145: Postpartum Weight Loss and PCOS with Shaelie Shaw [I Did It Series]

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 145

Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four.  Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

 

Amber B  0:49  

Hey, Hey, Hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And surprise, this is a Friday, we don't normally publish podcasts on Friday, normally our drop day is Tuesday. And you'll notice we did drop a podcast on Tuesday, have you listened to it yet? It's an amazing episode with the one and only Jody Moore and we talk about your relationship with the scale. So if you have not listened to Tuesday's episode, definitely put that high up on your playlist because it's such a good one. But as I was okay, so this idea, this brainchild of mine came about because I like to every so often bring on past clients and be able to share their stories. I think it's really valuable for people to hear stories of other people who are successful. Because guess what? I may not be, I may not sound like you, like maybe you don't have kids, or maybe you are a stay at home mom. Or maybe you're a lot older than me or maybe you have PCOS or like all of the things. There's all these variables and so I can share my story and I can share my successes. And it's really easy for people to discount and be like, Yeah, well, but Amber didn't have this experience. And so one of my intentions is to bring people on the podcast that give a wide variety of experiences, a wide variety of stories, and journeys, so that you can find yourself in them. If you can't find yourself in me, find yourself in them and see how they've been successful and start to use that belief of like, hey, if that person's been successful, I can be successful as well. 

 

Amber B  2:29

So I wanted to do a couple of episodes. And I was thinking, hey, we'll interview a couple of women, and we'll batch them together in an episode. And you know, we'll just do a couple of these episodes and that'll be really fun. And then I sat down with these women, and I interviewed them. And when I finished the interview, I was like, I can't like to batch these together. Like these each need to be their own individual episode because we talk about totally, first of all, like titling the episode is so hard when I do that, because I can't speak to what we're going to talk about with each of the individual people and I felt like it was a disservice to the person's story. Like these stories that I want to share are so good and so important and so valuable that I didn't want them to get skipped over because they were just like a single episode. And so what I decided to do, I messaged my team, and I was like, Okay, here's what we're gonna do is we're going to start doing a Friday bonus episode. And the bonus episode is going to be these like shorter episodes that are just another woman's story. And you've probably been inspired before listening to other people's stories. And that's what I want these Friday episodes to be where you come and you listen to somebody's story and you can get inspired, that if she was able to do it with whatever circumstances she had, then you can do it too. And I think as you listen to these, you're going to start to learn and pull out different things from their stories that you can apply to your own journey. Because what is the key for one person, or what is the aha moment for one person is different client to client, person to person. And so the things that I pull out and say, may resonate with you sometimes. And I guarantee that the things that these women say they're going to be a little bit different. They're going to say things in a different way. And it's going to land differently for you. And so if I can have any more opportunities to say things in a different way to have somebody have an aha moment or a breakthrough because of what we put on the podcast, then heck yeah, I'm going to do that. And so that's what we're going to do is every Friday we're going to be posting a shorter episode. That's just sharing a story. And I'm really excited about that. 

 

Amber B  4:36

And today we're going to kick off with Shaelie and Shaelie's story is one that I think a lot of people will be able to relate to because she's like the classic Biceps After Babies if you're looking at like the actual name story, because she had the experience of being able to have a transformation and losing weight pre children. She then got pregnant, had her baby, and then went back to trying to do the things that she did prior to delivering your baby to lose weight and it didn't work anymore. And many of you have had kids who are like, yeah, like it's different post child are so much different about your life, your body, your experience, like it's just different. And so she went back and tried to do things that had worked before, and they didn't work anymore. And so she had this experience of having to figure out okay, well, now what, now what's going to actually work for me now that I'm postpartum now that I have a child at home? Now that, you know, I have this experience sheet, she talks briefly about being diagnosed with PCOS as well. So it's like, all of these things came, you know, kind of coincided, and she's like, okay, now, what do I do now. And so we talk about her journey, we talk about what that looked like, as a mom, and how it was different, how she needed to think about the process differently, being in that, you know, post baby experience. 

 

Amber B  6:00

Now, one of the things that we talked about on this episode that I think is really great, and that I see a lot is this idea that people tend to some people, probably not you listening to this, but some people have say that they're gonna put off their transformation, put off their weight loss, put off joining Macros 101 or whatever, until after they've had their kids because they know, why would I? They say, Well, this is what they say, why would you do all this work to get to a physique or transformation, when I know that I'm going to get pregnant and like gain a bunch of weight anyway? And if you've ever said that to yourself, you're totally normal. Shaelie talks about how that's been a challenge for her mentally that she had to work through because she wants to get pregnant again. And it can be challenging to be like, Well, why am I wasting all this time? Why am I putting all this effort when I'm just gonna gain that weight back during the pregnancy? And so if that's your if you ever thought that, we talked about that in this episode, and I kind of give her a little coaching advice here live, I've coached her in the group as well. But I give her a little coaching here live, that I think if you're in that situation, will also be able to apply to you. So I'm so excited for you to hear Shaelie's story. So let's dive in. 

 

Amber B  7:12 would like to welcome Shaelie to the podcast.  Shaelie, how are you doing? 

 

Shaelie  7:18  

Good. I'm feeling good. I'm happy to be here. 

 

Amber B  7:21  

I'm excited to have you here too, because we're gonna talk about something that is very on brand for Biceps After Babies, this idea of transformation that happens after you've had a child and what that looks like pre child and what that looks like post child and how those are very different experiences. So I'm excited to be able to have you share your story for any mom who is maybe going through that right now. So she can kind of see what's possible at the other end of the journey. So the dive in where you just tell us a little bit about your history. Tell us a little about where you were prior to coming into Macros 101, what was feeling really hard before you started?

 

Shaelie  8:01  

Yeah, so I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I actually lost my sister at a young age, I was about six. And from then I just started to put on weight. And so I even growing up, I always had this mentality that I'm just always going to be big. There's nothing I can do. And then when I was in my 20's, I lost like 80 pounds. I was in that phase of life where I was trying to get married. And so I thought, Oh, if I want to meet a guy, like I need to be skinny. So that was kind of my motivation. And it was a strong one. So it really kept me going. Yes, it worked. I got to I mean, then I you know, didn't feel like I had lost enough but that's a whole another story.

 

Amber B  8:46  

A whole other podcast on that. Oh, yeah. It never happens. That never happens where you lose weight. And then it's not enough.

 

Shaelie  8:54  

So I got down to my lowest weight. And then I met a wonderful man who loves me no matter what I weigh. And that motivation was suddenly gone. So when I got married, we got pregnant right away. And at the time in my pregnancy, I was thinking, you know what, I'm just gonna be pregnant and eat whatever I want. And then I'll just lose it again. Like, it'll be fine. And I ended up gaining probably 50-60 pounds in my pregnancy. And so I, you know, had the baby and then after I was like, Okay, I'm gonna lose weight. I'm just gonna go back to doing the things I was doing before. And suddenly like, those things didn't work anymore. And it was I had, you know, I was finishing school, I was married, I had a newborn baby. And I couldn't put the focus into it that I had done before. And all the different meal plans, the different exercise stuff that I was doing. It wasn't working like it did before. And it was really discouraging, and I kept trying, I would have kind of fluctuations where I would, you know, lose 10 to 20 pounds and then gain it back. 

 

Shaelie  10:07  

And then after my son was about probably a year and a half, we wanted to start trying again. But I was nervous because I was still at a really high weight and I didn't feel comfortable having another baby, because what if then I gained another 50 pounds. And then I already felt unhealthy and then to be even more, it was scary. So I want this back and forth of, Okay, I'm gonna try really hard to lose weight, and then it wouldn't work. So then I would, okay, I'm just going to try to get pregnant. And then you know, I'll worry about it again later. And it was just this constant back and forth. And it was really hard on me. And I felt like my body was failing me, not only not being able to have a baby, but also not being able to lose weight. So it was like both the things I was trying to do. It wasn't working. And I felt like I was trying so hard. I was doing all the things that I knew how to do. And none of it was working. 

 

Shaelie  11:00 

And then COVID hit, I gained another 20 pounds. And I hit a weight that I hadn't hit since before I had ever lost weight at my heaviest and even more than when I gave birth. And so it was really discouraging. I just wanted to keep trying things. And I actually, I found two I think last year, probably mid last year, like in the summer. And I have seen your Macros 101 program, and I want to do it. But I was scared of the money because we didn't have a lot of money. And I was scared of putting in money for something to fail again, because I already failed once and then the window closed. And I instantly had buyer's remorse, not buyer's remorse, but the opposite of that, knowing where I should have done it. Like, why didn't I do it, I need to do something. And then I ended up joining another program, which was really good for me, because I feel like it kind of set me up for what was coming. And it wasn't no tracking, just kind of almost intuitive eating but not quite, you know, just listening to your body. And so I kind of had already started doing some mindset work of like, don't restrict yourself, food is food, you know, and then that ended, I didn't lose weight. And I just felt like, Okay, again, I failed, but I was in a little bit of a better place to where I felt like, Okay, I'm on the right path, but I just need a little bit more structure. And I just feel like if I have structure, then I'll be better. And that's what I was like, Okay, I need to do Macros 101. I think now that I'm in a good headspace, I have a better relationship with food. It's just going to improve. But I was still scared of the money. And so I convinced my mom as an early birthday present, which is that my birthday is in June, and it was open in January. Yeah, that's like, Mom, will you just like to pay for this at all? Like, this will be my birthday present. And you won't have to worry about it. And you know, and then here I am. You know, however many months later after that, it was an excellent place. 

 

Amber B  13:02  

That's so awesome. Yeah. So talk to us a little bit about when you actually remember when you joined. And I remember you saying that your mother or was your mother in law, your mother?

 

Shaelie  13:10  

my mom 

 

Amber B  13:11  

your mom had bought you and had paid for you to come in and that you were so grateful for her. So you know, let's go back to that moment and you're coming into the program. You're ready and raring to go. What was that first little while like? What were some of the like, the new things that were new to you that ended up being something that was really beneficial? One of the things, and I'm not trying to lead you at all, but like one of the things that you had mentioned was like some of the things that you tried before didn't work this time around. So what was different with Macros 101, when you went through that process, what tools were different?

 

Shaelie  13:45  

So I think the biggest thing for me was knowing that I was the one in control, that I wasn't following another plan. I loved the thing I love the most about the program that it's like, yes, these are like, you know, this is what has been proven to work. But ultimately, it's your journey, and you have to do what's right for your body. And so when I jumped into that, and like, you know, going through the modules, I just felt like, Oh my gosh, I don't have to worry about you know, what fits in what container that I'm meeting this macro because that's what I have to be. But you know, choosing and being able to make the choice of what works for my life, what works for my body and adjusting as I need to and it was eye opening that, like I didn't have to, you know, follow these rules, because I felt like before I would try following all the rules and when it didn't work. I just wanted to give up. Where it was here while there are you know, I had guidelines, I guess, I don't know. But if it doesn't work, then you just adjust and you just do it differently and that's okay. And so that was huge for me. 

 

Amber B  14:51  

Yeah, so good. And I think that you highlight such an important thing that we talked about in the program. And there's a reason that I talked about it and it's this idea that like I don't know you and your situation, you know your situation better than me. And I think a lot of times when we get into coaching situations, it's because we, on some level, believe that the coach knows more than us and is more of an expert than us. And yes, they may be more of an expert in lifting or nutrition or whatever. But guess who's the expert on your life? Do you like it? Yeah, like, I'm not. I am not a more of an expert on Shaelie's life and Shaelie is, you're the expert on your life. And so how can we start to meld what I know about nutrition and what you know about your lifestyle, and what you want to create? And how can we meld those things together and put you in the driver's seat, to be able to figure out how this is going to work best for your life. And that's what's going to make you successful long term. The goal is not for you to stick around. I love you and all and I don't want to coach you for the rest of your life. And I don't think that you need that.  I think you want to be in control of your own life. And that's what I'm really hoping that you know, you and other clients take away from the experiences that you are in control of. So if we're looking back, and you know, at any point, what would you say were some of the pivotal moments for you? Did you have something where it was like, a big aha moment? Or were there things that were like, this really shifted things for me, during your experience? Was there anything like that for you? 

 

Shaelie  16:23  

You know, it's hard to, I wouldn't say that I had like, one moment that was like, bam, big. I just felt like every day there was something new, putting in those 20 minutes, like simple, like nothing crazy that I have to like, go through this immense amount, you know, where, yes, there's a lot of information. But taking it one step at a time, I feel like every day, I was learning something, and I was changing, and I was growing and I was adjusting. And you know, that wasn't something that I hadn't really experienced before.

 

Amber B  16:53  

Yeah, we talk a lot about layers. And I think that's kind of what you're speaking to is this idea that like, it wasn't any like one thing, it was just like the slow over time, just doing like the reps, like putting in the reps, pulling off this layer, and then pulling off this layer of the onion, and then pulling off this layer. And just slowly over time, you start to reveal like a new onion that's underneath. And it's, it's just like when you go to the gym, not every rep, you don't do one rep. And then bam, you have biceps. It's like you go in and you put in the reps and it's like overtime that that slow decision to put in the reps every single day is what ends up creating that transformation. 

 

Amber B  17:33 

So I would love for you to speak, because one of my goals is to highlight a bunch of different women in a bunch of different stages of life. You are in the stage of life where you've had a baby, you've been postpartum, you have a young child, right? You're going through this experience of having a young child and that just changes the dynamics. So how has this experience been different for you, with a young child going through a fitness journey? And what does that mean for you and prioritizing yourself? Like how have you been able to find that balance between caring for your child making your child probably the most important thing in your life and also taking care of yourself?

 

Shaelie  18:13  

That's definitely a balance. You know, kind of like I said before, when I had been losing weight before, it was like, I was single, I was in school, but I didn't take a lot of credit. So I could spend hours at the gym, I could spend all this time making this, you know, special food. And now it's like, okay, I don't have as much time to work out as I would like to. And, you know, it's understanding that you're not going to do it all every day. And that's okay. You know, I have slowly learned that my journey is not going to be perfect. Every day is not going to be perfect. My child is definitely not perfect and it is a challenge every day just being a parent. 

 

Amber B  18:59  

Yeah, way harder than I thought it was gonna be. 

 

Shaelie  19:03  

I thought I was just gonna be this wonderful mom, and it was gonna be perfect. And newsflash. It's not. And so, you know, there's a lot of room for me to feel inadequate. And I think that was kind of part of my struggle before. I felt like, I'm not a good mom, I can't lose weight, I can't work out like I want to, because I love working out. And because of where I am in my weight right now, it was really hard for me to do the things at the gym that I wanted to do, just because my body was, you know, I couldn't put as much on it or, you know, pressure on my knees because of the extra weight I was carrying. And so all these things are building up, you know, on your shoulders. And I think I really had to make time for myself and have a supportive partner that yes loves me, even if I stay this way forever, but also that knows that I have goals and that I have things that I'm trying to do and allows me to do that. And that has been such a huge thing, just having, you know, him there to take care of Eli when I need him to and be able to give me that space. 

 

Shaelie  20:10  

And so I think, you know, as a, you know, my kid is almost three. So I don't know that I would say I'm a new mom necessarily, but I don't know, when you stop being a new mom, but being a fairly new mom, I think, you know, you really have to take the time to every day sit down and say, Okay, what do I need to do today? What needs to happen? If it doesn't happen? It's okay. You know, and that's one thing I, I feel like Macros 101 helped me understand that, you know, you do what you can, and if it doesn't work, that's okay. It's not all or nothing. So if I don't get it all done, then it's not I haven't failed, then I just, that's what I got done that day. And then, you know, the next day, I tried to do a little more, and you know, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. And, you know, that's so different from how I felt before. And so I am so grateful for that. And just, you know, knowing that if you are a mom, and you're in this place, that you're not alone, and there are so many people out there who are like me and who are like, you know, whoever's listening, and I think, you know, you just have to remember that your success is inevitable. It may take time. That's one of my favorite affirmations for Macros 101. And you may not do it all in one day, but that's okay.

 

Amber B  21:37  

Yeah, so what would you say is the biggest change? You kind of talked about a little bit about that all or nothing mentality that's been a shift for you? What would you say is like, some other big changes that have happened or results that you've been able to create, through this experience?

 

Shaelie  21:54  

I think for me, the biggest change has been, you know, really, tracking is important. And I was trying to live not tracking and I obviously don't want to track forever, and that's okay, I'll get there. I'm not there right now. And that's okay. Because when I don't track, then I just, my brain is not good enough to just know where I'm at. I just, you know, it's hard to know how much my body needs. And so really, realizing that tracking is a tool that it's not restricting me that it's not holding me back has been essential for me, because I'm really, you know, seeing what I need to see. And knowing that, okay, my body's getting enough protein, I'm getting enough carbs. And I loved it, it was one of your podcast episodes. I think it was about kids, but about how it's not about making sure you're not overeating, it's about making sure you're getting enough. And that has been really big for me, especially, you know, making sure I'm getting enough protein, making sure I'm, you know, have what my body needs. And with that, I have been able to see success, because I've been able to stay in my calorie deficit. And I've been able to, you know, reach my goals. I'm at the point now where I've lost 20 plus pounds, which, you know, I have a weight goal that I'd like to be at just for a healthy pregnancy in the future. But I have tried not to focus on the weight, but I feel so much better. And I feel, you know, good in my clothes. And I know that with not only the mindset work, but the tools that are available to me that I have been able to do it. And I don't think I could have done it without that. And I know, I talked to a lot of people who are like, Oh, it just takes so much time like tracking, weighing your stuff. Like, that's just not worth it to me. And you know, that's fine. There may be people that that is too much for them. But for me, it has been the turnaround in my journey, I feel like.

 

Amber B  24:06  

Yeah, and I think you make a great point, which is like, we always need to be prioritizing what's important to us. And you know, I talk a lot about that, like, I don't pick your priorities, like you get to pick your priorities. So if you're someone here, like if you would rather you just have to lose some weight, like, would you rather lose 20 pounds and track or would you rather, you know, not lose 20 pounds and not track and there's no harm and or judgment in either of those choices. It really just comes down to what is your priority and what are you willing to do for the changes that you want to create because if nothing changes, nothing changes. And I think that's such an important thing for, you know, listeners to remember is like, if nothing changes, nothing changes. We can't expect a new result without taking some new actions. And you know, a lot of what you've done chilies is take the tools again that I've taught and utilize them in a way that works for you. You know, I'm not going to tell you exactly how you have to use those tools. I'm going to say, Hey, here's this hammer. And like, here's what you can do with this hammer, you can like take a nail out, you can like hit a thing in, you can like hit big things, you can hit Little things like this is the tool, and this is how it works. And then you get to pick up the hammer and go like, okay, cool, this is what I want to build with the hammer, this is what I want to do with the hammer, I'm gonna use this hammer this way, or I'm gonna use it a different way. And I think that's, it's so awesome to be able to hear you on the other side of being able to feel like you're back in control. And I think for a lot of women who gain a lot of weight, especially with pregnancy, with you know, in the postpartum period, that can be a reoccurring theme that I hear is like, it feels like I'm out of control. Just like I'm not in control of my body. And I feel like pregnancy is like that, anyway, there's this, there's this this like, sense of just like, it's not my body anymore. It's like, has this like thing in it. And I gotta be like, thinking about making sure the baby has enough and all of those things, and it's like, not your body anymore. And, you know, being able to hear that you're in that place where you feel like, Okay, I got this. It is my body like I am in control, I can make these choices. It's such an amazing place to be. What would you say was the hardest thing/has been the hardest thing for you going through this process?

 

Shaelie  26:21  

I think for me, the hardest thing has been the cycles, and not just wanting to be in a cut forever. 

 

Amber B  26:35  

Yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this, okay.

 

Shaelie  26:38  

Because that's the mentality I had before. I used to be like a beach body coach. And I feel like there I like, Oh, I just this is I eat in a deficit forever, unless I am not trying to lose weight. And then you just go and go and go. And then if it stops working, I guess I need to be in a lower calorie bracket. And then you fall into that cutting and cutting and cutting and you know, your body wants its homeostasis. And so it's just gonna, you know, keep doing what it needs to do. And so getting past that was okay, I am, I'll be okay, if I stopped my cut. You know, and obviously, I've had a little roller coaster. But just understanding the importance of those phases, it was hard for me at first. But then once I did it, it was like, Okay, eye opening and I still, I am currently in reverse-ish. And it's been hard for me, that has probably been the hardest part of this journey so far. But just

 

Amber B  27:43  

Because why? 

 

Shaelie  27:45  

Because I was so used to cutting all the time. 

 

Amber B  27:47  

And you're not where you want to be? 

 

Shaelie  27:49 

Yeah, exactly. 

 

Amber B  27:50  

That was me who led you. But like, I know that right? And that's so common. It's like, I'm not ready to reverse, because I'm not where I want to be. So why would I want to stay here? I don't want to stay here. I want to keep going. So how did you talk yourself through that? How did you walk yourself through that?

 

Shaelie  28:04  

Because for me, I was thinking if I, what if I stay in this cut. And when I really, my body doesn't want to. And then next thing you know, I've gained back the 20 pounds that I've lost, because that's what I did before. I cut,  lost weight. And then I got sick of cutting. And instead of you know, doing it the right way, I just went screw it. I'm done with this. And then back came the weight and more.

 

Amber B  28:31  

Yeah, that's classic Yo, yo back and forth. And so what you did was make a choice to break that cycle. And it was not intuitive. Like, it's not intuitive for anybody to eat more. You know, like, sadly, that's kind of where it's at. It's like, everybody thinks the solution is to eat less. And so it's not intuitive for most women to eat more. But what you recognize, Shaelie, what you were, like, so smart to recognize is that you didn't want to fall into the pattern that you would have had had before. And what had caused that pattern was just continuing to think that eating less is better, like always just about eating less. And so you were breaking that pattern by going through that process in reverse. 

 

Amber B  29:06

Now you and I had a conversation about this recently, right? Because you want to get pregnant at some point. Right? Like there's some fear there of starting at a higher weight as you go into that pregnancy. So we've kind of walked us through where you're at with that, or what that fear is like, because I think I really want to honor this because this is a very real thing that so many women go through. And actually I will say that I have a lot of women who join Macros 101 after they have had their final baby. They're like they didn't want to do it before their final baby because they're like, let's just get all the kids out of the way and then we'll like lose the weight. So how do you find that balance between reaching for your goals and moving towards that, while also realizing that hey, in a couple of months, it's not gonna be my body anymore. Again, I'm gonna have another baby inside of there.

 

Shaelie  29:57  

So it is definitely really And that has been a big struggle for me because there's this little, little monster in the back of my head, that says you're putting in all this work. What happens when you get pregnant and it's all gone? Because yes, like, it's, you know, it's possible to not gain a lot of weight, but you're gonna gain weight when you have a baby. Yeah, now with everything and so that has, even when I was in my cut, when I was being super successful, that was always in the back of my head, like, Okay, this is happening, what happens when I get pregnant? What if I fall into those old habits I had before, because I have all these good habits now and I can be successful? I feel like I can have a healthy pregnancy by eating what I need to eat. But what if I go back to old Shaelie, who said, it's not worth it, I just want to eat all the things because my hormones are crazy. Screw it, I'm just gonna do it. And so that has been a big hurdle for me. 

 

Shaelie  30:56 

And at first, I was super, like, you know what, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do the reverse, I'm at a better place. So you know that 20 pounds, I feel like it's helped me a lot. But I obviously I really wanted to be under 200 pounds when I got pregnant, just because I felt like that was a little more controllable. And I started out at around 245 when I started Macros 101. And so I'm about halfway there. So not quite. But at the end of what I was ending my cut, it was because I was starting to feel that fatigue. And I had that fear of, Okay, I'm going into the reverse. But I'm not at my goal of under 200 pounds. And so I knew that I needed to go there, so that I didn't revert back and just gain weight. And so as I started the reverse, it was hard, it was really hard for me. And so that bug in the back of my head got bigger, and kept saying, I think you need to go back to the cut. I think you were, you know, too hesitant, you're on a better path now. So maybe it's okay. And this is a coaching conversation that Amber and I actually had, and it was, you know, finding that am I wanting to go back to the cut, because that's what my body needs right now so that I can be in a healthier place for pregnancy? Or do I stay on the path and you know, keep going in that reverse so that I can, you know, truly give the cycles and my body what the attention that they need. 

 

Shaelie  30:56 

And I'll be honest, I still haven't completely decided what I'm going to do. Honestly, a part of me, I think is I should be finding out soon, whether this month we have, you know, been successful. And so because if I have been successful, I probably won't continue a cut. Because I don't want to be in a deficit when I'm pregnant. And so I've had to decide what is fear and what is right for my body. And I am finding that I am overcoming the fear and just, you know, knowing what my body needs. And you know, that's something that I have been struggling with in the past because I wanted to do it the way everybody else did it. Because they had success because all you see online on social media is here's some great before and after right here, all these great things that everybody did, you need to do it this way, so that you can have this success. And so I still sometimes have trouble getting over that. I have to do it this way because that's how everybody else has success. But more important than that I need to listen to my body. So while I am unsure at this very moment in time, if I'm going to continue on my reverse, or if I'm going to go back into the cut, and just call this period, my diet breaks. I will decide soon. But I am just working through that process still of listening to my body and not listening to the fear. 

 

Amber  34:07 

Yeah, well, that's what I appreciate so much. And I'm so grateful that you shared that. I think how we make the decision where that decision comes from is just as important as what the decision is. And so whatever you decide, my goal, as a coach, is to help you make that decision from possibility and opportunity and not from fear. And then whatever decision comes from that is the right decision for you. But nobody makes the best decisions out of fear. Nobody, like nobody ever gets up and is like, I would like to accept this award for everything I've done. And then you know what I had to do with it following fear, like letting fear stop me from what I want to do like nobody. It's like the worst TED Talk ever. So it's like where you make that decision from is is one of the most important things and here's the thing that I want to point out, in case anybody else is listening who has some of the experience or the thoughts or the fears that Shaelie has kind of expressed of like, why should I go through all this effort now if I'm just going to regain the weight when I get pregnant? Here's the piece that I think sometimes we forget is that this experience that you've had the things that you've learned Shaelie have? Yes, created some sort of physical transformation. But true or false, they've also created an internal transformation? True, and that doesn't go away. Right, getting pregnant, gaining weight doesn't change that internal transformation. And so that's one of the reasons we focus on that internal transformation, because I truly believe when we transform inside that equates to an external transformation. And so yes, the external transformation may change because you get pregnant and you have a baby, but that internal transformation that can't be taken away from you, it's not going anywhere. 

 

Amber B  35:43  

My business coach told me once, because I think for those of you who have started a business there is this first fear of like, well, what if it doesn't work? And then when it does work, it gets replaced with this fear of like, well, what if I lose it? Right? Like, what if it stops working? And I remember my business coach telling me, even if you lose this business, even if this business goes down, everything you've learned about how to build a business doesn't leave you like you still have it. And you can turn around and you can build another one. And I think that's such a good analogy, like crossing over to the realm of fitness is like everything that you've done the inner work that you've done, Shaelie, it doesn't go anywhere. It's not leaving you, impossible for someone to take that away from you. And so can you create a new future? And in the new future, a new future postpartum again? Absolutely. You absolutely can. And that's why we focus so much on the internal stuff. That's what makes what, what makes that long term. Yeah, so good. Anything else that you want to say, to somebody who's listening, who maybe is in your situation?

 

Shaelie  36:53  

You know, just don't give up, keep trying, keep finding what works for your body, because our bodies are all different. So, you know, we all think something's gonna work for someone else, and it's not going to work for the other person. That's not because, you know, macros don't work. It's because, you know, it doesn't work for your life. And, you know, that's okay. And so I think, you know, I, before I did Macros 101, I thought I was, you know, my body was not mine, I'd been diagnosed with PCOS just before I started. And so it was like, Oh, well, now I'm not gonna be able to lose weight because it's so hard when you have this. And, you know, I had all the excuses in the world to just stop trying. And I'm so glad that I didn't. So if you're listening to this, don't stop, keep going, find what works for you, and learn and grow. And it may be what works for you now may not work for you in 10 years, and that's okay. You learn, you grow, and you move on. 

 

Amber B  37:58  

So good. Thank you so much, Shaelie, for coming on and sharing your story. I really appreciate you being here. 

 

Shaelie  38:02  

You're welcome. I'm glad to do so. 

 

Amber B  38:05  

I hope that you enjoy Shaelie's story. And I'm really excited to be bringing you these episodes every Friday. So make sure that you tune back in on Tuesday, we have a really awesome episode coming up about dealing with unsupportive family and friends, that's gonna be really good. And then again, next Friday, we'll have another story. And like I said, my goal with these stories, you know, maybe Shaelie's episode really resonated with you, maybe that really spoke to where you're at. And maybe it didn't. But my goal is over these Friday episodes to bring in a wide swath of women from all different backgrounds, with all different goals with all different experiences, so that you can get inspired, so that you can get motivated, so that you can really start to see yourself in these women and start to believe that if they can do it, you can do it too, because that belief that it's possible for you is one of the first steps towards getting the results that you want. So I'm so grateful that Shaelie was able to come on and share Shaelie's story, and I'm excited to be able to share more stories with you on upcoming Fridays. 

 

Amber B  39:09  

If you are tired of your only tool for transformation being restriction and deprivation and cutting out food groups, and you want to be someone who can look in the mirror and actually see a visible transformation and you aren't willing to cut out sugar to get there. Then macro counting is the tool that is missing from your tool belt. But just like any tool, a hammer, a saw. The tool is really only as effective as the person who is wielding the tool actually makes it. And what I see time and time again are women who start using the tool of macro counting without really understanding how to set or adjust your macros. And this leads them to getting lackluster results, getting frustrated with the process and scrolling through Instagram  just feeling defeated because they're like, well, macro counting work for that woman, why the heck didn't work for me? And then getting to this place where you quit and you say something silly like, well, I tried and macro counting doesn't work. That is like letting go of a helium balloon and like watching it float away and being like, well, I guess gravity just doesn't work. No, friend, sciences, science. Gravity is working just like it should on that balloon, you just don't quite understand the nuances of gravity, right? And it's the same thing with macro counting. 

 

Amber B  40:32

The question is not does macro counting work? Because macro counting is just basically science. The question is, how can I wield that scientific principle? How can I wield that tool of macro accounting to get better results? How can I use the tool for my specific situation? And that's what I teach my clients inside of Competence In Your Numbers. So I created Competence In Your Numbers, because I saw one glaring large hole in the market. And that is that too many women are relying on expensive coaches to set and adjust their macros for them. Now I get it, because most coaches want you to pay them, and in exchange they'll set your macros for you. And then if you want to pay them more money, they'll, you know, “coach” you and they'll adjust your macros for you like week to week. But of course, they're not gonna actually teach you how to do that yourself. Because why? Well, it's simple. But they want to keep getting paid. Like that's their business model, which I totally get. And it benefits them to make adjusting your macros and setting your macros feel as complicated or as nebulous as possible. But it's really not that complicated. And, well, that's not really my business model. I don't want to set your macros for you. And I really don't want you to keep paying me to have me adjust them for you, I would rather teach you how to do it yourself. So that you don't have to keep paying someone month after month to do something that is simple enough for you to do on your own. It's kind of like that common saying, if you know give him a give a woman will use give a woman a fish and she eats for a day teach a woman how to fish and she eats for a lifetime. So the question really is, do you want to be the woman who gets given a fish and then you're left to metaphorically starve when you stop paying for the fish? Or do you want to be the woman who learns how to fish so that you can keep snagging those fish for free without having to rely on someone else to feed you. So if you're like me, and you're the type of woman who wants to learn how to fish, then Competence In Your Numbers is for you. 

 

Amber B  42:30

Competence In Your Numbers is a live masterclass where I teach you how to set your macros for your unique body. And I teach you how to adjust them over time. Because here's a second common mistake that I see a lot of women making when they start counting macros. They set their macros and they're like, oh, success is just as easy as just following these numbers to the finish line. Which is kind of like saying you can travel around the world in a single vehicle. Right? Stay with me on this metaphor. So sure a car is great for driving across the United States, but then you're going to hit the Atlantic Ocean. And you can't drive that car any further. You have to get on a new vehicle on a boat or a plane to keep going. And the same thing applies to your macros. If you just set your macros once and you keep following them. You're going to plateau, you're going to hit the Atlantic Ocean, and then you're going to get frustrated because what you're doing isn't working anymore, and then you're going to not see results and quit and then really not see results. So just like you got to swap out your vehicle based off of the terrain, if you want to avoid plateauing in your journey, you're going to need to adjust your macros throughout your journey, which for some people can feel like that's really complex. And again, that's what most coaches really want you to believe because well then you'll pay them to do it for you. But I'm not that type of coach, which is why in Competence In Your Numbers, I've really simplified adjusting macros into something that really anyone can learn. And it allows you to skip the overpriced coach and make your adjustments on your own which can really accelerate your results. So if you want to learn to set and adjust your own macros, you'll want to come join me for my live paid masterclass on July 28th.

 

Amber B  44:12

Now, you can go to my website and purchase a prior recording of Competence In Your Numbers. It's always for sale for $199 but because I will be delivering this class live which is always more fun anyways, if you join before the 28th before July 28 you'll get access to everything I teach in there you'll get all the secrets about setting and adjusted macros for just $99 and because Competence In Your Numbers is the perfect step to take the perfect action to take now in order to prime you for my signature program Macros 101. We also allow you to apply your Competence In Your Numbers investment towards Macros 101. Which means if you're listening to this and you plan to join us for the last round of Macros 101 of 2021 in September, Joining Competence In Your Numbers is essentially free because the investment you make in competence your numbers will be applied towards your Macros 101 enroll enrollment, which is super cool. Like that's super cool. 

 

Amber B  45:11

So if you're ready to, you know, finally snap that after picture, that after picture that you've wanted to take, come and join my live masterclass Competence In Your Numbers and you're going to walk away with all those secrets that most coaches won't share, about how to set and adjust your own macros. So if you're ready to sign up, go to bicepsafterbabies.com/confidence to get registered for class and I'll see you on July 28. That's bicepsafterbabies.com/confidence.

 

Amber B  45:43

That wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.

 

Outro

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