning that choice. So what I'm saying, Camille, is you told me that one of the things that you wanted was to not lose control. You can go to a burger shop, have a plan and say you know what I want? I want to come out of here not having lost control, my plan going into this is to eat half the burger and half of the fries. That's my plan. OK, you get in the moment. You're loving this cheeseburger. It's like everything you ever wanted. You're not going to have this for another six months. You're super enjoying this and you can make a conscious choice and say I came in with a plan to eat half, I'm really enjoying this and it's worth it to me and I want to savor this moment. I'm going to choose to eat the other half because I'm a grown-ass woman and I can make my own decisions about what I want to do. And I still leave feeling like I didn't lose control because I made a choice and I'm owning that choice. But what so many of us do is we go into the thing like go into the burger joint and we say I'm going to eat half of the, the burger. We get to that point where we don't even ever make a choice. We just eat the rest of it and then we feel super guilty. And we walk out and we're like I, why can't I stick to my plan? I’m such a loser. Like, why can't I get my act together? like all of this stuff and it wasn’t, there's no intentionality. There's no choice. There's no ownership of your ability to make a decision. And that's when we feel out of control, we start to feel powerless, like we can't make changes in our life. So, when we create a feed plan, what's really important then, you guys are going to go through the content, so I'm not going to repeat all the content because it's really good content to go through, but you're going to create a feeling that you want. And you're going to create a strategy of how you're going to create that feeling. Recognizing that, again, what you really want is not to lose control. So the question isn't really like, do I eat half the burger or do I eat all the burgers? It’s like, can I be in a place where I'm making a decision and I'm owning my decision in the process? 

Camille 12:44 

Yeah, it sounds like, it's so like I've gone places before and eaten half and like felt really proud of myself and it felt really good. But I never went into it with intentionality, and I never went into it with, like, a certain headspace. So if I'm hearing you and understanding correctly, it's sounding like you're saying, get your mind right before going into it. 

Amber B 13:12 

Totally. Yes. And so, as you go through the FEED plan, one of the most important parts of creating a FEED plan is the D, which is the Debrief process. So, what, what often happens when we go through these experiences as we go, it's probably not new for a lot of people listening to be like I'm only going to eat half of the burger, right? I mean, we've probably done that before. But the problem is, is that a lot of times we'll go in and then, for whatever reason, we end up eating the whole burger, we didn't mean to, we felt really bad about it and that's the end of the experience. And what you're missing is that debrief process, which is where all of the lessons from that experience are gleaned. And so if you never stop and do a reflection on that experience, talk to yourself about what went well, what didn't go well, what was unexpected that you didn't, you that came up in you that maybe you didn't, weren't anticipating or whatever. If we don't ever go through that debrief process, what we end up doing is creating the same cycle over and over and over again, because there is a lesson present that we have been unable to learn because we never reflect on the experience and so I love to coach people through, through FEED processes and through that debrief process, because whether or not you come out on the other side of that burger experience feeling really good or feeling like, Hey, that didn't go how I wanted it to go. That debrief process is like, that's a win in my book because now we can debrief it and we can, we can either say, hey, this worked really well, I'm going to use this in the future or hey, I went in with this plan, some things came up that I wasn't expecting, but now I'm aware of them and the next time I create my plan, it's going to be a better plan and then I'm going to debrief that one and it's going to be a better plan. And when we come in with that expectation of, hey, I'm just, I'm just learning a little bit each time I go, each time I go to the burger joint, I'm learning a little bit more, I can create better plans in the future that are going to allow me to be more successful. So what I don't want for you is to put, put like all the stock of like the pressure on yourself that like this has to go perfectly. It, just as an experience and those lessons to be learned. And however, this experience goes, you're going to go in, you're gonna have a plan. You're gonna have a feeling you want to create, but we're going to debrief that process and we're going to learn from it. 

Camille 15:20 

So if I went, if so, I go to this place and I say with intention like I'm going to eat half the butter, half the fries, and I do it, and I'm successful at it, it feels good that like, what would the debriefing look like on a, I mean, obviously it's personal, different for everybody, but what would the, what would a debriefing look like on something like that?  

Amber B 15:47 

Well, I actually walk you like there's a debrief process, like walk you through inside of the modules like I gave you that that process, but essentially what you're doing is reflecting on if it went well, like what caused it to go well, you know, can identify that I went in with a certain headspace, kind of like you alluded to before. Can I when when I was asked a question of like hey, are you going to eat that second half? I had in my mind like my decision ahead of time, maybe that was really beneficial. Or I went to this place when I was making that decision. Like you're just, you're just doing some self-reflection on the tools and techniques that you use that were really beneficial to you. And of course, it's going to be different for everybody. It doesn't really matter what's beneficial for Stacy, it's like when I. 

Camille 16:26 

Right. 

Amber B 16:28 

Make a decision with my goals in mind, it turns out really well. So then now I know that's something I can use in the future to be able to continue to be more successful. 

Camille 16:38 

And is this something, because I just, I know I'm going to be there. My schedule is going to be different. I might not be able to make my own when I make every morning for myself or whatever. So is this something that I could do continuously while I'm there? Because I might have to do this like 10 times, you know?  

Amber B 16:54 

Yeah, so., what I recommend is creating a FEED plan for the whole time. You're going to create like, I want you to think about the feeling that you want to create at the end and then what I recommend is especially for like a longer vacation like this that you do like a mini debrief every night, right? It's like a reflection of like how did today go? What went really well? What threw me for a loop? What can I learn from that experience and how can I apply that to the next day? So that you're not waiting then to do the debrief until like 2 weeks later, it's gone by, it’s more of a like let me just check in with myself. And some days are gonna go, you're gonna be happier with some days than others, but again, it doesn't. If you do have a day that it's, it's not great. It's not what you wanted, that's fantastic, because now you get to glean those lessons. So and and those lessons are everything in order to allow you to be to get to that place where you're successful a 100% of the time. 

Camille 17:46 

Right.  

Amber B 17:48 

Make sense? 

Camille 17:49 

Yeah, that makes sense. 

Amber B 17:50 

OK, So what I would love for you to do is to go back through Module 2 specifically where I talk about the FEED plan, I believe it's Module 2.5 I'm looking at it right now, I think it's Module 2.5. Where I I talk about that. So create a FEED plan and then post it in the group so that we can help you kind of refine it or you know, figure out if there's like some missing pieces. And then that really important point is when you come back. Again, post it either take it to a coaching call or post it in circles so that we can help you, like do  that debrief process yourself. But then I'd love to, like, invite you to be able to be coached through that as well, because a lot of times we can help you to find lessons there that maybe you didn't realize in first glance. 

Camille 18:35 

So post it to receive coaching on it, right?  

Amber B 18:38 

Hmm, Yep, right. Exactly. Exactly.  Cool. Cool.  

Camille 18:43 

Thank you. 

Amber B 18:44 

You're welcome. 

Amber B 18:46 

I hope that that podcast episode gave you and that coaching conversation gave you a little bit to chew on and to maybe think about and consider about how you can be really intentional about that and own the choices that you are making in your own journey. Because let me tell you, it is a game changer when that can happen. If you enjoyed this episode, will you do me a favor and take 3 to 5 minutes to leave a rating and review on whatever platform you're listening on? That really helps the podcast get pushed out to and find the right people who would be interested in listening to podcast. I'm always grateful for people who consume free content and then look for a way to give back and one of the best ways that you can give back as a content creator is to either share the podcast episode or leave a rating and review. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber, now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.  

Outro

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