092: Are You Making These Mistakes With Your Goals?

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 92. Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, online fitness coach, wife, and mom of four. My guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

Amber B  0:46  

Hey, Hey, Hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio.I'm your host Amber Brueseke and today's episode we are going to talk about one of my very, very favorite subjects and that is goal setting.

Goal Setting  1:02  

I truly truly believe that your individual personal growth is directly proportional to your ability to set and take action towards goals. And one of the things that I love to be able to teach inside of my program macros 101 is how to set and work towards and achieve the goals that you have. Because the better you are at goal setting, the more growth, the more quickly you're going to grow. And the higher you're going to be able to reach anywhere that you want to go in your life. And so obviously, I deal a lot with fitness and setting goals in the fitness realm. But what you're going to understand is that when you understand the principles of goal setting, and you understand some of the things that I'm going to teach you today, this is something that can apply to any area of your life, any aspect of your life where you're trying to uplevel whether it be a performance, right like in performance, I was meaning like musical performance, right like if you want to learn to play an instrument, if you want to get better at running, if you want to get better at gymnastics, if you want to improve your scripture study, if you want to be a better mom, all of those things will get better and will improve if and when you learn to be able to really set effective goals and be able to work towards those goals really effectively.

Truth in Goal Setting and Its Importance  2:25  

But here is the honest truth. And that is that I find that so many people are very, very poor, and lack some of the skills when it comes to goal setting. And yes, goal setting is a skill, it is something that you must learn and get better at and implement. It's not just something that you just can do innately. And I think there are a ton of mistakes that I see with clients and as I work with women in how they're setting their goals and why their goals aren't working with them, like working for them or why they aren't achieving their goals. And there are some really, really common mistakes that I see that are really simple fixes. And as we go through what I'm going to teach today, you'll notice like, none of this is really big. It's not, it's not gonna like overhaul your goal-setting process. But it's just these little tweaks that make the biggest difference when it comes to setting and being able to achieve your goals. And so because goal setting is so important, and it again I truly believe your growth is directly proportional to your ability to set and take action towards your goals. And because of that, and because I care so much about your personal growth and your ability to achieve whatever it is that you want in your life, whatever goals that you have set and whatever desires that you have inside of you. I choose to believe that anytime that you have a desire, that means you have the capability to achieve it. We don't have desires for things that we aren't able to achieve that we don't have it within us to achieve. For example, I do not have a desire to play in the NBA or the WNBA, right? Like I don't have, that's not a desire of mine at all. And, you know, that's probably something that I'm never going to achieve, but I don't have the desire for it either. So, if you have a desire for something, I believe that you have everything inside of you to be able to achieve that. And if you just sit with that for a moment, that's such a powerful concept of recognizing it because I get this a lot from women where they're, like, have this goal. But I don't know if I can do it. Like, I don't know if that like my body's gonna be able to get there. I don't know if I can achieve it. And I want you to understand that anything that you have the desire for, you have the ability to achieve and it just comes down to are you willing to set the goal? Are you willing to work for it? Are you willing to pay the price? Are you willing to do the things that it's going to require to achieve that goal, but it's not a matter of if you have the ability to do it, it's if you have the tools, and if you're willing to be the person who is going to achieve that goal, okay? Makes sense.

5 Biggest Mistakes Made in Goal Setting and How to Beat It  5:09  

So because the ability to set and achieve goals is so important for your personal growth, because I see so many mistakes being made that are so easily fixed, I'm going to share with you today the five biggest mistakes that I see when people are setting goals and how to overcome those mistakes so that you can come away from this podcast, being empowered to be able to set you to know work towards and hit your goals in a way that is going to just exponentially propel you towards whatever you're trying to achieve. Whether that be in the fitness realm, whether that be in your spiritual life, whether that be in your family life, these principles are going to accelerate your growth, they're going to accelerate what you are able to accomplish. So if you're cool with that, if you're picking up what I'm putting down, then let's hop into the top five mistakes that I see with goal setting.

Mistake #1- Not Setting Goals 6:01 

Okay, number one is that you're not setting goals. That's, that's probably the biggest mistake that I see with people is they just aren't setting goals. They don't have a routine goal setting practice for areas of their life. And I think this comes down to a couple of reasons and as a kind of if this is you, and this is ringing true, and you don't currently have a process through which you continually set and review your goals and work towards them, no shame, that's no big deal. We can definitely like to move past that. But maybe some of these things ring true for you. So I see, the first thing I see is that maybe you just don't know-how. Or you've set goals in the past and they haven't really worked and you don't really know how to set them effectively. And that's awesome because that's a really easy fix. And by the end of this episode, you're gonna have some really tangible action items to be able to take and apply to your own journey to help you to set better goals. So if you don't currently feel like you have a good grip on how to set goals, awesome, you are in the right place. And we're going to cover that.

Study your Goals Effectively 7:05  

Another reason that I find people don't set goals is, they haven't felt like setting goals has helped them in the past. And if that's the case, my suggestion or my thought for you is that it probably hasn't worked in the past, because you weren't actually studying them very effectively. And with a couple of minor tweaks, if you felt like hey, I've set goals in the past, it doesn't really do anything, it doesn't really like help me at all. That's probably because you aren't setting your goals right, and or effectively. And so that's what I'm going to teach you today is how to set more effective goals so that they are propelling you towards the results that you want, and they are working for you.

Goal Setting Must Be Part of Your Habit  7:44  

Another thing that I see is that it's just not a habit. It's not a habit that you've gone into where you set you to know, work towards review your goals on a regular basis and this, this may be because you haven't seen it work before you don't know how to do it, or just maybe because you like the idea of goal setting, maybe you do it every once in awhile, maybe you set new year's resolutions, but it hasn't become something that is part of who you are. And part of, you know a routine that you've set for yourself. I have seen the women who are able to create a habit and a way of being in being a goal setter, it expedites and just accelerates their ability to be able to achieve. And so that's one of the things that I would love for you to consider and to be working towards is to really become a person who likes goal setting is a habit. It's just a way of being it's just who you are you just set work towards and achieve goals over and over and over like rinse, repeat, recycle all through your life. And so maybe it's not a habit yet, but I would love to help you to be able to make it a habit because I think it makes all the difference in working towards the things that you want to achieve in your life.

Don’t Be Afraid When Your Goals are Not Achieved  9:04  

And then the last one, and we'll go into this a little bit deeper in just a little bit but I want to touch on it really quickly here because this is a big reason why maybe you haven't been setting goals consistently in the past and that is that you don't want to fail. And maybe you've had experiences of class where you set goals, you have not achieved them. And you've created an interpretation or a meaning around that, that it then means something about you. You're not capable, you're not good enough, you're not worthy, you're never going to reach it. And we like to go down this rabbit hole of interpretations about how we set a goal didn't achieve it. And now that means all of these awful things about us and our and our abilities and who we are. So like I said, we're going to dive into that a little bit deeper in just a minute.

Have a Destination When You Set Your Goal  9:56  

But I wanted to touch on that because that may be coming up for you of you know, I don't set goals because I if I don't set goals and I don't fail, and we'll hit on that in just a little bit. But I want to really dive into why setting goals is so important, and why having a destination where you're pointing your eyes is so important. And I liken it to, you know, if, if you're going on a trip, and you show up at an airport and you hand your ticket to an agent, and they're like, okay, where are you going today? And you're like, man, I don't know. Where, wherever, wherever the plane takes me, I guess, right? If you did that, where the heck are you gonna end up like, somewhere random, you're just gonna end up somewhere random. Whereas if you show up at the counter, and you're like, hand them your chicken, they're like, where are you going to like, Oh, I'm going to Boston. Right? Then we have a destination, we have a way to point ourselves, we can then start to break down the steps in order to get us there. But the first step is that you have to have a destination. So if you currently aren't setting goals, I invite you to continue listening to this episode and be able to change that and to start to create this habit and this way of being of continually setting and working towards and achieving your goals, and if you are somebody who sets goals, I still want you to continue to listen, because I think you will pick up on some ways of being able to take your current habit or maybe sporadic goal setting that you're currently doing, and be able to uplevel it to make it even easier and even faster to hit and achieve your goals.

Mistake #1 and Its Solution  11:26  

Okay, so that's mistake number one, not actually setting any goals. And we talked about why that maybe means you know, you're not actually getting the results that you want in your life. Because if you don't have a destination that you're putting yourself towards, I mean, where are you even going to go, you're just going to kind of float around and who knows where you're going to show up. And when we can create a destination we can create something that we're working towards, we can zero in on the action items that we need to do in order to propel us towards that goal.

Mistake #2- Not Setting Big Enough Goals 11:56  

All right, number two, I see a mistake that I see so many people making is they're not setting big enough goals. And I think this typically comes from and this is where I wanted to bring him back conversation of not wanting to fail because we believe maybe you believe that if you set a big, huge goal, and then you don't reach it, that that then means something about you. And we go to these places, like, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough. We make it mean, Oh, I didn't hit it now so I'm never gonna be able to hit it. I'm not capable. I don't have what it takes, right? We create all these stories around and meaning around the fact that we didn't hit our goals. And I don't have to tell you that, that's like, makes you feel like crap, right? If you set a goal, and you don't hit it, and then you create all this meaning around it, of how you're not good enough, and you're never going to be able to do it and you don't have what it takes. That feels like crap. Why would you do something in the future, ie set another goal, if you end up just feeling like crap at the end of it, and so If that's an experience that you've had, and you kind of shy away from setting goals because you know, I don't want to fail, that I want to get into that, because I think that is absolutely 100% holding you back from achieving bigger things in your life.

Hitting a Goal Differs on One's Perspective  13:13  

And we have to get around this idea of creating this meaning around whether or not we hit our goals. And I want you to consider that hitting your goal or not hitting your goal has zero meaning other than the meaning you choose to give it and you are powerful and you can create meaning around it. And you can choose to create meaning that you know not hitting my goal means I am a failure. It means I won't ever be successful in the future. It means I can't do this right now. It means I don't have enough time. It means all these things you can create that meaning around, not achieving your goal. But that is up to you because inherently not hitting a goal has zero meaning and when you can come and work from a place of understanding that any and all meaning is just an interpretation that you put on something and that is up to you. And it is, you know your brain and your ideas doing that, that meaning creating, we can start to see how we can set and not hit big goals and that it doesn't have to inherently mean anything about us.

Set Huge Big Enough Goal  14:20  

And I actually want to kind of reframe that because I have a unique perspective on goals that I want for myself that I want to share with you and offer us an idea of what I make it mean when I don't hit a goal or rather when I do hit a goal, and that is that if I set a goal, and I hit it, the meaning that I actually give that is that I didn't set a big enough goal. I actually don't want to hit my goals. I want to set them so big that it's almost impossible for me to hit them because imagine how much higher and more I'm working and aiming when something is like super lofty and super out there, right? It's like, you've probably heard the cliche, saying right here we are, like graduation time. But you've heard the cliche saying of reach for the moon. And if you miss, you'll still be among the stars. And it's that idea that when you set these big lofty goals that are the moon, right, like reaching for the moon, even if you don't hit them, you are still going to be among the stars, you're still going to be probably reaching higher than you would have had you set a lower goal for yourself. And so in my goal setting, I actually and we'll talk about the difference between process and outcome goal. So I will make that distinction there. But in terms of when we're talking about an outcome goal, I set huge big goals that I don't even think, you know, I think they're unrealistic. I think they're unrealistic goals. And the reason I do that is that I know that if I'm reaching for that big goal if I'm taking the action if I becoming the person who I would need to become in order to reach that goal, even though I don't make it or even if I don't make it, I still will have achieved more than had I just set a realistic goal. In my opinion, setting a realistic goal is pointless. A realistic goal is something that you already think that you're gonna be able to do. That is not a goal. That's just like things as normal, in my opinion. And again, I'm going to differentiate between a process goal and an outcome goal because there are differences. Specifically, now we are talking about outcome goals. I believe those outcome goals should be unrealistic. If you're just setting a realistic goal that does nothing to propel you forward. I believe that the best goals we can set are ones where we have to become someone different in order to reach them, we have to up-level ourselves in order to reach them. Setting a quote-unquote realistic goal does nothing to uplevel you.

Mistake #3- Outcome vs. Process Goals 16:55  

And so then this brings in this conversation about outcome goals versus process goals and that is number three. This is the third mistake that I see so many women making is they don't understand the difference between a process goal and an outcome goal. So let's break that down.

Outcome Goal 17:13  

An outcome goal is an outcome that you are trying to achieve. It is you know the big goal that you're working towards hitting your goal weight, making a certain amount of money. You know, up-leveling your relationship with your spouse, growing closer to God, whatever it is, it's that big outcome goal that will tell you that you've finished right but you finished the goal. And outcome goals, as I said before, I believe that those need to be almost unrealistic, almost scary to be able to talk about right almost makes you feel uncomfortable to be able to share it with anybody because it seems so big and so lofty. Now I'm not talking about setting impossible goals like let's make that clear. This is not about setting a goal that you look at and you're like, it's like literally impossible for me to hit that. The like fine line is, if you say that goal out loud, it feels uncomfortable. Okay? It feels a little bit uncomfortable to say it. It's not like impossible. You don't look at it and go, Oh my gosh, that's literally impossible. There's no way that I can do it. But it's also not like something that you're like, Oh, yeah, that's like super easy, right? It's in between there, and one of the ways that you can know that you've kind of hit that sweet spot is it feels uncomfortable to share it, or it feels uncomfortable to say it out loud. That's kind of a sign that you are pushing yourself, you're pushing yourself outside of the comfort zone. And I don't have to tell you that all of the results that you want are currently without outside of your current comfort zone. Every other result that you've been able to create in your life or in your comfort zone. In order to create a new result, you have to step outside of that comfort zone. So if you're looking at a goal and it makes you feel a little bit comfortable, that's a really good sign that that's going to push you and cause you to grow in order to hit that goal. So that's an outcome goal. That's the big thing that you're working towards.

Process Goal 19:11  

Now, that is different from a process goal. A process goal is what actions need to happen in order for you to then reach the outcome goal. Okay. So when we start to set process goals, they are different; they are their goals that we set in order to drive us towards the outcome that we want to create. And this is if they differ in the way that you set them.

Set Both Outcome and Process Goals 19:37  

So when I talk about setting outcome goals that are big and lofty and feel uncomfortable, that is different from when you're setting process goals, which should be very concrete and specific and measurable, measurable and binary, and something within your reach. Okay, and so, there it's really important that you know that you need to be setting both types of goals. This isn't like, either, or like either, you set outcome goals or you set process goals. No, you need to set both you need to have the outcome goal you want, and then the process goals in order to get there.

More on Outcome Goal 20:09  

And let me just say something a little bit about creating that outcome goal. One of the things that I find when people are creating these outcome goals and these, you know, these big lofty things, the things that make them feel a little bit uncomfortable, is they aren't specific in how they will know when they have achieved it. And so yes, your outcome goal should be big and it should be lofty. But it should also be definite, it should be an ability to look at it and say, Yes, I've achieved it. No, I haven't. What I find a lot of times with outcome goals is they become very ethereal for people. They're like, I want my dream body. And you're like, Okay, cool. But like how will you know when you've achieved your dream body? And so, when you're setting that outcome goal, I want you to ask yourself that question. That's a really powerful question to ask how will I know when I've achieved it? I want a better relationship by snap my spouse awesome. How will you know when you've achieved a better relationship with your spouse? I want to draw closer to God. Awesome. How will you know when you are drawn closer to God and making that very concrete? And so an outcome goal? Yes, it's big. Yes, it's, you know, scary. Yes, it's like out of your comfort zone. But it also is something that's very definite, and you can say whether or not you've achieved it.

More on Process Goal 21:25 

And when you do that, then the process goals become really clear and the process, in order to get you there, becomes really clear. Because if you say, Oh, I want to achieve my dream body, and my dream body looks like a body fat percentage of 21%. You know, being able to hit a bodyweight squat, whatever, and you list out the things that you mean when you say you want your dream body. Now we have things that we can work towards, right? How are we going to work towards getting a body fat percentage of 21%? How are we going to work towards getting you a bodyweight squat? How are we going to work towards those specific things and now we can start to set process goals. For each of those goals, so what is a process goal? A process goal is how the actions that you're going to take in order to drive you towards the outcome. Okay, so how you're going to get to that outcome. And when we start talking about process goals, it's really important that we become specific, that we become measurable, and that we become binary.

Mistake #4- Goals Set Are Not Specific, Not Measurable and Not Binary 22:25  

And this brings us to mistake number four that I see people making. And that is that when they set a goal, it isn't specific, or it isn't measurable, or it isn't binary. Now, when I say binary, I mean that you can answer it's so binary is like, you know, a one or a zero in computer-speak, right? It's either one or zero, it's on or it's off. It's a yes or it's no. And so, when you set your process goals, I want you to ask yourself that question, look at the goal and say, Can I answer this in a yes or a no? Is this specific enough that I can look at this goal at the end of the week? And say, Yes, I hit that. No, I didn't. If you find yourself using words like more or better, that's not specific. I want to eat more vegetables. That is not a specific goal. At the end of the week, you are not able to look at that and say, did I eat more vegetables like more vegetables compared to what compared to the week before compared to someone who's a vegetarian, like compared to what? And so if you can make that word more, that word better, more specific, you're gonna set yourself up for success. I want to eat two vegetables a day for five days this week, right? That's very concrete. At the end of the week, I can look back and I can say did I eat two vegetables a day? Five days this week? Yes or no? Binary. Okay. And so process goals must be specific. They must be measurable and they must be binary. So that in the end, you can go back and review the goal and say yes, I hit it. No, I didn't. And you can do a, what I like to call a debrief with your goals.

Review Your Goals and Learn From It 24:05 

And this is a mistake that I see a lot of people doing is they set goals and then they never, ever revisit them. And if you don't ever revisit your goals, you are not learning the lessons that are there for you to learn. A goal is not just about setting it and hitting it. A goal oftentimes is about setting it and not hitting it and learning the lesson that is present there for you to learn. And I talked about this concept a lot in Episode Number 28. Where I taught where it's called failure doesn't exist if you have not listened to that episode. That's the next episode I want you to listen to because I talk about a lot of these concepts of failure and what it costs us to try and avoid failure and how we can reframe failure to something that is going to be a lot more positive. But that's one of the things I talked about is if you aren't willing to set a goal, not hit it, and then learn the lesson. You will only continue to repeat the lesson until you are willing to learn it. And so a mistake that I see a lot of people making is that they set a goal. And then they don't ever revisit that goal. So we must have a system in place where you are setting a goal, you are creating an outcome goal, then you are creating process goals in order to get you to that outcome that is specific and measurable and binary. And then you are revisiting those process goals and doing a debrief of how did you do the last week. Did you hit it? Did you not hit it? If you didn't hit it great. No big deal. What caused you to not. What prevented you from hitting that goal? And how can you create a new plan for the next week, and if you aren't willing to do that you've you aren't willing to review your goals and look at what worked and what didn't and learn the lesson there for the times that things don't work because guess what, it's not always gonna work. That's not a requirement for achieving big things. And some of the biggest breakthroughs that I've been able to have is when I set a goal, I don't achieve it. And I'm willing to sit there and learn the lesson and look back and say, what prevented me from achieving this goal? And how can I make a change in the upcoming week or month or launch or whatever, to be able to create a new outcome this next week and that debrief in that analysis and that reflection period is incredibly important so that you can learn the lesson so that you do not have to repeat it. Remember, whether or not you hit your goal, it has zero meaning zero meaning you can hit your goal. It doesn't mean anything, you can not hit your goal. It doesn't mean anything. But what is there is either a result of the lesson. And both are incredibly valuable. If you are willing to learn the lesson, you will just stay stuck repeating it over and over and over again until you're willing to learn it.

Mistake #5- Not Setting a Floor and a Ceiling For Your Goals 26:56 

Okay, so this last mistake for goal setting is specifically related to processing goals. And that is that you aren't setting a floor and a ceiling for your goals. And what that means when I say the floor is that you are setting the minimum amount that you are committed to doing in the next week. So let's take this goal of eating two vegetables during the week. What is the minimum amount that you are willing to commit to that? It's like, yeah, I can absolutely hit that. Maybe for you, that's three days, right? That feels really easy. Like of course, I can commit to eating two vegetables three days this week. Awesome. That's your floor. That's the minimum amount that you need to do in order to be successful with your goal. And then your ceiling is something that maybe feels a little bit loftier, a little bit more challenging, but is within your realm of possibility. So maybe then your ceiling goal is you know, my floor goals. I'm going to eat it for three days a week. My ceiling goal, I'm going to eat it six days a week. And what this does It gives you a range to be able to work in. Because what happens with a lot of people is they set a goal and we like to set these lofty goals we like to, like, you know, push ourselves, I'm going to exercise seven days next week, when you literally exercise like one day, the week before, right? We think we're gonna make these huge jumps from one to seven. And then what happens when you miss a day, you're like, Oh, well, not gonna hit my goal. So I'm just not gonna work out the rest of the week. Right? We do that to ourselves. And so what's the benefit of setting a floor and a ceiling is, is yeah, you can shoot for that. You know, six, seven days, you can shoot for that? Absolutely. But we've also set a floor, which is the minimum amount that we are committed to doing. So if you are wanting to work out seven days next week, but you only worked out one last, you know, this week. Well, let's set your floor for two right because that's progress. That's progress from where you were the week before. So your floor is where you're committing to doing at least two workouts. If you do two workouts you have been successful. You have hit the goal. And now maybe we set your ceiling for seven, right after those two, then you're reaching for that, that seven. And that's great to be able to propel you forward. But if you've hit the two, then you've completed your goal for the week.

Floor and Ceiling Goals and What It Can Do To Your Progress (Process Goal)  29:12 

And so this concept of setting a floor and a ceiling with your process goals is really valuable because it prevents you from throwing in the towel, which we like to do. We call that the all or nothing mentality. And I actually have a really good podcast episode on that as well. Episode Number 58 is a really good one to listen to where I talk about the all or nothing mentality and how it speaks into our journeys. But setting a floor and a ceiling helps prevent you from throwing in the towel. And when you're setting your floor and ceiling goals. I want you to look back on the previous week to be able to set that floor goal. So just like I did when I said, Okay, if you're wanting to work out seven days this week, I don't recommend working out seven days, because you need to rest days but we're just going to go with an example. If you're setting a goal to work out seven days and last week, you worked out one day a week, then we would set our floor goal simply a little bit ahead of what you did last week. So if you worked out one-time last week, we would set our floor goal two times. And then sure, we can set our ceiling goal at seven if you want to. But I want you to be setting your floor goal a little bit better, slightly better than you did the previous week. So if we're talking about macro counting, we're talking about tracking your macros and you're wanting to hit your macros seven days this week, right? But last week, you only hit them for two days. Well, let's say your floor goal for hitting your numbers three days this week and your ceiling goal for hitting at seven. So if you've hit your goal of getting it three days, you know that you've made progress from the week before and then you can continue to work towards that seven. So setting floor and ceiling goals is a really powerful concept when it comes to making sure that you're continuing to progress week to week. But not setting your goals so lofty that you end up throwing in the towel if and when you don't, you know hit that big huge lofty goal. Now that's specifically for process goals.

Floor and Ceiling Goals and What It Can Do Your Outcome Goals  31:03

I also like to do something a little bit different for, or along the same lines, I should say, for outcome goals. And what I will often set as an outcome goal. Remember, these are like those big goals that make you feel a little bit uncomfortable and you say it out loud, so I will make sure that I am setting a good, better and best goal. And so specifically, I'm thinking in terms of my business when I'm doing maybe a promotion, and I will set you to know, a revenue goal or a client served goal, and I will set a good, better, best goal. So my good goal is like yeah, we did a great job. You know, maybe that number doesn't feel super scary, it feels like something we can pretty much hit, then that you know, a better goal is a little bit more like I'm not sure that you know, that would be that'd be pretty amazing. If we hit it and then that best goal is like, Whoa, it would be like earth-shattering if we hit this head this best goal. And so I use that when I'm setting my outcome goals is what would be good, better and best for that outcome goal. And then when you're setting your process goals, which are the goals that you set on the way to get there, that's when you pull on those floor and ceiling goals.

Get Involved  32:14 

Now, you've been sitting here, you've been listening to me, you've been learning. And you and I both know that learning something doesn't actually change anything in your life until you actually start to implement it. And so what I'm going to encourage you to do right now is to create a plan to take what you've learned and implemented this next week. So some of the questions that you can start to ask yourself, and you can, you know, even pause this podcast and write these down, I think there's such power in writing down our goals. And what we're working towards is, what is your outcome goal.

Set Your Outcome Goal  32:49 

So whether this is whatever aspects of your life you're wanting to set a goal and I really encourage you to start with one. We can get better at this and you can start to set goals in multiple areas of your life but I'm going to really encourage you to zero in on one goal, one outcome goal that you want to achieve. And so think about what is somewhere that you're looking to uplevel in your life or a goal that you are looking to achieve. And what would be that outcome? If you want to set a good, better, best goal, you totally can, or you can just set one goal. Remember, it should feel a little uncomfortable, it should feel a little bit hairy, scary. It should push you to think, you know, when you think about that goal, you think about you know what, I need to do things differently. I can't just continue doing the same things. What got you here won't get you there. And so if you continue to repeat the same actions, you're going to get the same results. And so an outcome goal is something that requires you to do, be, act differently in order to achieve it. So what is your outcome goal? And remember, you want to get very specific, this needs to be something that you can say yes, I hit it. No, I didn't. Eating better is not a good outcome goal, eating more vegetables is not a good outcome goal. Those are not like specific enough to let you say yes, I hit it. No, I didn't. Get really specific and tangible here. And the more you can create in your mind of like, what this will look and feel like when you have achieved it, the better. So sit with that for a minute, you know, walk yourself through. I like to call it the Miracle Morning, where you pretend that you wake up and the miracles happen and you've been able to create the result that you wanted to create and walk through your day. What feels different, what is different, what actions do you take that are different? You know, what, what do you feel like as you go through your day because you've created that result? The more you can get clear on that outcome that you're trying to create, the better you'll be able to do at setting process goals in order to get there. So that's the first question to answer is what is your outcome goal? What are you trying to work towards? And if you don't know, and sometimes I'll have clients be like, well, I don't know. A good way to get around that is to start asking yourself If what you don't want, sometimes it's easier for us to list all the things that we do not want. And then it's really easy because the opposite of that is what you want. And so that's a way that you can start to elicit the things that you want is by getting clear on the things that you don't want.

Then Set Your Process Goal  35:17 

And then the next step, once you have that outcome goal, remember, you have to have that outcome goal first, then you can start thinking about what is your one progress goal for the week, what is one action that you can take that is different from the previous week that will drive you towards that result. And I really encourage you just to start with one, it's really easy to want to dive in again and set, you know, five process goals for the week. And you can start to layer and set multiple goals for a week. But I really would encourage you to start with one. What is one process goal that you are committed to doing that is specific, that is measurable, that is binary, that has a floor and a ceiling for this next week that's going to drive you toward your goal and make sure you write that down, write it down.

Go and Review Your Goal  36:04 

And then that last piece is, at the end of the time period, whatever time period, you said, I like to go in weeks, because it's just kind of a nice time period. You don't have to go weeks, you can do whatever, whatever you want. But at the end of that time period that you've set, then the last piece is to go and review it. Go and review that goal. Debrief it with yourself, what went well, what did it. If you hit the goal, awesome, like great, keep going, set a new goal, reach for something a little bit higher. If you didn't reach the goal, awesome, that has no inherent meaning, other than the meaning you choose to give it, and instead of giving it some meaning, let's look for the lesson. And the question you can ask yourself, what prevented me from hitting this goal last week? And what can I implement in the week ahead? That will overcome that? And those are two really powerful questions. Ask yourself what prevented me from hitting that goal last week? And what can I implement in the upcoming coming week that will have a different outcome that will allow me to be able to hit the goal? And that is you sitting and being willing to learn the lesson that is present to you. Those who are willing to learn the lessons do not have to continue repeating them. And you can take this into any area of your life. If there's an area of your life that you feel like you are stuck, that you feel like you keep, like just spinning your wheels. That's something I hear a lot of women saying I'm just spinning my wheels. If you currently feel that you feel stuck, you feel like you're spinning your wheels, that is likely evidence that you are simply repeating a lesson that you have not yet been willing to learn and implement moving forward. And what an opportunity that is. Again, there's no meaning in that, just that there is an opportunity there for you to get past that feeling of being stuck by simply choosing to learn the lesson that is being presented to you.

Let’s sum it up!

Okay, so let's do a quick recap of the most common mistakes that I see women making with their goals. Number one is you're not setting them, you're not using goals yet. And that's an easy fix, you now have all the tools that you need in order to set and achieve and work towards some of your some of the goals that are going to really drive you to be able to uplevel yourself and become a better version of you. Number two, you're not setting big enough goals. You may have a fear of failure and what it means about you when you fail. And we reframed that, and we talked about how setting goals that are big and scary, are an important part of you reaching and becoming a new person. The results that you want and currently do not have are outside of your comfort zone, which means you have to set goals that are outside of your comfort zone in order to get there and to achieve those things that you don't have. Number three, we talked about outcome versus process goals and a mistake that I see is people don't understand the difference between an outcome goal and a process goal. Outcome goals are big, they stretch you. There's something that, you know, if you just continue to live life as normal, you would not hit, you have to become you have to be someone, you have to take different actions in order to reach them. That's an outcome goal. And then a process goal is something very concrete and measurable and you know, within your reach maybe a little bit pushing you, but it's not this big, huge leap, to be able to hit them and those process goals as you set and hit those process goals, they naturally progress you towards that outcome goal that you're trying to create. Mistake number four is that people don't set goals. And these are specifically for process goals that are binary, specific, and measurable. So make sure as you're setting those goals that you can look at that goal at the end of the time period and say yes, I hit it, or No, I didn't. Again, no, I didn't hit it is totally fine if you're willing to learn the lesson that is presented to you. And then the fifth mistake that I see made is that you don't set floors and ceilings with your goal. So a floor is a minimum amount that you are committed to achieving in the next week, and the ceiling is maybe your stretch or your reach goal. And if you've hit your minimum out, if you've hit your floor, you have achieved your goal for the week. And you will know that you will have progressed from the week before because that floor goal will be just a little bit more than you did the week before. But then you can also continue to work towards that ceiling goal. So give yourself that range is a really, really valuable way to make sure that you're continuing to make progress without throwing in the towel because it's something that you're not able to achieve that week or because you miss a day.

Insights about Goals  40:35 

Now, the last and final thing that I want to say about goals is that goals are not about whether or not you hit them. They are about who you become in the process of reaching for them. And I've learned this so many times in my own personal journey both in business as well as fitness as well as other areas of my life that whether or not I hit a goal,  it doesn't really matter. What matters is who I become in the process of reaching for that goal. Because I have to become somebody different. I have to take different actions in order to even just reach for that goal. And so for me, it's like whether or not I hit it, it doesn't make a difference. Because I know in the process of reaching and striving and working towards that goal, I am going to become an uplevel version of myself. And to me, the whole point of this life is for us to become our highest and best versions of ourselves. And that means constantly setting goals and constantly reaching for them, and sometimes not hitting those goals. And that's part of the process like that is part of our learning and growing. And so I hope as you come away from this podcast, my vision for you is for you to be excited, for you to start to think about how you can implement some of these things that I taught in your goal setting practice. And I really would encourage you, especially if you don't have a current goal-setting routine, that you start small, we don't need to set seven goals in seven different areas of your life. Pick one outcome goal, pick one process goal that you're working on this week. And then next week, set a new process goal. And then the next week set a new one. And as you take little inspired direct action that is going to propel you towards that outcome goal way more than if you tried to set 15 process goals every week and couldn't keep track of them and don't end up hitting any of them. So take it slow. Take it small, a small, simple compounded effort will always yield more than a short amount of just intensity. And so consider that as you create this new routine and this new habit of goal setting.

Please Share!  42:57 

I hope that this podcast episode offered something for you. I hope it may be shifted your perspective a little bit about goals. And if that's the case, will you please share this, share this on your social media.  Snap a screenshot right now, tell me what your biggest aha moment or your biggest takeaway was from this episode and share it to your social media. I love hearing your guys' takeaways from the podcast. And my hope is that this one made you think a little bit and made you think outside of your current perspective. And it challenged you in ways that are going to help you to grow. And if that's the case for you, it's going to be able to do that for somebody else that you know and love. And so the best thing that you can do and the best way you can support this and the best way you can say thank you for these types of free episodes and free content is for you to share it. So thank you so much to those of you who do. And then the last way is to rate and review the podcast on iTunes. That really helps me. It really helps get the podcast out there and so many of you guys have already taken the time to do it. So if you've already taken the time to write a rating and review for the podcast, thank you so incredibly much. And if you haven't done that yet, will you please take the next three minutes and scroll down to the bottom of the Biceps After Babies iTunes page and go hit that rating and review and let me know how you're using the podcast and what it's doing for your life. Those ratings and reviews mean the absolute world to me. So thank you so much for taking that time to do it.

Outro

Hold up, sister friend. Do you love Biceps after Babies radio? If so, the best way to say thank you is to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on iTunes. I know, every podcaster wants you to leave a review, but it's because those reviews help the podcast to reach more people. And I do truly want to know what you think. If this particular episode resonated with you, will you also please share it? Either send the link to someone who would find it valuable or take a screenshot and post it to your social media and tell your friends and family why they should listen. Make sure you tag me @biceps.after.babies so I can hear your feedback and give you a little love. And you know, if you aren't already following me on Instagram or Facebook, that's the perfect time to hit that follow button. Thank you for being here and listening to Biceps after Babies radio.