341: 5 Secrets To Getting Results Faster with Brad Bizjack

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 341.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and I have invited my friend Brad back for an amazing episode of really diving deep into what it takes to be able to be successful. And I love this episode because Brad really broke it down and gave us five actionable steps so that you can create results in your life faster.  

And listen, maybe you're like me, and if I have the choice between something happening slow and something happening fast, I'm always going to vote for it to happen faster. So I love this episode because Brad does such a job of breaking down some of the things that keep us stuck, some of the things that we can't see that keep us stuck, and then really actionable things that we can start to do today to be able to get unstuck, to be able to break out, and to be able to have that success that we really desire. Now what's really cool about this episode is we talk a lot about concepts and actions that you can take. But if you want to take the next step and you actually want to take the action, you don't want to just think about what he's talking about, but you want to actually apply it to your own individual life. 

Brad is hosting a free challenge starting next Monday, and you can join me and him and a bunch of other people in actually creating a plan for success in your life. In that challenge, we're going to define what success looks like for you in different areas of your life, figure out what's blocking you and preventing you from that success, and then start to work on it together to be able to have that breakthrough moment that we all want to be able to be more successful in whatever journey it is that we're going on, whether it's a health and fitness journey, whether it's a relationship journey, whether it's a career journey. The things that Brad teaches are applicable to all these areas of life where we desire success. 

So if you want to join me in that challenge, head to bicepsafterbabies.com/success. Like I said, I'll be doing the challenge live with you and Brad will be there and a lot of other people. And I'm really excited for my audience to be able to dive in and do some of this work that is going to help success to come faster to you. Who doesn't want that? So bicepsafterbabies.com/success or you can go to the show notes to grab the link. Without further ado, let's dive into that episode with Brad Bizjack.  

Amber B 03:05 

I'm so excited to welcome to the podcast, my good friend, Brad Bizjack. Brad, how you doing? 

Brad Bizjack 03:11 

Doing amazing, my friend. Thank you so much for having me back today. I'm so excited to serve your listeners. 

Amber B 03:16 

Yes. We are getting into some juicy details because one of the things I love about Brad is the topic that we're going to cover is a little bit intangible, but I feel like Brad is really good at taking the intangible and making it actionable. So we're not going to just talk fluff and theoreticals during the podcast today. We're going to actually make it very tangible and give some really good tips for things that you can start to implement today that's going to help you to be able to improve your results, get them faster and get to the outcome that you want, creating the life that you want to live. So thanks for being here, Brad. Thanks for being such an awesome guest. And I'm excited for today's topic.  

Brad Bizjack 03:52 

Yeah, we're going to have some fun. I'm excited to get into it. 

Amber B 03:55 

Okay. So like I said, we're talking about mindset and I feel like it's such a buzzword. First of all, everybody wants to improve their mindset. I feel like maybe even five to 10 years ago, people didn't talk about it. But recently people have realized mindset is more and more important. So more people talk about that word. But before we dive into really talking about mindset, I want to make sure we're all on the same page. When we use the word, what do you mean when you say your mindset? What would you create as the definition of that?  

Brad Bizjack 04:25 

That's a great question. And I think that this word almost makes you roll your eyes, right? Mindset, oh you know mind. 

Amber B 04:31 

Right. Yeah. A little overused maybe.  

Brad Bizjack 04:34 

Very overused. And a lot of people associate it with being positive, right? I should just be positive about things. But blind positivity alone is just as toxic as pessimism. Because it means you're avoiding the challenges in your life. It means you're avoiding coming face to face with them. So what is mindset? A really simple way of looking at it. And I like to go way deeper than, I think a lot of people go very high level with this and they'll say like how you think. Well, have you ever considered that how you think is a result of something that's even deeper than that? Where it's the sum total of the limiting beliefs, the habitual emotions, the thought patterns, and the identities that you carry about yourself subconsciously. That is a mindset. It's where you're conditioned to live. And a good way to think about it is let's say that I'm trying to get an eye exam done, right? Because I can't see very well. And you would define success as reading the bottom row of letters. For the listeners here, it's probably like losing weight or getting in the best shape of your life or whatever it is.  

I think a lot of times people will go in and they'll try, they'll effort at doing something. They'll try really freaking hard at doing something. And it's like they're trying, it's like trying to look at the bottom row of letters, squinting and leaning forward with the wrong glasses prescription. But when you go into an optometrist, they do that little contraption thingy and it's, you know, one or two, one or three, two or three, right? And all of a sudden when they nail the prescription, you can see the bottom row clearly and you don't have to effort as much to see success, right? Because the lens in which you're viewing life has changed. And so a mindset is the lens in which you are viewing your life. The perception of the circumstances and that's caused by beliefs, thoughts, emotions, identities that you carry subconsciously. Does that make sense?  

Amber B 06:30 

So good. Yeah. And you know me, I love a good metaphor. So I appreciate a metaphor like that. Um, and I think it's really true. That whole idea of efforting is something I see a lot in my clients where it's like, I want to lose weight. And so I'm just going to try harder, right? I'm just going to like do better at sticking to my diet. And that works for a little while, right? Just kind of like you can squint to some extent to, to see the eye exam, but it's going to fail. It's never going to be great long-term. It's never going to be able to be long lasting. And when we can actually make a substantial shift, it makes the whole process easier. You know, not, I'm not saying it's easy, right? I think you and I would both agree. Like there's still effort. It's not like you just lay in your bed and just all of the success comes to you. 

Brad Bizjack 07:12 

Manifest health. 

Amber B 07:13 

Right. There is effort required, but it's easier. It's, you're not being held back by, by that, that in that thing that you can't see that subconscious mindset, um, that is controlling so much of our, our day-to-day life. So I think we've probably made a pretty good case of like why this is important. And specifically, if you're struggling in any area of your life, I think you would say, right, we can talk about the context of fitness, but, um, people struggle in relationships. They struggle in making money. They struggle in their job. They struggle with their kids, right? There's, there's lots of lots of areas of context where your mindset matters. Um, and I think we've made the case hopefully that what we're going to talk about today is important.  

Brad Bizjack 07:49 

Yes. Very much.  

Amber B 07:50 

It can be a make a break moment for you as you're listening.  

Brad Bizjack 07:54 

Yeah. And honestly, your external world is the mirror for your internal world, right? What you experience on the outside, whether that's, if you're in, uh, if you're in great shape, if you have a great relationship with your family, it's a mirror for what's going on inside, because I think a lot of times people will try to change the fruits, right? Which is not bad to do. Like, but if you go to an apple tree and say, I wish this was a pear tree, you could tape on pears all day long. You could try the right strategies all day long, but at the end of the day, it's still an apple tree. You have to dig up those roots and plant a pear tree. If you want it to be a pear tree, I don't know if pears grow on trees, but we're going to go with that.  

Amber B 08:29 

They do. They actually in fact do. 

Brad Bizjack 08:30 

Okay. There we go. So yes, totally agree. 100% same page. It's so incredibly important that this is looked at because it impacts everything. In fact, if you have the right strategies, a lot of times people will have the best strategies in the world, right? Like your macro stuff, best I've ever seen, right? It's incredible. People can have the best strategies in the world to achieve a certain goal, but if their mind is wired a certain way, let's say for scarcity, for fear, for survival, for perfection, for doubt, for worry, it won't even matter if they have the right strategies because they'll either not apply it fully, or they'll say, well, it works easier for everyone else, or other people don't understand what's going on in my life, or it almost feels like they take two steps forward and three steps back and get in their own way. And they're consistently inconsistent with it because of what's going on behind the scenes. So yes, it's very much an important thing that plays a role in literally every result you get in your life. 

Amber B 09:24 

Yeah. And just to share a personal experience for me, when I started coaching, I found macro counting. It was something that worked really well for me and for my body. And I was very excited to start to share it with everybody else. And I started getting clients and I had a very similar experience where as a coach, I had this tool that I knew worked, right? I had experience of it, of being a very powerful tool. And it was so interesting to me because I had a couple of clients who were really successful, and then I have a couple of clients who weren't, and then I would have some clients who were successful, and then some clients weren't. And I said, I'm doing the same thing. I'm using the same tool. They're all using this tool. 

Why do some clients get better results than others? And that was when I started to realize as a coach that it wasn't just about the tool, right? You can have a really amazing tool, a tool that is scientific, a tool that works, but if you're trying to apply it to someone who is seeing the world in a way that isn't aligned with the results that they want to get, it doesn't matter how amazing of a tool you have, it's not going to stick. And so, as a coach, that's when I really started diving into some of this stuff that Brad talks about so much, because I saw it personally as a coach of, I could only get so far with my clients by giving them this really amazing tool. And to get that next set of clients to be able to get results, I had to think about how they were thinking about the world and get them to be able to shift their mindset in a way that was going to be more successful. 

Brad Bizjack 10:41 

I love that. And I think that a lot of times when people try to change, one of the things that holds them back is that they try to change at just the behavior level. And you'll notice when this happens, people will start a strategy really, really well, and they'll stick with it for two, three weeks, right? And they'll do things well. And then all of a sudden, something gets in the way, they fall off track. And next thing you know, it's two months later and they're getting back on track again. And they start to develop a limiting story that says, I've tried everything, right? I've tried everything, it's not working for me. 

No, if you've tried everything, you'd have the results you want. Have you really tried everything? Well, I've tried thousands of things. Have you really named them? No, you haven't tried thousands of things. You've tried one or two things inconsistently. And the evidence is there that those things work. And so that's what happens when we try to change the behavior level instead of going much deeper to the subconscious level. 

Amber B 11:28 

Yeah, that's so good. So good. So I want to get to the meat of the conversation. And I want to really get into some of these actionable things that listeners can start to do and start to implement and start to think about in order for them to get results faster, right? And we can qualify those results as whatever it is that you're wanting, whether it's losing weight, whether it's adding more muscle, whether it's PR-ing your deadlift, whatever it is that you're working towards, these things are going to be things that are going to be able to help you to get where you want to go faster.  

So Brad, we talked about, we're going to have five actionable things that listeners can do. So what is the first secret to speeding up the process of getting results, particularly with people who are the listeners who are listening, busy moms, trying to fit everything into their schedule, but wanting and yearning for that result that they have set in their mind?  

Brad Bizjack 12:13 

Oh, I love that question. And what I'm going to say is probably going to upset people. First of all, speaking of PRs, just hit a PR on bench two days ago.  

Amber B 12:24 

What did you hit? 

Brad Bizjack 12:25 

305, what up!  

Amber B 12:26 

Ohh! 

Brad Bizjack 12:26 

Perfect form. Let's go! Anyways. 

Amber B 12:30 

Oh, you got to get to three plates. That's the next thing is three plates, man.  

Brad Bizjack 12:34 

Three plates, three plates. I'm almost there. That's 315, right? Three plates.  

Amber B 12:38 

315. Yeah.

Brad Bizjack 12:39 

All right. Next time I'm in, I'm going to go for it.  

Amber B 12:40 

That's amazing. That's awesome. I hate it that guys have so much higher PRs than like women. It drives me nuts. I can't even deadlift 305 right now. That's okay. We can celebrate other people's wins and be so excited for that. 

Brad Bizjack 12:55 

I love it.  

Amber B 12:56 

I'm so excited to be back.  

Brad Bizjack 12:57 

Anyways, had to celebrate with you. And it kind of leads into the very first piece of this. And the number one strategy for success is counterintuitive. Most of success is counterintuitive. What most people do is they set dreams and goals that they don't actually care about. They set dreams and goals that are based in reality or what their spouse says or what's currently going on in their life with their busyness of their kids and their life and all that stuff. And they don’t. 

Amber B 13:26 

Or what society says. I see that a lot with women that I work with.  

Brad Bizjack 13:32 

Yes, exactly. Society will say, well, you need to be this skinny and fit into this jean size or whatever it is. Who decided that? You do amazing posts about this is what a certain weight looks like from a healthy person. It's brilliant. It's amazing. And most people will base their dreams and their goals on what someone else wants, not what their heart actually wants, what society says, what their spouse says, whatever it is. And one of the greatest keys to success is having an unreasonable vision for your life. An unreasonable vision. 

I could go for literally a whole day on this. But if you think about little kids, the greatest example of success on earth are little kids. Because I think about my daughter Lily, right? She wants to be Elsa and Ariel from The Little Mermaid and Nala from The Lion King. And she literally will come upstairs dressed as all of those things at the same time. There's no feelings of shame, guilt, whatever it is. She just is those characters. And her creativity, her energy is at an 11 out of 10. And it's such a beautiful example of success. But somewhere along the way, we're told to sit down, shut up, do it perfectly, get an A+, be a perfectionist, or you're a failure. 

And I look up to my daughter in so many ways with this because, and this is so important, you don't set goals and dreams to attain them. You don't set them for the certainty of attainment. You set them to become a new person. You set them to raise your energy. And so when the dream and goal and outcome you're looking for in your life is not just about getting out of pain, but it's actually about what your heart truly wants, it makes your heart beat faster. And then here's what's interesting. If you think about taking action, let's say towards counting your macros. If you're in a lower energy state, and you're about to do that, you're about to count your macros, and you're about to follow the system that Amber's provided, you're not going to do it if you're in a low energy state. But when you're playing make-believe in your life, and you're literally being a little kid, and you have dreams and goals based on what your heart actually wants, the energy is automatically higher. 

And when the energy is automatically higher, the stories playing in your head automatically change. And when those stories automatically change, well then what happens next is you take the actions that will actually yield different results, and you see yourself in a totally different light. And so the first and probably the easiest one to do that frustrates people the most is to be unreasonable with your dreams and your goals. And to set a dream and a goal that is so exciting and so almost unrealistic that it moves you into action because you actually care about it. Instead of just being safe, boring, mediocre, like most people.  

Amber B 16:08 

Yeah, I agree. I think so many people are afraid of failure that they don't want to set a goal that they don't think that they can achieve. Like, why would you even do that? And then it just proves to me that I'm not good enough. And then you just play small for your whole life. And I think what you're saying is how much more exciting life is if you stop playing small and you dream big. And I think this is what you're saying too, is that it makes you excited to work on it. And I think so many of us are working on our goals as if they're like a slog. It's like we set these goals that then feel like a slog to work on. And you can imagine how you show up if it's just a slog is going to be very different than if you're jazzed as all get out about achieving that goal, you're going to show up in a completely different energy.  

Brad Bizjack 16:50 

Totally. I think a lot of times people will have laundry at the same level of emotional intensity as their dreams. And they wonder why they're not excited about it. It's like, okay, well I have to count my macros today. I have to do my laundry today. I have to do these things. And it's like, well, of course you're not going to be excited about it. You haven't like, I promise you, if you prioritize what you actually care about, when you run out of underwear, you're going to wash your underwear. Your dream is not another chore on your to-do list, right? It's what you're actually excited about, what you're moving forward towards. And it causes you when you're electrified by it, it causes you to show up in every other context of your life differently. You have this zest for life that changes how you parent your kids. It changes the passion in your marriage. It changes literally everything because you've taken care of going after what you want instead of being a martyr and saying, everyone else's needs come first. 

Amber B 17:38 

Yeah, yeah. And I'm just making these connections as you're talking of like that, it makes so much sense as to if you're doing a goal for somebody else. And I made the example of society. I think a lot of women that I work with set a goal for their physical appearance in order to get approval from other people, right? Get approval from society to be okay, to have society tell them that they are prettier or better or more worthy. And you can see how when you set a goal from that place, the zest for it, you're working for somebody else. Instead of really diving deep and doing that work of saying, no, what do I want? If I was just on a desert island and there was nobody else around, what would I want to do? What would I want to create? Not for anybody else, not because anybody else tells me, but what does my heart want? That's where you can really tap into that zest for making it exciting and working towards something that really means something to you. 

Brad Bizjack 18:34 

Can I add something to that too?  

Amber B 18:35 

Yeah.  

Brad Bizjack 18:36 

What's amazing about it is the typical societal results that most people try to go after, those things are almost like a natural by-product of going after what you really, really want. What I mean by that is I think about, let's say my dreams and goals, right? When it comes to my health, for example, my focus is energy and vitality, not having a six pack. It's energy, vitality, feeling alive. And what's so cool is from that place, taking care of those objectives, I notice that I'll naturally treat my body different and I naturally lose the weight or get into shape or whatever it is. It's like a by-product of it because it's not the intent. The intent is what your heart actually wants.  

Amber B 19:17 

So good. Okay. So that's number one. I love it. What's number two?  

Brad Bizjack 19:21 

Number two is something that we've touched on a little bit before in this show, and it is identifying and shattering the greatest limiting beliefs holding you back from success. And I'm going to go from a different angle when I talk about this. It's so incredibly important. Most people try to change, like we talked about at the behavior level. And when you try to change the behavior level, change typically lasts two weeks and then it falls off. But if we take a look at a belief, what’s a belief? A belief is just a feeling of certainty about what something means. And if I were to ask this audience, what color is the sky? Most people would say blue. But is that true? Is it actually true that it's blue? Is it blue in the morning when it's sunrise? Is it blue during a sunset? Is it blue at night? Or is it actually not any color? It's just light being reflected. So I brought doubt to a belief. Well, most people don't realize that they carry beliefs about themselves, their identity and who they are. And they don't realize how much that's influencing if they apply a certain behavior or tactic or strategy.  

So we talked a little bit earlier about how you can have the right strategies and it would work for other people, but it won't work for you. And the reason is because you haven't changed the belief level. So let's talk about what is the strongest belief we have. The strongest belief we have is a belief in who we are. And this next sentence that I'm going to say, you might want to write this down. It's a good quotable. The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with who you already think you are. And so let's use two examples. 

Let's say that someone has a belief when it comes to their identity saying I'm fat or I'm big boned. Let's play it as an example versus someone that has a belief that says I'm an athlete. Now, I'll just pop quiz for you, Amber. If we were to go through and take a look at the person that identifies as fat or big boned or whatever it is, what beliefs would that person have about nutrition, about fitness, about wellness, just as a default?  

Amber B 21:17 

Yeah. That it's hard, that it's for everybody else, that it doesn't work for me in the same way that it works for my friends, that it takes too much effort, that it's laborious and boring and not fun. Yeah. Those are the ones off the top of my head.  

Brad Bizjack 21:32 

Okay, great. And so if someone has those beliefs, it takes so much effort, it's not fun, it's exhausting, all these things. Scale of one to 10, what level of potential are they stepping into to change their life? It's like a zero out of 10.  

Amber B 21:44 

Zero. Or like a negative. It's making it harder.  

Brad Bizjack 21:46 

Exactly. And then from a zero or a negative one out of 10, what level of inspired consistent action does that person take?  

Amber B 21:58 

None. 

Brad Bizjack 21:58 

None, right? And so what results does that person get?  

Amber B 22:02 

None.  

Brad Bizjack 22:02 

None.  

Amber B 22:03 

It reinforces.  

Brad Bizjack 22:04 

Yes, exactly. It reinforces the belief they already had, right? And so if you have a belief that says it's so hard, it's harder for other people, whatever it is, because of the identity that says I'm fat, I'm big boned, whatever it is, then here's a question. Who do you automatically surround yourself with if that's your belief structure?  

Amber B 22:21 

People who would reinforce that belief and tell you the things that you're telling yourself. 

Brad Bizjack 22:25 

Exactly, right? You surround yourself with those people. And by the way, what are you focusing on consuming? Like what are you focused on? Not meaning food, but what are you in terms of skill sets or how you're growing? What are you consuming if those are your belief systems, that's who you're surrounding yourself with?  

Amber B 22:42 

Yeah. You're listening to people who, again, who are confirming the things that you already think, that it's hard, that you can't do it, that we shouldn't expect people to change their behaviors or lose weight or anything like that. And you're just listening to more of that programming because it confirms what you already think and believe. And so you can feel really good about yourself.  

Brad Bizjack 22:58 

Yes, you're an excellent student, my friend. And then we take it a step lower and ask ourselves, well, okay, if that's what we're consuming, we're reinforcing these behaviors or these beliefs, what happens to the action that we take, the behaviors that we implement each and every day? What does that look like for the person that identifies as I'm fat or I'm big boned or I'm overweight or whatever it is?  

Amber B 23:20 

Well, then it's really easy to justify to yourself any of the decisions that you make that may not align with you saying you want to lose weight. And well, now it's really easy to justify to yourself that I'm just going to have this extra slice of pizza because, well, if I cut it out, it's not going to make a difference anyway because I can't do that. I can't make that change. So then your behavior is just reinforce that which you already believe.  

Brad Bizjack 23:39 

Yep. And then the results speak for themselves. You end up in the exact same spot versus the athlete. If you have a belief that says I'm an athlete, what beliefs or thought patterns does an athlete have on a daily basis?  

Amber B 23:51 

Yeah. I mean, there's just, even associated with that word, there's like this idea of structure. There's this idea of nourishment. There's idea of performance and, and eating for performance or idea of like consistency when it comes to a training regimen or an eating regimen. Um, you know, even just inherent in that name is just so much more structure and consistency, uh, in your behavior. 

Brad Bizjack 24:10 

And they surround themselves with?  

Amber B 24:12 

Other athletes.  

Brad Bizjack 24:13 

And then what actions do they take?  

Amber B 24:16 

Then they take actions like an athlete. They're more consistent. They eat the food, they go to the gym, they do their training program. They, you know, don't drink a ton on the weekends, right? Like you do those things that athletes do. And get the results the athletes get. 

Brad Bizjack 24:27 

Yes, exactly. And then you feel strong, powerful, capable, right? It's an incredible feeling. And so the reason I'm awesome job, by the way, the reason why I went through this is because most people just try to find another strategy to change their life. And a strategy is not bad, strategies can save you decades. You can't head East looking for a sunset, but we need to change the root so we can change the fruit. And I'm willing to bet in your programs, Amber, the majority of the conversations are actually about mindset, even though they have all of the behaviors in that, right? So it always comes down to what's going on behind the scenes. So then the question becomes, how do you actually break a belief, right? And it's really simple: three ways, introduce doubt to that belief, introduce pain to that belief, or have an unreasonable vision so big that it causes you to move past it, right? And so what's an example of doubt, right? I'll give an example when it comes to money, just because this is fresh in my mind. 

I used to have a belief that says money is really hard to make. Once you have it, it disappears. If you don't have a lot of it, you can't be happy. And I started to go through my life and I said, well, is that true? Like, is it actually true that money's hard to make? Huh? There's all these people that I've seen where it's not hard to make it introduces doubt, right? Is the sky blue? Really? Is it blue? That introduces doubt. What's another way? Pain. And this is uncomfortable, but if you ask yourself the consequences of what happens if I keep believing I'm fat or overweight or whatever it is, then think about the pain you're going to experience in your life three months, six months, a year from now, if you never changed that. 

A great example of this is from the movie, A Christmas Carol, where Ebenezer Scrooge, right? He's a total butthead. He's being mean and he's successful. And he thinks that's the reason he's successful. Until one night, three neuroassistive conditioning specialists showed up at his house, right? And they linked up pain to his belief structure, whether he was living to where he said, you know what, I'm going to change. And so if you ask yourself, what will this cost me? If I don't change this, who will this hurt? If I don't change this, you'll start changing, right? And then vision is obviously, what do you actually want to go after? What's your reason for changing? Those are the three simplest ways to actually start the process of breaking a belief.  

Amber B 26:41 

And so the idea is, I mean, this harkens back to the first thing that we said, right? When you're setting that big, huge, giant dream that feels unrealistic, that unrealistic vision for your life, it's helpful in helping to break down those beliefs that are getting in the way of which inhibit. 

Brad Bizjack 26:53 

100%. It gives you a reason to change.  

Amber B 26:56 

So good. So good. All right. What's number three?  

Brad Bizjack 26:59 

Number three is emotional mastery. Now this is so important, especially in the world of nutrition, emotional eating, right? Eating as a coping mechanism for feelings of lack of certainty, right? Or anything, right? Emotional overeating. It's, and something that I've been challenged with in my life before too. But think of how most people put pressure on themselves to live in perfection on a consistent basis, right? And this kind of goes back to what we talked about, about have the freaking cookie, right? Like it's so important. We put this pressure on ourselves to be so perfect with things, but the human nervous system can't take that amount of pressure. And so what we do when we put that pressure on ourselves to follow a nutrition plan perfectly is we will then interrupt that pressure with a limiting pattern for most people that's overeating or drinking or binge watching TV or smoking or whatever it is. And what immediately follows that interruption of that pressure is a sensation of guilt.  

And so now we feel guilty about not following through. So then what do we do? We be extra hard on ourselves to try to be even more perfect. And the cycle continues, perfection, guilt, perfection, guilt over and over and over again, because of these standards you put on yourself that are just not sustainable. You can't take that amount of pressure because success is never built on self punishment. It's built, it's built on celebration. And so if you take a look at the emotional state that you're in, when you choose to overeat or when you choose to do something that is harmful towards your body, chances are the emotions that precede those events are anger, frustration, overwhelm, depression, sadness, anxiety, whatever it is, right? So how do we take a look at those emotions and elevate our default setting to a higher place? So we're less likely to put that pressure on ourself and less likely to actually live in those states. And it's really simple. 

Most people think that their emotions are at the effect of what's going on in their life. They think it's because I'm at this weight, that's why I feel a certain way. No, it's because you feel a certain way that you're making decisions that lead to you being at this weight, right? And so it's, we need to take a look at the actual cause. So most people are a thermometer for their environment. They look around and they think, once this changes in my life, that's when I'll feel happier. But that's not true. Everybody has an emotional home they tend to go back to. And even if you don't like that home, it's where you live, right? If you don't like your house, the messiness of your house, you're still coming back to it. So we got to do some renovations. 

And most people don't realize that they're actually a thermostat. Have you ever noticed that most people have an emotion or a flavor of suffering they tend to live in, right? Frustrated people tend to get frustrated. Angry people tend to get angry. Anxious people tend to get anxious. That's just a sign that those emotions you're practicing the most often are just the most comfortable for you to live in. Because the devil you know how to deal with is easier than the devil you don't know how to deal with. Right? And so we need to elevate that up. So let me give you a metaphor about a thermostat real quick. Let's say that your favorite flavor of suffering, where you're living emotionally on a consistent basis, is set to let's say 55 degrees overwhelm. And your objective is 100 degrees, unconditional love, deep appreciation, just a beautiful life, right? And if you're in that beautiful state, you're naturally going to take better care of your body. If you're in overwhelm, you're going to compensate with lower level behaviors. So let's say our objective is 100 degrees. We're set at 55. Now something really tough in our lives could happen, right? Something depressing. And that temperature could drop all the way down to 20 degrees depression, right? Well, you'll feel it, but the thermostat will kick on, the furnace will kick on, and it will raise that temperature right back up, but only to 55, only to overwhelm, only to what you practice the most often, right? That's why people will go into these deep dark states, but they find their way to get back to just where they were before. 

And this is why, by the way, one of the reasons why you'll start really strong and then fall off because of the next thing I'm going to say, which is let's say something really good happens. You're making great progress and things are 90, 95 degrees. The AC kicks on. It can't be that good. And we sabotage it and get in our own way and drop right back down to overwhelm, which then leads to limiting behaviors. And so the key then becomes elevating that default emotional thermostat to a level that is in alignment with good choices. Because when the emotional thermostat is in alignment with choices that serve you, you will naturally from the root make a successful choice. So how do you do that? One of the greatest ways is to stop suppressing uncomfortable emotions. Most people make uncomfortable feelings wrong. And because they're suppressing them and they're making them wrong, that's what causes them to express them with an action with consequence. Versus instead, let's say I'm feeling anxiety and I notice it coming on. And my default is go, I don't want to feel this. I don't want to feel this. I just need a distraction. I'm going to smoke. I'm going to eat whatever it is.  

Instead, what if you just noticed you were anxious? What if you just said, huh, I'm feeling anxiety. That must mean I care a lot about the future. It automatically lowers the anxiety down and you feel more calm. You're less likely to make a poor choice. So what if the greatest key to getting rid of these uncomfortable emotions was actually to welcome them with open arms. And when you did, you would make more empowering choices. So that's a very high level of the third piece, which is elevating your emotional default setting, mastering your emotions.  

Amber B 32:46 

It's so good because I think the the like close, but very, very different is this toxic positivity of this idea of just like, just be happy. Just like always tell yourself it's okay. Always be in gratitude, regardless of whatever's happening. And I just love it. What you're saying is like emotional mastery doesn't mean just always telling yourself positive things. It actually means welcoming in whatever that, whichever is present and that the welcoming in of that, the noticing that the observing of it is the key, not just the pushing away of it and only seeing it in positive, positive, positive, positive. Cause I hear a lot of people who, who get it wrong in that way of just like, just tell yourself positive things and then it will work. And I love that you're, you're bringing in this idea of like, no, it's not, it's not bad to feel anxiety. It's not bad to feel sad or angry or any of these “negative emotions”. It's, it's allowing them to be present and not trying to fight against them. 

Brad Bizjack 33:40 

100%. It's so incredibly important that this is understood because a lot of people go to their garden and chant, there are no weeds here. It's fine. I'm fine. Right. And they think that just being positive is going to change their life when all that is, is glorified avoidance to maintain some sense of comfort. There is no light without darkness. Right. And so we just need to honor these emotions and live in what's called optimism. Optimism is not about denying challenges in your life. It's about accepting that this is a real challenge. Yes, I am. These are my blood levels, right? My cholesterol is at this place or my weight is here. That is a factual truth. And I'm excited to change this. I'm going to do something about it. So it's not avoiding reality. It's coming face to face with it. 

Amber B 34:24 

It's really good. Awesome. Okay. Number four. 

Brad Bizjack 34:26 

Number four. All right. So feeling alive and $3 might almost buy you a Starbucks. That's about it. It's, it's not going to do much to change your life. If you just feel alive, you need to master your productive output. And this can absolutely be related to macros and counting and fitness and all this stuff, but this will translate into every area of your life. Most people focus. Let me, I'll actually ask a question. Have you ever faced a time, rhetorical question, have you ever faced a time where you've checked all the boxes and yet you still feel overwhelmed behind stressed out?  

Amber B 35:10 

Yes. I’ll answer the rhetorical question. 

Brad Bizjack 35:14 

But you've all said times when you've got next to nothing done in your list and you felt alive. 

Amber B 35:18 

Sure. Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 35:19 

There's a reason why that is. It's because when you felt empty after doing all the things you were focused on what was urgent and demanded in your life. When you felt alive, you were focused on what was important. Life doesn't need to be urgent. And the more, the less time you focus on what's actually important, the more urgent life feels. And so most people will just make to do lists a million miles long, and they will just focus on getting the little things done in that list to clear up space, to focus on what actually matters. And when they do that, there's this looming sense of guilt. So by the time they actually get to the productive action that actually yields results, they feel exhausted. They got nothing left. They'll say, I'll start tomorrow. I'll start on Monday. Sound familiar, right?  

Amber B 36:04 

Sounds so familiar. Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 36:06 

It's because they're trying to clear up space instead of doing what's actually important. And so it's incredibly important that we shift from making these checklists a million miles long, where your dreams are rated right there with laundry to instead asking yourself a different question. What result do I want today? Today, I want to be the most vitally alive, healthiest version of myself ever. That's the result I'm going after. Fantastic. What actions would automatically lead to that result? And chances are the actions you choose are the ones you've been avoiding the most and the ones that are the most uncomfortable for you. But when you start with what matters most towards the results you want, instead of just checking a box, you will feel so proud of yourself, so alive, and it automatically cascades into the next thing. 

So the second most important action item, you have more energy going into that than you did the first versus the opposite where most people just drain themselves. And if you ever look at these people that seem to almost effortlessly succeed, it just seems like it's easier for them. It's not, but it seems like it. It's simply because they're choosing what's important instead of what's demanded. And so if the more time you spend on what actually matters and the results you want, then the less urgent life will feel. But Brad, I have kids. I have a life. Yes, that makes you normal, right? I just want to make a note to everybody out here. Look at, just for a moment, the most successful people you know, right? The people that have, let's say, a great business or a great career or whatever it is, and they're succeeding beyond standard norms. Do they also have families? Mostly. Not always, but mostly. And do they have more or less responsibilities than most people? More, typically, right? How does that make sense, right? The reason is because these people are prioritizing what's important. And so the reason I'm sharing this is because most people will take normal life events and make them the reason why they can't succeed. If you have kids, if you have a job, if you have stuff going on, challenges in your life, stuff with family, negative relatives, all this stuff, welcome to being normal.  

Amber B 38:20 

Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 38:20 

That makes you a normal human being. And that is no longer an excuse. And so what we need to start doing is being the successful person now and ask ourselves, what result do we want? And then reverse engineer action from there. And you will get way more done and way less time in any context of life. And you will feel more alive with more energy, which automatically helps the first three.  

Amber B 38:40 

That's really, really great. Yeah. So I hired Brad as my one-to-one coach earlier this year. And this was something that this distinguished between important and urgent was something that was just so mind-blowing for me and has really transformed the way that I approach my day and I approach productivity is not being in reaction. And I think so much of my time was spent in reaction. I think a lot of us spend a lot of our lives in reaction to other people, to other things, to other pressures that we have. And when you can get out of that reactionary energy and into focusing on what is actually important, deciding what's important, and then focusing on what's important and reverse engineering from what's important, your life just changes.  

Brad Bizjack 39:19 

100%. And it's amazing how easy it is to change too.  

Amber B 39:22 

Yeah.  

Brad Bizjack 39:22 

It just shifts so incredibly quickly. So a hundred percent agree.  

Amber B 39:27 

That's awesome. Okay. And then let's wrap it up with number five.  

Brad Bizjack 39:30 

Number five. And this is, I want to put a little caveat on this that most people will post this as an Instagram cliche, but they never live it. And I'll say it a different way than it's normally said on the gram. And that is contemplate death. Now this is like, that sounds morbid. It's not. Death is the greatest teacher in life. And most people delay their sense of joy, fulfillment, fun, until something else happens, until they hit a certain weight, until they follow a plan perfectly for a few weeks. They delay feelings of joy and fulfillment, right? Well, if we contemplate death, the reason I say that is because I reverse engineer everything I do in my life, beginning with the end in mind. Stephen Covey talks about that, right? Begin with the end of mind. And most people think about it in a career context. And that's great. But what about from a macro context? What do I want my life to look like? Right? What do I want to feel like on that last day? And if I reverse engineer from there, then I realize that a lot of the things that I have in my life are the greatest gifts of my life, right? I think about a lot of times people are so stressed out with work or money or whatever it is, they miss their daughter's arms wrapping around them at the end of the day. How beautiful of a gift that is. They miss the intimacy with their partner. They miss the view. They don't take awe in a sunset or adventure in a smile, because they're so focused on the next thing they need to check off. 

And so I am obsessed with, and I'm not perfect at it, right? I don't plan to be. But I'm reverse engineering from what I want my life to be about. And when you do, you can, insert Instagram cliche, appreciate the journey. Most people just post about it, but it's about truly living it. And so what if we just take a moment and slow down? Because my mentor, our mutual mentor, taught me one time a while ago, and it changed the way that I viewed my life, that the higher you want to go, the lighter you have to be. And so if you really want to achieve something amazing, and it doesn't need to be in a career context, it could be in a health context, any context, the higher you want to go, the lighter you have to be, meaning the more fulfillment you need to live with. And it is not based on what happens in your life. It's based on your perception of your life. You change your perception of your life. You have a whole new life instantly. My favorite quote of all time is from Tony Robbins. And it's when you trade your expectations for appreciations, your whole life changes in an instant. 

And so my challenge to everyone here is to contemplate death. Just take a moment and make those memories with your kids last a couple of heartbeats longer, because what you're looking for in food can be found in what you already have. It's already there. The joy, the fulfillment that you think those choices will bring you, already exists in your life. And if you just take a moment and pause and notice them, then you won't be seeking from any other source. You'll feel alive on the inside, you'll naturally take better care of yourself. 

Amber B 42:40 

Yeah. It's that difference between working from an I am whole perspective, and then being excited about what it is that you want to achieve. It's the difference between desiring something and needing something to happen to be able to be whole or complete. And I see that a lot with our clients when we can really get them to accept where they are, to feel okay in the skin that they're in currently, then we can work from a place of excitement and desire, and look what I can do, and look who I can become in the process, versus I have to get there, or I'm not going to be okay, or people aren't going to love me, or I'm not going to be able to live as long as I want to live, right? That fear and that need is a terrible energy for which to go after any kind of goal.  

Brad Bizjack 43:24 

100%. Yeah. You can't build from fear and scarcity. Fear is just an obsession with an unwanted future. And whatever you focus on, you create more of. Right? So if you're obsessed with what could go wrong, you're going to create what could go wrong.  

Amber B 43:36 

Yeah. Such a good reminder. 

Brad Bizjack 43:37 

Yeah. And what's wrong is always available to you, but so is what's right. So find it. 

Amber B 43:43 

It's really, really good. Okay, Brad, this has been awesome. And I know we're just like, this is like the tip of the iceberg, right?  

Brad Bizjack 43:49 

Barely. 

Amber B 43:50 

You just barely touched the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more that you can speak on. I know you have so much in your back pocket to be able to help and serve clients. So you have a challenge that's coming up. My audience loves a good challenge. We always do challenges. So they're real into challenges. So tell us a little bit about your challenge that you have coming up.  

Brad Bizjack 44:08 

Yes, absolutely. So coming up next week, we have something called the Success Accelerator. It's a totally free five-day mindset challenge where you're going to discover how to create your, first of all, what your unique definition of success is and how to create it, how to get rid of the subconscious blocks, the limiting beliefs, the negative emotional patterns, the fears, the disempowering identities, everything we talked about today that would prevent you from ever getting there. This program has helped 60,000 people from all over the world transform their quality of life. And I've seen it from every walk of life imaginable. And so imagine coming in on the very first day, knowing exactly what you want out of every area of your life, knowing exactly what's getting in your way. And then over the course of those five days, we get to work and we're going to break through that. 

So if you want to discover how high performers seem to achieve their goals so much faster than all their peers with less stress and less pressure, the Success Accelerator is for you, no matter what your goals are. And here's my promise too, it will absolutely help you in a health and wellness context. And you'll be able to bring the exact same strategies in every other context of your life, whether it be financial, whether it be career, parenting, you name it, because success isn't one dimensional. It's not just based on one thing. This is about holistic success in every area of your life. And so we're going to reverse engineer from what you want most and everything we talked about today, we're going to talk about how to actually make those changes in your life. And so starts on Monday, bright and early, make sure you enroll. Amber's got the link for you. And I promise you, I will not betray your trust that it's going to be above and beyond anything you could ever expect. 

Amber B 45:45 

That's awesome. And what I love about this too is, you know, we talked about concepts during the podcast and a lot of times people will be like, yeah, that sounds really great. Set a goal and a dream that is unreasonable. I double tap that on Instagram, but then are you going to actually go and do it? Like, are you going to go and actually do it for your life? And that's the next step is actually doing the dang thing. And when you joined a challenge like this, you get put in a context where it's like, now the rubber meets the road and we're actually going to figure out what is your unreasonable vision for your life. And so it's the actual implementation of this is that's going to change everything. And like I said, earlier in the year, I invested multiple tens of thousands of dollars to get coaching one-on-one coaching with Brad. And so even just to have the opportunity to be able to do this challenge with you, it's like, I'm so excited for my audience to be able to come and join you. So you can go to bicepsafterbabies.com/success, and you can go and register for the challenge. I'll be in there. I'll be hanging out as well. I'm going to be doing the work. Like I have work to do on my own, on my own mindset. So come on and join us. You can get the link in the show notes or just go to bicepsafterbabies.com/success. Next Monday, we start.  

Brad Bizjack 46:52 

Let's party. It's going to be a great time. 

Amber B 46:54 

Okay, Brad, this has been fantastic. Thanks for being so generous and sharing so openly with my audience and just being such a great example of, um, you know, doing the thing, like implementing the stuff that you talk about. I know that you not only talk the talk, but you actually walk the walk. And that's very evident by the way that you show up.  

Brad Bizjack 47:10 

Well, thank you, my friend. I really appreciate it. My hope is that this speaks to someone and that it touches someone's life to be able to just take one step in the right direction. Because my firm belief is that all it takes is one insight to radically change your entire life and one action in the right direction can set the stage for everything to come. So, so grateful for the opportunity to serve your people. 

Amber B 47:30 

Thanks so much. Ah, wasn't that so good? Brad is a very dear friend. I've known him for several years. And I, like I said, I hired him earlier this year because I had some stuff that was getting in my way and I needed a different perspective. And Brad was amazing and worked with me for six months to be able to really grow my mindset and really be able to overcome some of the things that were holding me back from the success that I want in my life. So I can't recommend Brad enough. He walks the walk. He knows what he's talking about and you'll be in very good hands during his challenge next week. So come join me, head to bicepsafterbabies.com/success, and come join the success accelerator with me and Brad. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go on and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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