339: Counting Macros As A Full-Time Working Mom And Recovering Perfectionist with Andressa Linhares [I Did It Series]

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 339.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and today I have another I Did It Series podcast, which is where we bring women on who have our, well, in Andressa's case, she'll say this at the end of the podcast, are in the middle of doing it. So we call it the I Did It series, but Andressa makes the point at the end of the episode that she doesn't know that she's actually done it, but she is in the process of doing it. And I thought that was such a beautiful reframe because in reality, none of us are ever done. None of us ever, it's never like we like check that off. I accomplished and finished all of my goals. There's always kind of a next level to climb. And that's, what's exciting about your journey here in life is there's always somewhere else to grow, somewhere else to apply yourself and another mountain to climb.  

So anyway, today though, I am introducing Andressa Linhares and she is phenomenal. Her accent is beautiful to listen to, but we got into it today talking about, first of all, I brought her onto the podcast because she has a little bit more of a unique perspective. One, in coming from a different culture and a different background, she's Brazilian and she talks about a little bit of her upbringing in Brazil. And then two, she is a full-time working mom and has been very driven in her career, spends a lot of time and effort and energy in moving up in her career and being able to do what she does for work. And at the same time, having a kid and raising a child and having a partner as well. And I think, you know, there's a lot of different women out there listening. Some of you are stay-at-home moms. Some of you are working moms. Some of you are taking a break from the workforce. Some of you are retired and there's a whole range of experiences out there in terms of, you know, where you spend your time during the day. And each of those has their own unique challenges and your own unique issues that you're dealing with when it comes to figuring out how to make this fitness journey work for you. And of course, someone who like Andressa, who's a full-time working mom, you know, she works eight hours a day. She commutes for an hour and a half. It doesn't leave her a lot of time when it comes to figuring out how to figure out how to hit her macros and how to make sure that she has time for herself and get her workouts in and things like that. So bringing her onto the podcast to be able to give her experience and some of the things that she's learned on her journey, I thought was going to be really valuable for a lot of you listening.  

The other topic that we cover with Andressa, which I thought was so perfect, so perfect, is perfectionism. We talk a lot about perfectionism and that's something that Andressa has really identified in herself and has, you know, during MACROS 101 has worked to overcome some of those perfectionistic tendencies. And so we get into a really good conversation of how she's been able to do that and how she's been able to let go of some of that perfectionism. So if you're someone who either, you know, is a full-time working mom and/or struggles with perfectionism, then this episode is going to be a great listen for you. So without further ado, let's jump into the interview with Andressa. 

Amber B 03:45 

I'm so excited to welcome to the podcast Andressa. Andressa, how are you doing?  

Andressa Linhares 03:51 

Good. Good. How are you?  

Amber B 03:53 

I'm doing excellent. I'm very excited for people to hear your story and your accent. So this will be really fun. 

Andressa Linhares 03:59 

Yeah. I hope they can understand me.  

Amber B 04:01 

Oh, it's great. I could listen to it all day long. It's fantastic. Okay. First, let's start out a little bit of just like an introduction about you. You have a really cool upbringing, a little bit of a story there. Kind of walk us through who you are and where you come from. 

Andressa Linhares 04:15 

Sure. So yeah, the reason I have the accent is because I was born and I grew up in Brazil. I lived there until I was 24 years of age. I went to architecture school in Brazil. After I graduated, I moved to the States. I moved actually to Charlotte, North Carolina. And it was even when I found your account, you were living in North Carolina.  

Amber B 04:38 

Did you say you know I lived there? I was like close to you. 

Andressa Linhares 04:39 

Yeah. And it was only thing that I related to, right? I'm like, oh, cool. I like this girl is from North Carolina. And so anyway, I moved there and that's when I learned English properly, I'll say, like to be fluent. And I did a master's degree there. And when I graduated, I moved to Canada. So now I live in the area of Vancouver in British Columbia, Canada. 

Amber B 05:03 

That's really cool. What was your master's degree in?  

Andressa Linhares 05:05 

Business.  

Amber B 05:06 

In business. 

Andressa Linhares 05:07 

Yeah. 

Amber B 05:08 

You say that like it's boring. That's really exciting. 

Andressa Linhares 05:11 

Well, now I'm working on the architectural field. So, you know, it's not exactly business. It is a little bit. There is a business side of it, but it's not in depth.  

Amber B 05:20 

That's awesome. Tell us a little bit about growing up in Brazil. And specifically, I'm curious if there are any cultural differences in how nutrition or health or physical fitness is communicated to you in Brazil, growing up as a child in Brazil. What was that like for you? And then do you notice any like cultural differences between Brazilians and Americans?  

Andressa Linhares 05:43 

Yeah, I did, a lot. And obviously, this is always a personal experience, right? So maybe even my experience in North America, probably going to be very different to a lot of people that live in North America. But yeah, in my, in my perception, I was growing up in Brazil. There was a lot of pressure, much more than I see in North America for a woman, a physical appearance.  

Amber B 06:04 

Sure. Yeah. 

Andressa Linhares 06:07 

We know that we have, you know, Brazilian women have this kind of stereotype, right? That, you know, they're all beautiful models that like perfect body. And we're always walking around almost naked, showing a lot of skin, which in parts is true. Like, obviously, you have more of that, like our even the style of clothes that we wear are more provocative, in a way. So you expose your body more. I feel that a society in general, it's a little bit more misogynist that, you know, it's more open, at least that males talk about your physical appearance or physical appearance of other women very openly. Hopefully, that changed. Again, I left Brazil 20 years ago. So I think hopefully, things change.  

Amber B 06:51 

Hopefully, they've improved since then.  

Andressa Linhares 06:52 

Yeah. So there was all of that aspect. And even obviously, with the media as well. And to me, there was two types of stereotypes that you could kind of follow. One is the supermodel, right? Because I'm from the generation, I was a teenager in the 90s, when there was all of these Brazilian supermodels, like everybody knows Gisele Bündchen, right? Like, obviously, we knew her as a model and many, many others. And I don't know where it came from. But there was kind of like these magic numbers that every woman should have to be a supermodel. 

So it's something that like converted to pounds, based on your height, like my height in meters is a meter and 62, 63. So that's like five foot three. And then there is this magic formula that I had to weigh 20 kilograms less to be considered like a model. So that would be like 44 pounds. So just for contest, I was weighting 125 pounds. So I wasn't really, you know, overweighted for my height or my body type. But if I wanted to be a model, I will have to weigh 92 pounds. So, 

Amber B 07:56 

What?! WTH 

Andressa Linhares 07:57 

Yeah. So that's kind of like, okay, so you know, if you want to go the route and I have many friends, they were trying to do the route or trying like I could never even do it because I'm way even too short. I needed to grow a lot more than I have. And I have to lose a lot of weight to do it. But that was one stereotype. And the other one then was pretty much that you have to have like this tiny little waist and big hips. Yeah. Right. And my body type is also not that like, I don't have that shape. 

Amber B 08:26 

Hourglass. 

Andressa Linhares 08:27 

Yeah, hourglass shape. So I, I was always very conscious of my, my abdominal area, compared to my friends, because many of them have that, that I didn't have. And you see, you know, the television, again, they have many, many examples of woman dancing and things like that with, with that kind of stereotype. And it was commented all around. Yeah. Everyone around.  

Amber B 08:51 

So interesting. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think we think Americans are like the only ones who are obsessed with looks, but I think, I mean, it extends to so many other countries in the world. And yeah, there is this stereotype of Brazilian women, like these goddesses, these beauties, right? Yeah. With the big hips and the big glutes and like small, tiny waist. And yeah, I, you know, I can just see like growing up in that culture. And if your body type is not, I mean, that is a body type, right?  

Andressa Linhares 05:14 

Exactly. There's nothing you can do about it. 

Amber B 09:17 

Yeah. It's like you picked the wrong parents. I'm sorry. Like you're not going to have that, that, that look. I can see how that can be really, you know, challenging to grow up in for sure. So let's kind of fast forward a couple, you know, couple of years, couple of decades, and you came and you joined us in this last round of MACROS 101. So where were you at? What were you struggling with? Like what made you want to make that, that leap into the program?  

Andressa Linhares 09:39 

Yeah, it took me a long time, actually, because like I said,  

Amber B  09:42

Yeah, if found you found me and I was North Carolina. We're talking a while.  

Andressa Linhares 09:46 

Oh, yeah, it was a while back. Well, when you're like chasing your six pack, like, I follow all of that. And I've been following you since. And, and that intrigued me at the time once was because of the North Carolina thing. And other years, because that's what I was chasing, too. I was chasing, you know, small in a way, and I was you are the first person that I ever heard about macros. So you're the one that like introduced it to me. 

And I struggle honestly, at the beginning, when I found you, I was like, Okay, I'll try to do this, right. And I tried to just get this tiny little content, content that I can get online and do my own research and try to come up. And then I was one of those sad people. They're like, not eating enough protein. So at the end of the day, I'm just having like a breast chicken for dinner. Right, right. Or waking up like all of those concussions. I don't know. cottage cheese with so many different things that did not taste good. It wouldn't be sustainable at all. I would do it for a week and like, gross, I cannot eat this anymore. 

Amber B 10:43 

Yeah, yeah. 

Andressa Linhares 10:43 

So it was a long learning curve, me trying to just learn on my own in a way. And, and that went for a while. And then you know, I was just like, just drop everything because it's too hard, right. And they get unhappy where I am and then try a little bit again, and then start following somebody else new, get more content. Obviously, even with that Instagram and all like the content creation became so much bigger, so much better. Yeah, you can get so much information. If you're following the right people, you can, you can definitely learn about things. And that's what I did. Then I, when was the next? Yeah, then I got pregnant in 2018, kind of drop everything again, right. And after that, after having my son, and then I started working on my accreditation for architecture here in Canada that took a lot of extra time outside my my work hours. And again, a little bit of weight because I was sitting so much in front of a computer just doing that. And the day that I submit all of my applications, so like the hard work was mostly done. 

I signed up with a one on one coach, just another girl from Instagram that I kind of identify with. And, and I know that I heard you say that before, because she was this kind of coach, like nothing like she had a, she had a good a good content, and she had a good formula, but she gave me all of this list of things to do. You know, that was one was super overwhelming, because trying to hit all of those marks off the bat was a lot. Yeah. And, and then when I was struggling, it was almost like, I don't know what you want me to tell you, Like, I told you what to do. 

Amber B 12:20 

Just do it. Yeah, is that hard? 

Andressa Linhares 12:23 

Yeah, exactly. Like, kind of like I do it, but what do you mean you cannot do it, right? So there was a little bit of that. And even when I was like, on my week, five or six, it was like, I signed up was a four months here. And I was on my week five, you know, when kind of like your motivation just starts dropping, right? And you're struggling not seeing results. And she's like, Oh, yeah, I cannot help you this week, because I'm going to Disneyland with my family. So, you know, when I come back, no, which I get it, everybody needs vacation and all right. But I felt like, okay, like, you could have told me that before. I don't know. I should have known before. Maybe you should have made arrangements to somebody cover you.  

Amber B 13:05 

Sure. Yeah.  

Andressa Linhares 13:06 

Something. But anyway, I kind of lost faith on the coaching for a while. And, and then I didn't do anything. Just I was so disappointed. And I was mad at myself for spending the money, right? Because it was, it was pretty much what I spent on MACROS 101. I was spending each month with her. So I just left it for a while. And then I was like, okay, I heard you something on Instagram about the, not MACROS 101, Confidence On Your Numbers in December. And then I'm like, well, you know, it was like $99 or something. I'm like, well, I kind of want to, I need to know more in depth. I'm like, I'll give it a try. I'll give Amber a try. And I did add, I did the, the, that, that webinar. And I love it. I think you gave me so many tools to start. And then I was like, okay, I'll have a plan. I will start with the confidence on my numbers. I'm going to calculate, like I'm going to, it was December. So I was like, I'm going to just track what I'm eating right now. 

And then starting on this in January, I'll have my maintenance number and I will follow maintenance until MACROS 101. That was my plan. Yeah. So that's, that's what I've done to start MACROS 101. But at the time, yeah, I don't know, it was, that decision was made on that moment. But honestly, many years before I thought about enrolling, but it was always like, oh, it's so expensive. You know, like, it kind of like, should I spend this money? Like I would spend that money on my son. On a heartbeat. On a heartbeat. Yeah. Right. And sometimes even if I buy something, I don't know, hair product or makeup, whatever it is. And I, you know, I would look back after and like, gosh, like this is, was half the price that I could have done it. Right. It took me a long time to, to pull the trigger for sure. I did your five day challenge last year, just listening to it, not really doing the exercises. And last, yeah, last year was, I think it was April, March, April. So it took me a whole year. Right. And then I did it again this year, but then this time I did it like doing the exercises, printing everything out. And then I love it. I got a lot of value. So I got a lot of reinforcement from those other programs before that MACROS 101 would be a good fit for me.  

Amber B 15:21 

That's awesome. That's so great. And so one of the reasons that, you know, we had talked about wanting to have you on was to like have some representation for some different, different experiences in life. So, you know, we, everyone has unique challenges and working through those unique challenges is obviously part of your journey, but what were some of those unique challenges for you when it came to counting macros, when it came to the program, when it came to like making this work for you and your lifestyle?  

Andressa Linhares 15:53 

Yeah, I have two, like two that were the major ones. One is time, which I know I'll, I'll expand on it. I know that everybody talks about time, but just being, you know, working full time and I work mostly presidential right in office with no, no downtime at all on the contrary. But one time and the other is just like the mental loads, like the overwhelming feeling that sometimes that can cause. Right. So yeah, I've been working full time for a very long time. And then you throw in on the mix, having a kid, right. And I have a spouse too. So obviously I know everybody has those things. They have no, how much time that can take, you know, the obligations that you can have. And it's really a balancing game. Right. And with me, especially on the past years that I was taking my accreditation in architecture. So I know your husband, you went through with your husband to become a doctor. I don't know if a lot of people know this, but like to become an architect, it's as long and as time consuming as, as becoming a doctor because it's a highly regulated profession. Right. So, you know, as I say before, when I was working on that, I was working after hours, just on my application, many weekends to you could to my husband, you know, to help me with my kids. So I was able to do that, but just the working full time as already 40 hours a week, at least if not more, I have to commute to work. So it's not an hour and a half or so they'll lose every day. 

And something that I didn't notice before the pandemic, because then obviously we're working remotely at that time. It's just how much time also takes just to get ready in the morning, you know, you need to be presentable. Right. And I have washed my hair way more than I did, or at least do my hair way more than I was doing it in the pandemic. And all that is time. It's time that counts on your routine. Right. So you look at the end of the week, you know, it's easily close to 50 hours a week that I had to dedicate to my work. And I love what I do. I'm lucky about that. It's a big part of who I am. I don't want to give that up, but it puts a lot of pressure on the weekends. And even though I go home, then, you know, my focus is my son until he goes to bed. I watch half an hour TV and that's it. Right. That's my day. I wake up before five o'clock every morning. My first alarm is at 4:45. And that's my only like downtime, I would say. I'm a slow riser. So I like to scroll Instagram for like half an hour, just having my cup of coffee. And then I get ready, do my exercise, shower, you know, get ready for the day and start a day. Right. So I don't really have downtime to do anything else. So I have to do a lot of things on weekends, like even chores, laundry, that kind of stuff. Grocery shopping. So coming to have to think about and plan the meals and cook on a meal prep. All of that is great. I understand the value of that, but it puts a lot of pressure and mental pressure as well, because I already worked a whole week and now I have all of these chores to do while still attending to my son's, you know, schedule and his activities. Right. My husband, my friends, like trying to balance all of that. And also just having some downtime because everybody needs some time to just space out, I guess, or just relax. So that was always a big challenge for me.  

Amber B  19:16 

So, because I know that there are some people who are listening who are like, yes, I feel the same way, Andressa, right, right there with you. I don't feel like I have a lot of downtime. I know everybody feels like they don't have enough time, but there are some people who really are much more hyper-scheduled and they're really resonating with this being like, yes. So the question becomes like, how did, how do you figure out that balance? And what, you know, obviously this is not going to be the same for everybody, but what works for you in terms of doing all the things that you need to do at work, taking care of your kid, being a spouse, and also being able to reach for some of these fitness goals, eat the food that you wanted to eat, get your exercise in, like what has worked for you and being able to make time for that and find that balance for yourself?  

Andressa Linhares 20:00 

Yeah. Yeah. The first thing that I found time for myself was the exercise. So that started like in 2022 that I started being regular again. I was always regular before I had my son, but then obviously with that, and then throughout the pandemic and the mix and all that, everything went out of the window. So I started, and I always like exercise in the morning. It just gives me a good energy and a good flow for the day. So I just started waking up earlier and earlier just to make that fit. And I exercise from home little by little. I just got a little bit of equipment and machinery and stuff just for the convenience, again, just having a small kid so he can be sleeping right in the next room while I do it. And I signed up for one of those online apps, right? Now there's so many of them. So I signed up for one that I really, really like. I also found her on Instagram about the same time that I found you. And I liked that because then I don't have to think about it, right? I just open my app and I just do my exercise. It has options for 30 minutes or 60 minutes. I typically do the 30 because it takes me like 45 minutes. And I just do that. I can just like push it through it. That's usually the moment that I'm listening to your podcast. You are like my gym buddy.  

Amber B 21:14 

I love it. Yeah. 

Andressa Linhares 21:14 

And I can do that regularly, not perfectly, but regularly. And so that was number one. And then I always struggle with food, right? Because that to me was the hardest part just because I like to eat.  

Amber B 21:36 

Well, you don't have a lot of time to prepare it and meal prep. There is a lot of time that goes into that process.  

Andressa Linhares 21:43 

There is a lot of time. And there is another part too that I am a terrible cook. I can't even call myself a cook. My mom never really liked it as well. So she never really taught me how to cook. And in Brazil, it's very common for our biggest meal of the day is lunchtime. And they have those restaurants everywhere. That's actually very convenient. They have healthy food, normal food, almost like home cooked food. But you pay by weight. So it's like a buffet. You make your plate. And then you weight your plate and you pay for that. So it has a lot of vegetables, a lot of salads. And I understand my mom's been eating on that for, I don't even know, 25, 30 years. They go every day. Even now, just her and my dad, they go and do that. So I never really properly learned. So that's already a problem. Then my husband, he was a trained chef. He doesn't work like that anymore, but he went to school to become a chef. He worked in a French restaurant for a while. So that means that he likes to cook. He cooks a lot, but I have to control him on the butter.  

Amber B 22:46 

I was going to say French food, man. It's like high butter. It's all the butter. 

Andressa Linhares 22:51 

It's all the butter. And obviously he also loves to eat and eat good food. 

Amber B 22:52 

Yeah.  

Andressa Linhares 22:56 

So he doesn't have the patience to weight things for me. We try it. It didn’t went well.  

Amber B 23:04 

I get it. I get it. And if someone else is cooking for me and they're not going to, I'm not going to argue because you're cooking for me.  

Andressa Linhares 23:12 

Yeah. So I just tell him to save, you know, like whatever, if it's a can or something, just save me it. I put it aside, whatever you can, then I can scan it. And he just write to me all of the ingredients. He write me on a piece of paper, kind of tells me the quantity, right? Because he likes to be, you know, he says the fun is being a little bit more empiric when cooking, not baking, but when cooking. So I feel that, okay, again, it's not perfect, but it gives me a base. So he cooks a lot, way more than me, but I try to prepare myself my lunches if I can. He may barbecue with chicken or something, you know, some protein for me, prepare some protein for me because he's way better than me on that. Mine doesn't taste as good. But I try them, easy things. I like to prepare my salad. So I buy a lot of produce on the weekend and wash everything out and chop everything on the weekend and prepare my lunches for the week. I got some ready-made oatmeal at Costco, those Kodiak oatmeal individual packs. I have it on my locker in my office here. Like I have boxes of that, so I can just have that for breakfast at work. I bring yogurt. So, you know, it took me years, but I started finding things that I like that are also easy to prepare. And obviously if I need to, I can rely on protein shakes. I can rely on protein bars, right? I try not to, I usually don't have to anymore because I learned how to introduce protein on every meal.  

Amber B 24:36 

Good. Yeah. Yeah. And I think there's a lot of really important lessons to pull out from what you just said. Like one, what I heard is that it took you time to figure this out, right? It's like, you, this didn't just, it wasn't just like a flip of a switch. It's like, you figured out, oh, I can store those oatmeal packets in my, at work. Oh, I can, if we make some extra chicken, I can put it on my salad. Oh, like you kind of just figured this out. And I think sometimes people really just want to snap their fingers and like completely change their lifestyle. And it's not, it's not how it works. Like this is much more realistic, especially when you're strapped for time, especially when you have a busy lifestyle, it's like, we're not going to be able to overhaul your lifestyle at in one moment. But what we can do is over time, figure out those things that are going to work for you and are going to work for your lifestyle.  

And then the other thing that I heard in that too, that I really just want to highlight for people who are listening is that you let go of this idea that it has to be perfect, right? Some people, if their husband was making them a meal and they couldn't weigh and track everything, they would just be like, oh, I just, I just can't even track it at all. Right. And like, you're like, listen, save your bean, save your bean jars. Tell me about how much butter you put into it. And we're just going to like get as close as possible. And, and letting that like idea that it has to be perfect in order to mean anything or matter is, is such a vital hill for so many women to cross because they just throw their hands up and be like, well, I'm not, I'm not, he's not going to weigh it. So how am I supposed to track this? 

Andressa Linhares 26:01 

Yeah. And honestly, I've been there to be honest. I've been there many times and anyone's like, well, I cannot track it. Just like throw out of the window. And then usually throw out of the window to me. It's not just one day. It becomes like a month. 

Amber B 26:11 

Of course. Yeah. It's never just like one moment. It's like dinner and then the next day and then the next month.  

Andressa Linhares 26:17 

Yeah, exactly. And I can say, I am a perfectionist in recovery. Um, you know, um, I, to this day, reflecting back, I think it's one of the reasons why I, I move countries, you know, is one of the reasons why I left Brazil and then I left the States to come to Canada is just like chasing, you know, I guess perfection in my life, you know, and I wasn't getting what I, I, I wanted, I guess, or yeah, things weren't just perfect. I would just run away in a way. Um, something that I had to learn, right. With time and, uh, and even with this, yeah, even with tracking and all, like everything that you could describe it, I went through all of those phases for sure. And I consider myself a perfectionist in recovery. I keep telling myself, you know, that I don't have to be perfect, right. I have to fight against that instinct of trying to be perfect and checking all the boxes and doing all the things at the same time. So I feel that that's related to your question to me too, because yeah, that's, that's the other thing that I figured, like I can, it is a lot of low, a mental load, even in time on my weekends to do all of this. I cannot do that every single weekend, you know? So I'd kind of have to figure out even if I just going to do something extremely fast and quick, kind of sacrifice a little bit of my lunches that way, right. 

It's not going to be the tastiest or with, I don't know, the one that I'm really looking forward lunch every day. Um, but I have to kind of balance it out and kind of like, okay, my son really needs me this weekend for any reason at all. Right. Or either because of his schedule, which is I can see he's fussy, he's, he's missing me. So I kind of like put this on the back burner. Right. And then my priority, cause we hear so much about priority. Like if you're making a priority, you're going to make it happen. You got to make your fitness a priority. You've got to make, but it's not all the time. I think it's impossible for us to balance it out and do it all the time.  

Amber B 28:13 

Yeah. Not, I would say not everything can be a priority at all times.  

Andressa Linhares 28:16 

Exactly.  

Amber B 28:17 

And like, when you do that, you, you burn yourself out. And so I do think life happens much more in cycles where it's like right now, this is the priority. And that means some other things have to fall a little bit lower on my priority. And maybe in a couple of months that will be a little higher priority. And I think that's such a healthier, more balanced way to live rather than, I think that perfectionistic idea is like, well, everything should always be a priority and I should be able to do it all.  

Andressa Linhares 28:40 

Exactly. Yeah. 

Amber B 28:41 

We, we think that we can just be superheroes. Um, okay. So when we're looking at what happened during your MACROS 101 experience, what were some of those aha moments? What were some of the, um, results that you created during that period of time?  

Andressa Linhares 28:56 

Right. So my biggest aha moment was, um, about the floor and ceiling goal that you describe it. Uh, I heard so many times, you know, it's very common on Instagram. All influencers use the phrase as something is better than nothing. And to me, that was always a little too vague. I never knew what something really means. And I also, I don't know, it always had like a more negative, um, connotation kind of like, yeah, I couldn't, I couldn't achieve my goals. So I did something. Right.  

Amber B 29:28 

It's like, man didn't do enough. 

Andressa Linhares 29:30 

Exactly. Yeah. It's just like, well, at least I did something. Right. So, uh, and then you came on MACROS 101 and explained to us about the floor and ceiling goals. So I'll give an example, my exercise, right. My program is five days a week and that's what I aim for. Like that's going to be my spot on perfect week. Uh, but things happen. Sometimes I have to be at work early or my son needs me, or I'm not feeling well. I, and I ended up doing three days. So that's, that's my minimum goal, right? So even if I get on the weekend and I didn't do my second or third day, then I do it on the weekend and that's my floor goal. 

Amber B 30:04 

Yeah. And so what that does is it really shifts your perspective from feeling like you didn't do enough to at least celebrating that, which you did. And then that's the idea of like flooring ceiling goals is like, yes, you want to set that, that ceiling goal. Cause that would be, that's what you want. You want to do the five days. But if, if you can't do that, having that floor goal, like I am committed to whatever happens doing the three days a week, then it is still a win of, of getting that three days in. And so I love this concept of setting floor and ceiling goals for clients, because it does allow you some of that wiggle room and some of that grace and the ability to be able to celebrate what you did do rather than focusing on what you didn't do.  

Andressa Linhares 30:41 

Yeah. And that's, uh, there was lots of these tools and MACROS 101, there was just a mental shift, you know, instead of seeing things as either a loss, like I didn't do it, I didn't do it perfectly. So it didn't count kind of thing. There is a lot of mental shifts and a lot of tools that you use, uh, to see the progress, right. Even when you, you didn't achieve your ultimate goal, um, what is the same actually for my results, right? Because, um, I did the, I did the, um, confidence in your numbers in December and I wasn't maintained so long, like my plan all along, I wanted to have help doing my cut. 

So my plan since then was, okay, I'm going to start a cut when I started MACROS 101, cause I want to help with that. And obviously I had goals, you lose weight. Um, and I knew going in now with the experience that I have, I knew that I wouldn't get to my final, uh, a final result on the amount of time that we had. Um, but I still got results, right. And, you know, before I will see that as not a win because I did not achieve my final goal, right. But with the program, with the help of the program and the tools and the perspective that you and the other coaches give us, uh, I definitely consider a win, right. So I did, I ended up doing a five weeks cut and I lost five pounds on those five weeks.  

Amber B 31:56 

It's awesome. So awesome. Um, one of the things I would love for you to speak about a little bit, because I know that there's a lot of women who similar to you may consider themselves perfectionists or perfectionists in recovery. And one of the things that I know that you kind of discovered throughout the process of MACROS 101 is like where some of that perfectionistic tendencies come from. Um, so I'm wondering if you're willing to share a little bit about that, just so other women, maybe you have the aha of like, maybe they're similar to you and in realizing, Oh, this is kind of where it stems from. 

Andressa Linhares 32:24 

Like why, why am I a perfectionist?  

Amber B 32:27 

Yeah. Yeah.  

Andressa Linhares 32:28 

Uh, I always was a perfectionist. Like now looking back, I can tell that since I was a kid, uh, it sounds so stupid and especially to say publicly it is on the internet, but I remember clearly being a kid and if things were, I don't know, it wasn't perfect on something, I will literally spin around and kind of like, okay, starting now, you know, just like, just kind of like a do over, right? Because it has to be perfect. And, and I always had those tendencies, right? Like, uh, even as a student and all, I was always, you know, A student just because I was always reaching for the highest grade, like the highest everything. I was always driven that way, which is not a bad thing to be. 

Uh, just, you can be too hard on yourself for sure. And, um, and then, yeah, I feel that I move around so much, um, because I wanted to start over my life. It's not a perfect life someplace else, kind of like running away from, I guess, things that are not perfect until we go off the wisdom in a way that, uh, you know, life is not perfect. It's messy and it's fine. Right. It's, it's, you know, it doesn't have to be perfect. 

Amber B 33:37 

Yeah. And you had shared too, um, some realizations of like fear of success, as maybe playing a role in that as well, which I think sometimes people don't realize we kind of mentally understand the fear of failure. And that kind of makes sense to us, but people are like, why would I be afraid of success? But that is a very common root cause of this idea of perfectionism is like, you're actually kind of scared of what success will entail or what it will cost or what it will mean. 

Andressa Linhares 34:01 

Yeah. And that, that was a big one for me. And I had, uh, I had that discussion on circle, right. With one of the coaches, um, she went in depth to me, which I really appreciate. It was really, really helpful. And I was just digging for reasons that, uh, why I sabotage myself. Like I know what I want. I feel that I have the drive and then suddenly I'm not following what I know is right. So you need a lot of self-reflection, I think.

Amber B 34:29 

Yeah.  

Andressa Linhares 34:30 

To really be successful. You know, it's something when you enter in a, you know, in a program like this for whatever reason, to lose weight or gain weight, whatever anyone is looking for, uh, you're doing something for yourself and the better, you know, yourself and know your reasoning behind things, the largest are your chances of succeeding on that and achieving that. 

Amber B 34:51 

Yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. Uh, and I think figuring that out for yourself of like, what, where is this stemming from? And I think some of it is upbringing, right? I think you noticed, I saw this back when I was a little kid, right. And it's come with me. And, and I also, for people who do identify with that perfectionistic, um, mentality, which like I'm one of them, I'm like type a 4.0, like do everything perfect. So I, I resonate with this and there are a lot of positive aspects of it, right? Like I was a 4.0 student. I was valedictorian. I did get into a really good school. So like you see some of those things that you're able to accomplish because of that perfectionism. And, and it is hard to then realize that it can bring good things into your life. And then there's a dark side of it. And the dark side of it can be a really dark side of having everything to be perfect, holding yourself to a center. It's never good enough. Always like looking ahead, never appreciating what it is that you have a lot, you know, keeps you in the state of like never being happy because it's always about, I'm never quite good enough. I'm never quite there. It's, it's never quite right. Um, and so I think a lot of us can relate to that, that, uh, concept and as in an adulthood, waking up to this idea of like, it really was beneficial for me in some areas of my life. And it's really holding me back in other areas of my life as well. 

Andressa Linhares 36:03 

Yeah, for sure. And I actually, I have two things that happened during MACROS 101 that I think it's very relevant to this. One is I always had my whole life. I always had, you know, like clothes that I want to wear or something that I want to, that I don't even buy because I'm like, ah, when I lose the weight, you know, like I don't have the body for that. Right. And, and I'm honest, I'm not even that overweight or anything. It's just like my personal preference, like what I want to look like. And then, uh, during MACROS 101 with all of the mental work that's done, they have on the modules. And, uh, I went like one of the examples is I went in for summertime and I went in, um, white jeans, right? Like some white jeans. And I haven't bought that for years because I'm like, oh, my hips are too big. My thighs are gigantic. I don't really want to accentuate that when I lose the weight, I'll get one. And I honestly been doing this for, I don't even know how many years, many, many years. And I saw one on the store and I'm like, I want to try it on and I like it. And I'm like, you know what, what am I saving this for? Right. Let's, let's do it now. Let's, let's be comfortable in this body now. Let's not wait for it. 

And that was one of the things that came from MACROS 101 and kind of let it go this perfectionism is they have to have the perfect, whatever. I imagine that one day I will have hips and ties to wear that. And the other thing too, is even with the fear of success, not just fear of success, but just like wanting to be this perfect person. Um, I was debating, I wanted to bring a scale to my office because I spend so much time here. I, you know, eat three meals a day here, like with lunch in the morning, lunch and afternoon lunch. And I wanted to bring a scale. Right. And I was just like, so concerned with everybody going to know it's more than like, they will know that I'm on a diet in quotes. And what happens if I don't succeed? Or even if I succeed and then I gained the weight back, like I started just spiraling right on those scenarios. But, uh, I came in again because of the mentorship that I had within the program. I'm like, you know what, I don't care what other people think. Like, this is going to help me with my goals. I'm like laser focused on this now I'm doing it. And to my surprise, when people see some people are very confused, why, why am I like putting milk on my coffee and waiting? Like some people are very confused, but I had many other people to my surprise that came in like, oh, I love my food too. And you know, man and woman, all kinds of ages. And I'm just surprised. And I'm like, cool. Like, you know, I never expected. And there's other people that relate with this.  

Amber B 38:37 

Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's not weird. It's relatable. It's like people understand, like they get it, which I think is so, so important for us to remember. Um, okay. Last question for you, if you could, you know, there's going to be women who are listening, who really resonate with you, other working moms, other people who are struggling with perfectionism. If you can send one message out to those women as kind of a inspirational or motivational or message that would make a difference maybe for them, what would that message be?  

Andressa Linhares 39:06 

My first advice is to throw out any timeline because I feel as a perfectionist, I feel that we think that if we plan well enough, we can reach whatever goal, you know, whatever timeline we do. 

Amber B 39:19 

That's right. That's right.  

Andressa Linhares 39:22 

But the problem is we can't control everything, right? And you have a lot of aspects that you can control and you just put a lot of pressure on yourself, uh, having timelines. And, um, this is something I was even thinking when I received your email, like, ah, who wants to be on the, you know, um, I did it and I don't feel that I did it. I'm doing it.  

Amber B 39:43 

You're doing it. Yeah, I love that.  

Andressa Linhares 39:45 

I'm doing it. Uh, because even when I listened to many of this, um, podcasts with other, uh, ladies before that done the program and, uh, I always, I don't know, in my head, I always imagined them like they did it, you know, they accomplished the ultimate goal. They've done it. Yeah. And, uh, I feel that I'm still in the middle of my journey. Right. So, uh, I, yeah, I really feel that, um, throwing out any timeline that you may have, uh, it's one thing because this, there is no finish line. You, you always doing and you, even when you achieve whatever goal you have, you're going to have a new goal. And you are to me, you are one of those clear examples because I follow you. I follow you trying to get as lean as possible. I getting your six pack, you accomplish all that. And then you just focus to something else. And I know that I would do the same thing, you know, uh, when I accomplish and just, uh, lean up as the way that I want to, I know that I'm going to come with a new goal, right? Cause we are driven that way. 

Amber B 40:45 

That's right. That's so good.  

Andressa Linhares 40:48 

And I definitely, the other thing to you, I would say to anyone, just when you start tracking to start tracking a maintenance, cause that was my biggest mistake. I was always, always that I tried to track when I was like, track, no track, track, no track. I was tracking every time that I went in a cut, but then you don't have any buffer. Um, you know, you don't have the flexibility this past months that I did tracking maintenance tracking became so much easier than the other times that I tried, because you, you have the wiggle room. You can adjust things. You can like something and expect to happen. You can find, you can play the macro statics game and find the macros for it. And that makes my, my cut a lot easier.  

Amber B 41:32 

That's so good. Yeah. Those are both great, great tips to send to the women who are listening. So thank you so much. This has been awesome. Thanks Andressa for coming on. Thanks for sharing your story.  

Andressa Linhares 41:41 

Thank you for having me. 

Amber B 41:42 

Yes. It was awesome. And thanks for all of your wisdom too. This is a great episode. 

Andressa Linhares 41:47 

Great, thank you.  

Amber B 41:48 

I hope you enjoyed that interview. If you are interested on getting onto the interest list for MACROS 101, you can go to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist, and you can get on that list and you'll know the next time that we open doors for that program to be able to join. If you like this episode, if you like the podcast, please take a moment and leave a rating and review on whatever platform it is that you're listening on. That really helps the podcast to be able to get into the ears of people who would appreciate it and people who enjoy and appreciate this content. So if you've done that, thank you so much for being a loyal Biceps After Babies Radio listener. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

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