291: “I’m Struggling To Prioritize My Health And Fitness Goals….Help!”| Live Coaching Session

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 291.. 

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And today, I'm bringing you a coaching conversation that I had with a client on a topic that I think is going to resonate with a lot of you who are listening. So, Catherine came on one of our Coaching Calls. So, I have my program that most of you familiar with is called MACROS 101. That is our group coaching program. We opened that up once or twice a year. If you're interested in getting coached and going through MACROS 101, you can get on the wait list at bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist. And then after you go through MACROS 101, you have the option to continue to receive coaching for as long as you would like it inside of our program called Beyond MACROS 101. And so this was a Beyond MACROS 101 call. We do lots of live coaching and written coaching inside there because people need support throughout many phases of their journey and so we provide that inside of Beyond. So this was a Beyond Coaching Call and Catherine came on and asked a fantastic question and you'll hear it as she phrases it. But the, you know, the first way that she approached this question is about how to build momentum in her journey. And as we dive a little deeper and I think it's really important. I'm going to kind of set this this call up in a way that I want you to be listening to it, oftentimes when clients come and ask me a question, as a coach, I know that there is often a deeper question that is not being asked and it's my job as a coach to not stay superficial with the question and just answer the question, but figure out where the client is coming from and figure out with what they're really struggling with, because oftentimes what we think we're struggling with is not what we're actually struggling with and you will see that play out on this Coaching Call that this is what sets the style of coaching, the transformational style of coaching that I teach in my Transformational Macro Coach Certification. From a lot of other styles of coaching, you'll see it very plainly here. Because the question that Catherine starts with, the question that she asked me is not where we end up going, it's not the question that I end up answering.  

Instead, we get to something much deeper, something much more about struggles that Catherine has with making herself a priority. And I think a lot of you are going to resonate as you listen to this because I think I see this a lot of times in a lot of women of that struggle to make yourself a priority is one of the ways that we self sabotage. It's one of the ways that we stay stuck. And it can feel really hard to break out of. And so, I have this conversation with Catherine and she was fantastic. She was very open and really shared her heart and her struggles in some of these ways. And we were able to get to a really awesome resolution at the end of the conversation of helping her to be able to prioritize herself and really be intentional about that prioritization. I make the point at the end of, spoiler alert, the point at the end of the conversation that this is about intentionality. We all have priorities. Some of us are more intentional about what those priorities are than others, and the more intentional you can be, the more you can direct your life and create the life it is that you want to live. And so it really comes down to intentionality and that that's a really valuable, you know, wrap up that we have of this conversation. So, I'm excited for you listen this coaching conversation, I want you to pay attention to the question that Catherine starts with and where we end up and kind of that journey that we get to what is actually keeping her stuck. And then if you are someone who struggles with prioritization or feeling like you can place yourself as a priority in your life, I want you to listen to some of the ways and the tips and the coaching that I give Catherine to be able to help her to be able to make that shift in her life and see if any of that can fit in with you and your journey. So let's jump into that coaching conversation with Catherine. 

Catherine 04:40 

Hi, Amber.  

Amber B 04:41 

Hi, Catherine.  

Catherine 04:42 

Can you hear me OK?  

Amber B 04:43 

I can. Yeah, you sound great. 

Catherine 04:45 

Awesome. OK. Thanks for letting me talk with you today. I'm a little nervous. This is good. 

Amber B 04:48 

You’re gonna do great. How can I help? 

Catherine 04:52 

So I just joined Beyond after doing the eight weeks of MACROS 101. And I when they're asking today, you know, what's your plan? What are you going to do, I said the cut, but I'm, I'm just really struggling to get momentum. I'll track for a few days, for a week and then like what you're talking about before. It's not like an intentional stop, but three weeks go by. I'm like, oh, I haven't done anything with this, so I just love some help figuring out ways to just gain some momentum in the process. 

Amber B 05:19 

OK, cool. So, you're starting to cut? 

Catherine 05:22 

Well, I think I mean is that better for me to track for a few weeks to kind of get my numbers set and all that stuff? I did that at the start of our eight weeks, but then now it's been two months. Should I do that two weeks again so that I know what my starting number should be and then do a cut from there, is that what you'd recommend? 

Amber B 05:38 

I mean if you've already done the tracking of two weeks and you had a pretty good idea of where you were at, I would say that that you gained the knowledge and information that we on that period of time so jumping into, but it's not. I think that that's a perfectly fine next step for. OK, I would love to hear from you. I want to see it in my mind of like, what does this actually look like for you? So if you wake up and you're like, OK, today's the day I'm going to track everything. Walk me through where that breakdown happens, like what happens?  

Catherine 06:13 

So for me for, you know, ideal date, I'd love to get meals planned ahead of time and listening to some of this coaching has been so good to just hear some of the ideas with it and people are able to do that. You know, I'd love to have kind of an idea of what I'm going to eat. The holiday starts because I've got three young kids and I start making breakfast for them and I'll maybe, I'll just have cold cereal too. That's easier. I'll have pancakes too, because I've easier. Instead of having a macro plan meal, you know, so if I was something that I wanted to like my ideal day. I probably have an idea what I'm going ahead of time. So like kind of have it tracked before so hectic mornings happen. I'm not trying to track at the same time as I'm feeding my kids and getting started for the day and. Yeah, I think just planning ahead for me is where it breaks down. I don't do that, you know? And then the day just goes on and I don't eat when I should probably when I get a little bit too hungry and then I can eat whatever is there, you know. 

Amber B 07:04 

Good. Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. So. That, that conversation that we just had with Becky was probably really helpful sounds like. So that your planning is something that's gonna be really beneficial to you. What is your sense as to what prevents you currently from doing that? What's the biggest roadblock for you for doing that? 

Catherine 07:21 

I mean, I think I was trying to think about that when you were talking to Becky before and I just think it's not making myself a priority, you know, just not taking that time to do it, which is silly because I want to and I'm so excited about the program, but it's just actually taking that step. You know, I'm like, yeah, tracking sounds awesome, macros like it totally makes sense to me. And then I get to that moment. I'm like, oh, that seems hard when it's really not. It's just an excuse. Does that make sense? 

Amber B 07:49 

Yeah, yeah, totally. Talk to me so. Talk to me a little bit more about making yourself a priority. Do you find that that is something that you struggle with in other aspects? 

Catherine 07:57 

Yes, totally, yeah. 

Amber B 07:59 

Tell me about that a little bit. 

Catherine 08:03 

I just think. It's just super easy for me to not set aside time. Sorry, I'm getting emotional for myself, you know, I've had young kids for a long time and which I love being a mom. I love being home with them and I've worked, you know, part time from home and it seems like there's always other things to do but I think for a long time, I think I haven't let myself take care of myself, if that makes sense. Because I've just let life kind of happen instead of choosing what I'm doing. 

Amber B 08:38 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can have some compassion to I think especially you know, mothers of young children like there is a phase where it is a very selfless phase that you go through and that doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself, but I think we can have some compassion of like sometimes you're just doing what needs to be done to keep these humans alive and they, it's raining and hard. So, we can have compassion and recognize that that doesn't mean that we have to, that you have to give everything of yourself. But you know you can't, can't drain yourself and expect to still be able to care for somebody else.  

Catherine 09:13 

Absolutely. 

Amber B 09:14 

I wonder how you would finish this sentence. The worst thing about setting aside time for myself is? 

Catherine 09:26 

The worst thing about setting aside time for myself is, I mean, I think probably just not getting the list of the things I need to done. But that, as I say that it doesn't make sense because I always find time to get everything else done. It's just I don't think time to fit in meal planning and exercising, the things that will build me, you know. 

Amber B 09:48 

Yeah, yeah. So it, you find, you like everybody else, finds times time for the things that are priority. And it sounds like you just have fallen down on the priority list that other things are more important on that priority list. And so you don't have to, I mean. It's not good or bad, it's just like that's currently how you've prioritized things and how you've done it in the past. And so we can take a step back and. And look at. That and say is that how I want to continue doing that? Is that is that where I want to place myself on the list? Or do I want to move myself up? My guess is you want to move yourself up, but I don't want to put words into your mouth? 

Catherine 10:24 

No, you're 100% right. I feel like my kids are a little older and I'm kind of coming out of that fog of young kids, you know, And I'm just ready to feel more like yourself. 

Amber B 10:35 

So, what, how will you know or what would be indicative of you realizing, Oh, I've moved myself up in priority and like is there something that would be that trigger for you of being like, Ohh I'm changing. This is, I'm moving myself up. 

Catherine 10:49 

For me, I feel like consistency in exercise and meal planning. Those are kind of because I'll put together two or three days. I love weightlifting. I, you know, I was a collegiate athlete. I lifted all through college and I loved it. But I haven't since. And I think doing those things that I do love, you know, exercising, weightlifting, that kind of stuff and then also having foods available to that I like that are also you know fit into my meal plan, both of those things on a regular basis that for me would be a good sign. 

Amber B 11:23 

OK, fantastic. Great. So, if we are looking at like, what's, we're just going to pretend like in front of us we have a list of Catherine’s priorities in her life, right? And maybe meal planning and exercising is down a little bit lower on the list. What currently, do you have higher on your priority list that could drop down? Like what would you be willing to stop doing or do less of? This could move higher up.  

Catherine 11:53 

That's such a good question. I mean. Really, it would just be. It's a hard one for me to answer because it's hard to. 

Amber B 12:08 

Yeah, yeah. 

Catherine 12:08 

Like put those priorities in line, I mean. But honestly, I feel like letting my, not doing as much for my kids and all that sounds silly, but letting them be a little bit more responsible for their own stuff and so that I had more time, you know, so just kind of putting that down a little. 

Amber B 12:23 

But how? How can you get more specific with that, like, what specifically could you let them do or give them responsibility over that would free you up to be able to prioritize some other things? 

Catherine 12:37 

That's a really good question. And for me, I love exercising in the morning, so maybe I could give them some responsibility on their morning stuff that we have to get done, whether it's jobs or different things in that summer time. But it's just, I just get so stuck in and I have to be there for them. I have to help them through all the things you know, but really. I don't. They're very self-sufficient. It's just my habit, you know? So if I just let them know I have the time hey, this is my time, especially for exercise, I love to workout in the morning so I said, hey, I'm going to be doing it this time. You guys are in charge of yourselves. You know that would be huge. That'd be a big deal. 

Amber B 13:11 

OK, awesome. I love that and I think it's good to remind yourself, too, that that as a mother, your job is not to do everything for your kids. Your job is to do it for themselves, right? So that's actually a benefit for them to be able to get this responsibility and what a great learning opportunity to, like sit your kids down and be like hey guys, this is important to mom. Like, my physical health is important. This is something that I really want to do. And here's how you guys can step up and be, I don't know how old your kids obviously like how you watch those. But be a little bit bigger kid like be a little bit more bigger. Here's your responsibility and then involve them in that so that I mean. What a great example to set for your kids of like seeing their mom prioritize herself. I mean, I had this experience growing up as I always saw my mom prioritizing. I went to the YMCA like, every day with her and every Saturday. But like I grew up knowing that my mom was a priority to her. And that's something that I and it's why one of the reasons I'm here today is because my mom demonstrated that for me. So I think helping to remind yourself because you may have some of that mom guilt start to come up a little bit. Like should be helping my kids. I should be pouring them something for them and reminding yourself of like, that's not your job as a mom. Your job as a mom is to help them become self-sufficient and independent and a great opportunity for you prioritize yourself while also giving them the opportunity to step up a little bit. 

Catherine 14:35 

Yeah, I love that you asked that, though about changing priorities. Because I think I just tried to add it in without changing anything else. 

Amber B 14:41 

Yeah, we can. 

Catherine 14:42 

That's where I get stuck because I cannot just add like another hour in my day. 

Amber B 14:46 

Right.  

Catherine 14:46 

I have to switch something and I love thinking about, 

Amber B 14:47 

You gotta take. You gotta take something out right and that's the like you have to let go, to let in. That's a concept that I teach in MACROS 101, letting go to let in, like you have to let go of something great to be able to have room for something. I also want to point out this is really important. This comes back to this idea of intentionality that I talked about a lot as well is like our priority list, you, everybody has a priority list. You don't know it you all have a priority list. So the question is, do you want to be intentional about creating that priority list? So what you did, Catherine was you took a step back. And looked at your priority list and then you asked yourself really a important question. This is what I want my priority list to be and if not, how can I potentially move things around, but so many of us are living life on default instead of intentionality. So we just let the priorities run us instead of us running our priority. 

Catherine 15:37 

Yeah, I think I also run into a lot of all or nothing thinking which I've learned a lot in the training that we had to your MACROS 101, but where if I miss tracking lunch, then I just stop for the day or you know if I miss one day I then I end up going two weeks and I haven't tracked, but I'm really working on. Like not having that mentality and just letting myself keep going and not filling it like a reset. But just like the process is still going., you know. 

Amber B 16:02 

Yeah. And you can use floor and ceiling goals to be able to help you a little bit so you can say something like my floor goal is that I will exercise for 15 minutes, right? That's like that's the bare minimum like I'm doing 15 minutes. Even my kids are screaming the whole 15 minutes so I'm doing the 15 minutes, right? I would like to work out an hour every day. That's my ceiling goal. What I'm aiming on, but like. Yeah, committed to 15 minutes, right. So, using those floor and ceiling goals to be able to help yourself a little bit with that all or nothing thinking. So, it's like maybe it's 5 minutes. Right. You, you get to set the floor goal, but even 5 minutes again this is less right now. Especially this is less about you working out and more about a way for you to embody and demonstrate that you're important. So, every exception that you're taking is a communication of what you value, and so you, by you saying even I'm just going to look out for 5 minutes. Like the 5 minutes of working out great. Like, it's always better than 0 but to me and to you, what that should be communicating is I'm important and that's. That's the value of it right now, especially it's like there's been a lot of instances and a lot of us getting these things of like I'm not important. Everybody else is more important than me. And so even just that communication to yourself of like, No, I'm important, that that's the transformation that's going to be for you moving forward. 

Catherine 17:28 

Totally for that. Now it gets me a little emotional too, it’s like I can tell I have some work to do there. So thank you. 

Amber B 17:32 

Yeah, yeah. What's that emotion bringing up? 

Catherine 17:38 

Oh, I just think. Just kind of like what you're saying, just kind of on default, just letting myself be on the back burner for a lot of years, you know. But, I really love that idea of like consciously choosing to just keep those commitments to myself. And I think over time that's going to build a lot of trust that I don't necessarily have right now, you know. 

Amber B 18:01 

Bingo, 100%. Yeah. And we developing that trust and reminding yourself that you're important is going to be revolutionary for you, because you are. 

Catherine 18:11 

Totally. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. 

Amber B 18:13 

Great. Great question. Thanks Catherine.  

Catherine 18:16 

Thanks. 

Amber B 18:17 

What a great conversation, and hopefully you can really start to see that you yourself don't actually have to have a coaching conversation with somebody to be able to receive a lot of value from a coaching conversation. We see this all the time in MACROS 101 and Beyond. That, yeah, getting coach yourself is really valuable and we do personalize and individualized coaching in those programs. But what is even better than that is the ability to yes, to be able to get your questions answered, but then to also be able to listen to other people receive coaching because oftentimes other people will ask questions or talk about topics that you didn't even really know that you needed yourself. Maybe you didn't go into this call thinking that you struggle with making yourself a priority, but as you listen to Catherine, you could resonate with her experience and it was a question you didn't even know that you needed to ask, but you got something out of listening to that coaching. And that is what I always see as the benefit of being in a group when you are, when you're doing group coaching, there's benefits to one-on-one coaching and you know we provide that personalized individual coaching inside of our programs. But I love being in a group because you can only ask questions about the things that you know to ask questions about. You can't ask questions about the things you haven't figured out to ask questions, and that's what I see a lot of times with group coaching is, other people will ask questions that you yourself didn't even think about, and there's a lot of value in listening to somebody else get coached. So, if you are interested in getting coached by me, go to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist to get on the MACROS 101 wait list, we will let you know when we open doors and you can come on and get some coaching like Catherine did. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.  

Outro

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