324: Are Weekends Sabotaging Your Progress? 5 Secrets For Success

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 324.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and this topic is one that is a very requested topic. It's one I coach on a lot inside of MACROS 101 and it's something that I find a lot of women really struggle with when it comes to their macro counting journey, their fitness journey, being able to develop some sort of consistency and that is the weekends. I find that a lot of women are really able to string today to gather days of consistency Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday to Thursday and then you hit that Friday, Saturday, Sunday and it's just like the wheels come off. There's a lot more spontaneous thing going on. We have, you know, dinners out and friends and parties and things like that just so many women lose it over the weekends, and then they're right back there on Monday having to restart. 

How my unhealthy eating habits started 01:38 

And listen. I know this. I know this path well because I have tried it myself. I found myself very much in this same pattern, especially like I remember back to college specifically where I got these kicks where I for sure gained, first of all, I for sure gained the freshman 15 and probably then some when I went away to college and I I just had like unlimited access to all the food that I could ever want because I was a freshman on campus, eating in the, you know, dining hall and I quickly gained weight and so during that freshman year I gained quite a bit of weight and was not. That was not. I was not used to that. I came from a family where we ate a lot of chicken, we ate a lot of vegetables. My parents have always been pretty health conscious with how they have fed us. And so it was anyway, that whole experience was very unique. Having gained so much weight. And so I remember this was in my sophomore year. And I was to the point where I had gained this weight and I wanted to lose it. I wanted to get rid of it. And so, you know, I only knew what I knew and what I knew was you just needed to eat cleaner, right? You just need to cut out all unclean foods, right? So anything that's processed, anything that's like dessert. I just needed to cut all those things out and I and and sugar, right. That was the other thing that I knew was like OK, cut out, sugar. Cut out all the unclean foods and I'll be able to lose this freshman 15. 

And I remember I Monday I would do great right Mondays are great. Tuesday. I would do great Wednesday. It was like, OK, I was kind of getting a little tired of maybe, you know, say no to a couple of things, or like having the same like broccoli and chicken and whatever I was cooking for myself at the time as a sophomore off campus. And then Thursday, it was getting a little bit harder because, you know, I was kind of a little tired of again exerting my willpower to eat only the clean foods and and we were also starting to roll into the weekend and it was like by the time we got to Friday, that was when everybody wanted to go out. That was when my roommates would order pizza. That was when there would be a dance with, like, free food on campus. You know, you, you know, I don't have to tell you. That was when all of the things which are happening and that was when my willpower was really being tested. And because I had exerted so much willpower throughout the whole week. Because it wasn't like, like on Monday, someone would offer me something or, you know, there would be some food somewhere on campus. But I had a reservoir of willpower that was like, filled and so on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. It was easier to say no to those things, but every time I said no, it was like a little bit of that willpower was being drained off. And by the time I got to Friday, I didn't have much willpower left. And it was like everybody else was doing it. Everybody else was having pizza and did I want to be like the weird person that wasn't having pizza? And I really wanted the pizza. So I've been telling myself all week I couldn't have pizza, giving it up and it's like by the time we get to the weekend, I was just exhausted and tired from saying no. And so then I would eat the pizza because my roommate had ordered it and we were all hanging out on Friday night, you know, talking and whatever. And I remember, I remember this very clearly. Some of those nights going to bed, like, just sick. And I was partially sick cause I I like didn't just eat one piece of pizza, but it was like if I was going to do it and I was going to go off my diet, then I might as well do it. You know what I mean? Like if I'm gonna go you know, that's how we think. Weird. You know, our brains do weird things to us, but it was like if I was going to eat one slice of pizza, I might as well just eat 12 slices. I mean, I'm exaggerating, but like, 4 slices? Heck yes. And you know, I've already broken my diet, so I might as well eat all four slices, and then I'll get back on my diet the next day. 

Struggling with food and consistency 05:32 

And I remember going to bed, and I felt sick because one, I gorged myself on this food that I had restricted and that I wasn't allowed to have. But then I also felt sick because and I felt like well, there we go again. I just let myself down. I, you know, didn't stick to what I said. I was going to do. I'm never going to be able to lose the freshman 15, right. And and round around those cycle that on that circle and then you know, part of me was like, OK, well, I'll, I'll start again tomorrow. But then tomorrow's Saturday. So Saturday, we probably have something that's going on and you know? And then come Sunday and again, these are all like more unstructured days because we don't have school. And so by that point it's just like, well, I'll just restart again Monday, so that's what I'd do and I would start again Monday and I would tell myself this week, this week's going to be different, why I don't know it never was, but I told myself that was the lie I told myself this week's going to be different and then I would go through the same pattern again Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Great. Stay on track. Feeling good. I can do this Friday, fall flat on my face. Saturday, Sunday. Repeat on Monday. And I have to imagine I'm not the only person who has had that cycle and that experience, and it can feel really hard to get out of, it can feel really challenging to figure out how the heck do I not only develop consistency during the weekdays, but how do I develop that consistency over the weekends? Because on some level we all know you can't just like four days a week is just not going to cut it. If you have four days a week where you're on and three days a week where you're not on, it's almost half of the time that you're spending not working towards your goals like you're not going to make a whole lot of progress, you're going to take like four steps forward and three steps back and maybe even 5 steps back. 

So that we got to get ourselves out of this this cycle that so many of us find ourselves caught in. But the answer is how? Right. I think a lot of us are aware that we struggle on the weekends. We've identified the problem. We don't have a solution. And so that's what I kind of want to speak to today is talking through 5 tips that I have to be able to improve your consistency over the weekend, be able to, you know, string those days together, string those days of consistency together so that we can get more than just four in a row, then we can start to string it together with five and then maybe six, and then maybe seven and then maybe what we string it together with eight and we like felt really good about the weekend that we have and how amazing would that be. So I have 5 tips that I coach a lot of my clients through inside of MACROS 101 and I want to share those with you today in order to help maybe improve your consistency and make the weekends a little bit better. So, let’s dive in! 

Just a caveat 08:13 

All right tip number 1, Oh actually, before I dive in, I just want to make a caveat that this, like the tips that I'm going to give you, are for normal women. OK, normal women who are looking to make a lifestyle change. I don't think that I have many like fitness competitors listen to me, but just I just want to get really clear this. If you're a fitness competitor, y'all are doing crazy like out of this world stuff. You're doing much more restrictive things. You have to be much more exact in order to get down to the really, really, really, really, super, super ultra lean body tasks that you need to get step on stage. I am not talking to y'all. OK, I am talking to the normal average woman in her 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s who is not looking us up on stage, is looking to feel good, is looking to have a healthy relationship with food, is looking for a lifestyle change who wants this to be something that they can live their life with. Right. You want to maybe lose some weight but you want to do it in a sustainable and healthy way. That's who I'm talking to. OK, that's my caveat. 

Stop comparing your progress to the weekdays 09:20 

Okay, number one, my first tip is this all comes down to comparison. And a lot of things in our journeys do and I I love this idea I'm gonna start before I get into the actual tip. I just want to start with talking about this idea of comparison and how important it is what you choose to compare against. We often say comparison is the thief of joy, right? We all know we're not supposed to compare. You're not supposed to stop comparing like you're not supposed to do that. But it's important to understand that the way that our brain makes sense of the world is through comparison. That's literally how our brain orients us in the world. It’s like, that's bigger than that. That's higher than that. That's lower than that. 

So you have all of these words that describe higher or lower better, you know, all like these comparison words are just how our brain makes sense of the world. So this idea of, like, you should never compare against anything. It's just unrealistic because it's how our brains work. So I am a bigger fan of not saying don't ever compare. I'm a much bigger fan of seeing, saying be very judicious with what you choose to compare against because what you are choosing to compare against will totally determine your experience. And so often what I find is people choose to compare against things that make them feel bad. When in the same breath, you could choose something completely different to compare against and make you feel a whole lot better, and the choice of what to compare against is up to you. 

Be intentional about how you choose to compare 10:55 

So a good example of this is sometimes people get in their head when they get into a program like MACROS 101. They get into their head. They like this idea of like I'm behind, right? They feel like other people are going faster than them, they're not keeping up. And they're just behind. And I always ask the question behind what? Because what you're choosing to compare against is really important here. When I ask that question often they're like, well behind the other people who are going faster or the other person who's done more in the program. And you know, they're comparing against something and making them, making them feel behind. Because of what they're choosing to compare against and and all simply say is, well, are you behind or ahead of the people who decided not even to start? Like the people who haven't even joined the program? And it definitely it like shifts their perspective into a realization of like, yeah, I might be behind some people and I'm ahead of some other people. And if I choose to sit here and compare myself to people who are, “ahead of me”, it just makes me feel bad. It makes me want to quit and makes me want to not keep going. And I can simply choose my or turn my eyes to compare against those who haven't even started and realize I'm further along in the journey than them. So why am I spending all my time sitting here and comparing against people who I'm behind instead of comparing against people who I'm ahead of and again, at the end of the day, we don't need to compare against anybody because it's your journey, right? Just it's silly to like, be a header behind, but if you're going to choose to compare, let's be intentional about how you choose to compare and who you choose to compare against and and ask yourself if I'm comparing and I feel bad like why am I choosing to compare against that person?  

The Gap Versus The Gain 12:31 

So this is a concept that I've talked a lot about and it was really crystallized when I read the book The Gap Versus The Gain. And this is a book by Dan Sullivan. Really great book and he just talks about again the difference of where we're looking. If we're looking at the gap, which is the difference between where we are and where we want to go. And we're noticing that there's a gap between those that makes us feel really bad about ourselves. Whereas when we turn to look at the gain, which is where you used to be and where you currently are. We realize how far we've come, and that's much more motivating. And so you are where you put your attention if you're putting your attention on something that's making you feel bad because you haven't achieved it and you haven't accomplished it, you're like you're going to feel bad and you're going to quit and you're going to not want to stick with it. So if you're focusing on the gap all the time, it's going to be really demotivating. Whereas if you focus on the gain where you've been, how far you've come, the wins that you have had, that's much more motivating to keep going forward. OK. So that kind of lays the foundation with what I'm doing, what I'm going to say because tip #1 is stop comparing your progress on the weekends to the weekdays. 

Compare weekend to weekend 13:34 

OK, you're choosing to say during the weekdays, I do really well and during the weekends I do really bad like my weekends are bad compared to my weekdays. That's the wrong thing to be comparing against. Instead, what would happen if you compared last weekend to this weekend to next weekend to the following weekend, and your goal wasn't to be exactly your goal yet, wasn't to be exactly the same on the weekdays and the weekends. Instead, your goal is this weekend to be better than last weekend and then next weekend to be better than this weekend. And So what you're comparing against is 1 something that is a much closer comparison, right weekend to weekend is a much closer to comparison. It's not exact. It's not perfect, but it's much closer than comparing your weekdays to your weekends where weekdays, for most people tend to be more structured and weekends tend to be a lot more spontaneous. A lot of things going on, a lot more fun, things that are happening. So if you chose to stop comparing your week, weekdays and weekends and trying to make your weekends exactly like your weekdays and instead you started focusing on how can I just make this weekend slightly better than last weekend? Don't you think that you would make a lot more progress and what typically happens on the weekend is exactly what I outlined in my experience, where it's like you fall on your face on Friday and instead of getting right back on track on Saturday it lasts the entire weekend and so if we can stop that roller coaster of like falling off and then not carrying the whole entire weekend, we can limit it to like one day or even two out of the three days instead of three out of the three days we've already made some progress, and that's what comparing weekend to weekend can really allow you to do is allow you to make small incremental progress over time and slightly get better. And if we can get better each weekend, you know eventually I think it's a great goal for your weekends to look very similar to your weekdays and in terms of eating, or at least close that gap. Maybe. Maybe it's not realistic. I don’t know, it's not realistic for me for my weekends to look exactly the same as my weekdays. Maybe it is for you. It's not. Not really realistic for me, but I can definitely close that gap. I can make them a lot closer than they have been in the past and my weekends now are a lot closer to my weekdays. They're not exactly the same as as my weekends, but they're closer than they used to be, and that's really the goal. So my first tip is to choose judiciously what you're comparing against and instead of comparing your weekends to your weekdays, compare one weekend to the next, and now your goal just becomes. How can I make this weekend a little bit better than last weekend? Not perfect, not amazing, not 100%, but how am I just a little bit better this weekend than last? 

Identify what your priorities are this weekend 16:27 

OK tip #2 is to identify your priorities. Now I know as we go into the weekends again, one of the hardest things about weekends is the spontaneity that comes with weekends. You know, sometimes you know you're going out to dinner, but sometimes it's spontaneous and sometimes you know that there's a party that weekend, but maybe you didn't know what was going to be at the party. And you know, sometimes you know that your friends are going to go out but didn't know that you were going to go bar hopping. Right. Like there's just there's just spontaneous, spontaneous things that happen on the weekend, which is one of the fun parts about the weekend so you know as much as we can plan. We want to plan, but I think one of the most important things going into the weekend is identifying your priorities. What are the priorities for you this weekend? And your priorities this weekend can be different from last weekend and from the next weekend. So this can be something that you review you know as you go into each weekend. But what are my priorities? What do I want to make sure is focused on this week? Maybe you maybe you have a friend coming into town and you know you're going to go out to lunch and dinner with her and and that time is really important. And you don't want to track during those periods of time. Great. Awesome. Identify that as a priority. 

And we’re going to talk about, you know, how we can make a plan in the next tip. But the first step is figuring out what's most important, because I think what happens a lot of times is we get lost in the weekend with the snowball effect instead of being very judicious and focus on this is a priority. So I'm going to do it ad this isn't a priority. Everything just like once, once one domino falls, all the dominoes just fall and it just it just becomes a free for all and now we're not really making decisions about this is really important to me. Now. We're just making a decision because the last decision we made was bad. So we're going to continue making those bad decisions. Right. Like you get me, you've, you've experienced that where it's where one bad decision. You stop just making decisions and now just you just continue the litany of bad decisions over and over and over again and we want to get away from that as much as possible. So identifying your priorities is really valuable as you head into the weekend. What's really important this weekend, maybe rest and relaxation is, well, what does that mean for you? You know, what would that look like for you to to finish the weekend relaxed and and rejuvenated? Maybe it's going out with your friends. Maybe you always go out with your friends on Friday night. OK, awesome. What's the most important part of that? Is it the socialization? Is it the drinking? Is it letting loose? Is it, you know the conversation? What is it that is really important and how can we make sure that we're building a plan around those things that are actually, your priorities instead of just not caring, I think that's the thing that I want that most people feel out of control with. 

Good decisions, bad decisions 19:09 

When you get to a point that you're not making decisions anymore, that you're just not caring, those are two different experiences. And always if you can get to the point of actively, continually making decisions, you feel much more in control and you are much more in control. Now, that doesn't mean you always make “good decisions”, that I can make the decision to eat a pizza and some people would be like, well, that's a bad decision. But if I'm actively making that decision, that matters so much more to me than what decision is you're making. Actually, they're real about this recently or I said, you know, is it better to eat kale or is it better to eat Reese's and my response as a coach is I don't actually care. I care. Well, I care. I should say I care way less about which you choose and what I care about is how you are making the decision. Because if you're making the decision to eat the kale from a place of restriction and a place of I hate myself and I hate my body, and I just have to do this. And that's why you eat the kale. That's a bad decision. Well, it's definitely not a good decision. 

And if you eat the, you know, Reese’s from a place of like, oh, I'm the worse. And I'm just. Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. And not even really making the decision. It's just happening. It just happened. And I just ate the like. That's the bad decision, too. A good decision could be I'm choosing to eat the kale because this is going to nourish my body and it feel makes me feel really good. And I want to eat the kale. And a good decision could be you know what I've I've fueled my body really well today and I really want to eat the Reese’s and this seems like a really fun treat to eat tonight and I decide I'm deciding to eat it. Those are both great decisions because of how you made the the decision, not what the decision was that you made. 

Make a plan for your priorities 20:51 

OK, so numbers tip #3 is like kind of a subset of tip #2 and that's once you've identified your priorities, now you need to make a plan for your priorities. Another way to phrase this is answering the question, what does balance look like this weekend? And I think balance is one of those really hard to define words that we use a lot. That we would do much better to actually define. So when you say I just want to have balance this weekend, well, that's fantastic. What does that what does that even mean? What does balance look like? And a question I asked my class clients a lot is how will you know when you have balance? What, like what will specifically tell you? Yes, I found balance this weekend. And while that might feel like a really hard question to answer, the more clarity you can get with answering it, the more successful you're going to be. One of the reasons you are not successful over the weekend is you have never defined what success is. Never defined what balance looks like. And if you don't define it, if you don't know what it is, how the heck are you ever supposed to achieve it? So once you've identified what your priorities are, can you make a plan for those priorities? And can you realize that, hey, if my priority is going out for drinks with the girls on Friday night, Fantastic. Maybe Saturday night my husband and I, we should eat in maybe that's what I want to do is I want to eat in on on on Saturday night because I'm gonna balance that. I'm gonna prioritize going out with the girls on on Friday night because that's really important to me. And I'm gonna balance that by making it making a change in another area of my of my weekend. So figuring out and obviously I'm not saying that's the right way to do it. I'm saying that's an example of how I could be active in this process of of saying this is what I want to create this weekend, I'm going to have some places where I prioritize maybe my fun and relaxation and maybe I'm not as strict with hitting my macros and days that are a little bit more where I'm like. Yeah, I'm going to have Saturday be a day where Friday I’m not loose a little bit and Saturday in a day where I rein in a little bit and that's that's what balance is gonna look like for me this weekend. And again, we're because we're not comparing the weekend to the weekdays. We can say, yeah, this weekend, Fridays nights gonna be my fun night. And then on Saturday and Sunday, I'm going to it's going to be a lot more normal. And then we can compare it, you know, week over week as you improve those weekends. 

Debrief your weekend 23:16 

Tip #4 and this is a word that my MACROS 101 students are going to know a lot of and has the word debrief. So we talk about debriefing a lot and how important it is to debrief the things that you do. And I really think that one of the mistakes a lot of people make when it comes to weekends is they don't debrief it. They don't sit down and look back and say what went really well this weekend. What were some strategies that worked really well for me that I can utilize again and what didn't go well? Oftentimes, when things don't go well, we don't want to revisit them like we don't want to relive them. But when you don't relive them and you don't revisit them, you don't ever learn the lessons that are present there. And then you are apt to repeat those mistakes in the future. That's what I see a lot of people doing with weekends. It's like groundhog's day. This weekend is like last weekend, like last weekend. They're all terrible because we haven't ever spent the time saying, well, what? Why did I make that decision? Like, what didn't work? And that thing that I tried and what can I do next time and then conversely. Oftentimes, when things do go well, we don't take the time to reflect because we're on to the next thing we're like. Oh, that went well. I don't need to. Like, I must have learned all the lessons there. Just go on to the next thing. And I think it's really important whether it went well, whether it didn't go well, whether there were parts that went well and parts that didn't go well. Whatever, it doesn't matter. The debrief is where you're going to learn. So you're looking back and you're saying, OK, I went to the weekend with this priority, with this plan. How'd it go? I had some strategies that I tried out. I tried, you know, only having one drink on Friday and eating at home on Saturday with my partner. Great. How did that go? Did I like that? Did I like that balance? Did it work well for me? Would I do something different next time? You know, maybe next time I won't drink at all, maybe I'm just going to go and have a soda.  

Scientist Mindset 25:12 

So this this but this process has to be active and intentional and so many times it's like we just want to get back on the wagon on Monday and forget about everything that happened the weekend. And that's one of the worst things that you can do because if you're just forgetting about everything that happened, you're not learning lessons. Lessons and learning is what's going to help you to grow over time, so make sure you're spending some time what went well. Why did that go well? Why did that work so well? Can I use that in the future? How would I use that in the future? What didn't go well? Or moments that I like? Oh, I didn't really make a good decision there or I didn't make an active decision or I just kind of went into, have it or I said I was going to do this thing and I I didn't. How can you review that not from a place of shame, not from a place of you're bad, but from a place of learning and understanding. The more lessons you can pull out of the weekends and build upon for next weekend, the faster your weekends are going to get better. The problem is is so many of you are just moving on. And so it's almost like starting the race over every single Friday instead of building some foundation and then starting the next race from, you know, that foundation that you've already built. So that's what happens when you're able to debrief your weekends, figure out what went well, what didn't, what strategies worked, what strategies didn't, and then you try again next weekend. You bring over those strategies that worked and you try new strategies. And sometimes they work and sometimes they won't. But this is where we I talk a lot about becoming a macro scientist inside of MACROS 101 and this is this idea of bringing that scientist mindset. 

Consider shifting your tracking period to start with dinner 26:50

OK. The number 5 is and this is like a really tactile trick or tip that I give to my clients and it may work for some and it may work not work for other people, but I'm going to give it to you and then you can just decide if you want to use it or not. One thing that I find with people is that oftentimes the the dinner time is more of the wild card, especially for moms who are making dinner. You may not know what you're making for dinner, and so I find that if we keep our tracking period, breakfast, lunch and dinner is like our 24-hour tracking period, then dinner becomes like the last thing that we eat. And it's also the wild card which makes it really hard when you're trying to fit into your macros, so one suggestion I give and this can also help with your weekends, is to shift your tracking period. So instead of your 24 hours including breakfast, lunch, dinner, you just shift the 24 hours that you're tracking, and so your tracking starts with dinner, next day's breakfast and next day's lunch. You're just essentially shifting your 24 hour tracking period, but what this does is it allows your dinner to go 1st and so if your dinner is your wild card, your dinner goes first. You fill in how many macros you eat there, and then it's a lot easier to adjust and tweak your following breakfast and lunch and a little bit easier for most people because you're not eating with your family or you. You can kind of eat whatever it is you want during those subsequent meals, and then you can kind of fill in all of the extra macros.

Why this helps you on the weekend is because I usually find the evenings are places where people struggle the most, so it's like Friday night is hard for you. That's where it's hard to stay on track or Saturday night is where it's hard to stay on track. And so if you can have that, go first into your into your plan. Then go first into your tracking for that day. Then if you go a little bit overboard on Friday night, we can kind of pull it back Saturday breakfast and Saturday lunch to kind of compensate for what we did on the evening. And then again, you know, Saturday night and then Sunday breakfast and lunch. So again, this doesn't work for everybody, but it blows a lot of people's minds when I tell them that they can shift their tracking period. And when I say shift, I mean you just permanently shift, like you're always tracking dinner, breakfast, lunch. Nope. Dinner. Yeah. Dinner. Breakfast. Lunch. That's just you've shifted that time period. So again it's like a little trick. Try it out, see if it works. It's a game changer for a lot of my clients and it can be a game changer when it comes to your weekends as well. 

Rating and Review 29:19 

So those are my 5 tips for dealing with weekends. Number one, stop comparing your progress to the weekdays instead, compare weekend to weekend, Number two, identify what are your priorities this weekend. Number three, make a plan for your priorities, figure out what balance looks like. Number four, debrief your weekend. And then Number five, consider shifting your tracking period to start with dinner. So I hope that these tips are helpful as you move into this upcoming weekend and let me know, let me know how if this was helpful.  If you learned something if this made a difference for you and if you love Biceps After Babies Radio, will you do me a favor and leave a quick rating and review on whatever platform it is that you're listening on? It makes such a difference for the Algorithm and being able to get people to see this and and be able to find the podcast. So if you will take the time to, you know, quickly leave a rating and review, that would mean the world to me. 

And if you're interested in getting on the wait list for MACROS 101, we are considering having a fall opening if we have enough interest. So if you are interested in joining our next cohort of MACROS 101 bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist, and if we have enough interest, we will consider doing a fall cohort which would be really fun. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber, now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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